<< SO, this morning as I was driving and my mind was wandering it Hit Me,
part
of my resistance to the Farm is that I'm afraid when it gets going Cordy
will die on me as well. <snip> I guess my fear is that I will relax and
trust that
everything's ok and then something awful will happen, Cordy or my Mom or
Gram will die, or my Dad, something will happen to ruin the perfect moment
or to make me regret going for my dreams. <snip>
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Juls,
I kept thinking about your post today. What I'm saying is just going to
come out, and it may have some application or it may not. I may be just
talking to myself. So have no qualms about jettisoning what isn't for you.
Now...here goes.
There is a psychic here who says pets always reflect the concerns of
their owners. She doesn't even deal directly with the pets, just with the
owners. Sick pet? Owner's problem. So your fear of Cordy dying makes me
think...of you, fearing dying...and that I have read that fear of death is
*the* big block to fully living life.
I think the 6th seal opening is bringing up the core "stuff", and ain't
it grand.
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!! Hey...your deepest resistence...right on the table...not
to mention on the computer screen...way to go, Juls!
I have actually been quite fortunate to have two people in my life die
this past year, because death is now more of "known" and less of a "big
scary..." In both cases I had a sense of connection after the death, a
strong knowing that all was well. So I have a bit less resistence. I don't
know of any ways to deal directly with fear of death other than the way I
have had too...by experience. Though I'm sure one could come up with some
ala Abe. (Well...there's a Buddist practice where you sit on a corpse and
meditate...but I just have a feeling you may not go for that...<ggggg>)
The other death is death of a part of oneself, or a certain sense of
self-identity, which will certainly happen if you go from Juls the
dog-sitter to Juls the really really big time executive. (Hey...I imagine
even if a person were moving from a hovel to a palace, they'd feel a little
nostalgia for the hovel...) I wonder if it would help to think about what
would/will be "lost" when your life changes so much, and work with that?
Maybe some things could be said good-bye to, and some things you could find
a way to keep.
Well, as I said, I don't know if I'm talking to you or not...but I know
I'm talking to me.
Flame sends love to Cordy!
~^^V^^~
