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In a message dated 7/11/99 10:48:03 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
laughingpaws@... writes:

<< SO, this morning as I was driving and my mind was wandering it Hit Me, part
of my resistance to the Farm is that I'm afraid when it gets going Cordy
will die on me as well. He's 2 and 4 months and as neurotic as it sounds
once it occurred to me, it actually made sense. SO, when I got home I took
him for a 2 hour romp to prove to myself that he's Healthy and Vibrant and
Full of Life and Loving Life. But I've still got a ways to go to really let
go of this. I guess my fear is that I will relax and trust that
everything's ok and then something awful will happen, Cordy or my Mom or
Gram will die, or my Dad, something will happen to ruin the perfect moment
or to make me regret going for my dreams. I have evidence of that happening
in my life in the past and it really Sucks when it happens.

So, now that I know what's in my vibe, what can I do to transform it? Any
hints?
>>
Juls
I am seeing you in my minds eye doing it!!! I see the Farm, Cory is executive
vice president. Your family is so happy for you and the days just unfold one
after the other, pure joy in the journey!

In the future things may change, people may come and go, but when you are
living "IT" and doing "IT"...the changes never feel as bad or as horrible as
they seem as we imagine their projected illusion from here today.

You ARE all the joy and happiness you dream of. Looks like a little
furniture rearranging may help...ok lets move believing over here....no,
no...over here. Yes, that is good. OK now lets move allowing right
there..."I know exactly where this goes"...yes...right in line with
believing...oh yes!!! That IS PERFECT.
Terrific...lets bring knowing in and I want it right here.....:)

as so it always is...
Love Nori

<< SO, this morning as I was driving and my mind was wandering it Hit Me,

part

of my resistance to the Farm is that I'm afraid when it gets going Cordy
will die on me as well. <snip> I guess my fear is that I will relax and

trust that

everything's ok and then something awful will happen, Cordy or my Mom or
Gram will die, or my Dad, something will happen to ruin the perfect moment
or to make me regret going for my dreams. <snip>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Juls,

I kept thinking about your post today. What I'm saying is just going to
come out, and it may have some application or it may not. I may be just
talking to myself. So have no qualms about jettisoning what isn't for you.
Now...here goes.

There is a psychic here who says pets always reflect the concerns of
their owners. She doesn't even deal directly with the pets, just with the
owners. Sick pet? Owner's problem. So your fear of Cordy dying makes me
think...of you, fearing dying...and that I have read that fear of death is
*the* big block to fully living life.

I think the 6th seal opening is bringing up the core "stuff", and ain't
it grand.
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!! Hey...your deepest resistence...right on the table...not
to mention on the computer screen...way to go, Juls!

I have actually been quite fortunate to have two people in my life die
this past year, because death is now more of "known" and less of a "big
scary..." In both cases I had a sense of connection after the death, a
strong knowing that all was well. So I have a bit less resistence. I don't
know of any ways to deal directly with fear of death other than the way I
have had too...by experience. Though I'm sure one could come up with some
ala Abe. (Well...there's a Buddist practice where you sit on a corpse and
meditate...but I just have a feeling you may not go for that...<ggggg>)

The other death is death of a part of oneself, or a certain sense of
self-identity, which will certainly happen if you go from Juls the
dog-sitter to Juls the really really big time executive. (Hey...I imagine
even if a person were moving from a hovel to a palace, they'd feel a little
nostalgia for the hovel...) I wonder if it would help to think about what
would/will be "lost" when your life changes so much, and work with that?
Maybe some things could be said good-bye to, and some things you could find
a way to keep.

Well, as I said, I don't know if I'm talking to you or not...but I know
I'm talking to me.

Flame sends love to Cordy!


~^^V^^~

Thanks Vilik,

YOu were speaking Loud and True to me, since I think we've found the
property today and you're right, I think I'm shedding that cocoon and
missing the cosiness of it. I mean I know that I can do what I'm doing,
although this past week has presented me with every aspect of it that I like
the least. :D And being big time CEO person is an unknown in a Big way.
BUt then again 2 years ago I never knew I could do this either, hadn't even
thought of it yet and this worked out well. The property is 200 acres next
to Mauvern Park, an Internationally known equestrian center and home of the
Old Dominion Dog show, second only in size to Westminister and the largest
Outdoor Dog Show in the US and where I go every year to stock up on cheap
raw hides and dog toys. :D The people who own it want to sell the land for
a housing development but the county and city and neighborhood want to keep
it a green area, agricultural and park land, Mauvern wants to keep it as
green land too, so basically I would be the perfect neighbor, if they'll
sell it to us.

And you're right, making dreams come true is terrifying in a way. And no I
wouldn't be into sitting on a corpse and meditating, but Thanks for the
offer. :D And no Cordy's not a match to dying anytime soon. Animals are
our mirrors, I've known that for years, and he is certainly mine and he's
just full of himself. :D

Thanks for the love, it was just a small panic attack, I'm having them a bit
more often these days as the manifestation gets closer and closer.

LOVE YA- Juls