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Before posting here...
/g/AlwaysLearning The intro to this group describes the purpose of the group, and there's a link at the bottom to be read before posting or commenting here. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm trying to be kind to everyone, so that bad advice and hurt feelings are avoided, while everyone's learning more about learning. ___________ text of that page, with the link ________________ NEW MEMBERS: Read at the Group Website link below before posting. How and why does unschooling work? What kind of parents and parenting does it take? What will help, and what will hinder? This is a list for the examination of the philosophy of unschooling and attentive parenting and a place for sharing examined lives based on the principles underlying unschooling. Always Learning will focus on how people learn no matter where in the world they are, rather than on what's legal in any particular country or jurisdiction. This is a moderated group, with trapdoors for the uncooperative. (Not moderated in the advance-approval way, but in the be-nice-to-play way. New members' posts are moderated, and it's good to read several dozen posts before jumping in.) If you've never read any John Holt, his thoughts and writing are behind unschooling. There is a link on that page, too. "I can honestly say that I've grown more as a person, parent and unschooler due to the discussions on this list than on any other list I've been on." http://sandradodd.com/lists/alwayslearning.html -- (This doesn't look like Sandra Dodd's e-mail, but it is one.)
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A good example of the worthlessness of "struggle"
Someone on the internet wrote this: "My struggle is how to find a way to work and homeschool. I know I am great at living a homeschool life, but struggle with the idea of creating or finding my own work life and balancing that." Not an unschooler. It's about people who've been home with their kids for a year, but schools are reopening. The child used to be in a Montessori school. That's not the point, though. I brought it as an example of the use of the word "struggle." In the past few years, its use is increasing, and being used VERY casually, in life-harming ways. For anyone who already knows, you know. :-) For anyone still "struggling" (or unconsciously complaining of struggling), here's some of my collection of examples and thoughts: https://sandradodd.com/struggle There was a topic in this group in 2017, too, about stuggling to learn things. https://sandradodd.com/archive/AlwaysLearning/topic/77900/ Relax, everyone!! :-) https://justaddlightandstir.blogspot.com/search?q=struggle Love, Sandra -- (This might not look like Sandra Dodd's e-mail, but it is one.)
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This group, and what it has done
2
Ten years ago, Marta shared some quotes from this group. That came up in Facebook memories. I went to see about using one for Just Add Light (something Pam Sorooshian wrote, in 2011). I found this explanation, from Chris Ester, of what the group does: " the whole list is almost like some large, multi-lateral thought experiment to hone that definition into a working paradigm." In a little broader context: (me:) > > The experience of someone who doesn't know that there's a difference > between unschooling and radical unschooling is likely to cause confusion > and miss the mark. <<< (Chris:) I think that often there is a misunderstanding of terms. Semantics are important, on this list radical unschooling is specifically defined and the whole list is almost like some large, multi-lateral thought experiment to hone that definition into a working paradigm. It took me a while to understand that. I kept reading and learning and absorbing the meme of the group. __________________________________ And that came from /g/AlwaysLearning/message/63904 I love this: " the whole list is almost like some large, multi-lateral thought experiment to hone that definition into a working paradigm." A large multi-lateral thought experience to hone [radical unschooling] into a working paradigm BUT ALSO people were using those principles at home and bringing back successes, and problems, and questions. It wasn't just a thought experiment, because we were also all DOING it. I know there are still people coming along with young children, and the group isn't as lively as it was in 2011, nor as lively as in 2001 when the group was new. In those days, many in the group had already spent nearly ten years honing their shared ideas into a working set of principles and experiences to share. There are people who shared deeply and generously and then "graduated" or went on to other interests. I miss their words, and humor, and sweetness. Sandra
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Looking for ideas to help my child during a strict lockdown
12
Hello everyone! I hope you're all doing as well as possible, during these pandemic times. We're in Portugal and going through a very strict lockdown at the moment, because things were getting seriously out of control right after Christmas (or maybe it began before Christmas?, I don't know...). Thing is, our family (my husband Bruno, my 11 year old daughter Conchinha and I) was already keeping a very contact-less life prior to this lockdown, because Bruno has to work outside of our home and we always felt like he was/is more at risk of catching the virus and so we could transmit it unknowingly, if we were to be on contact with other people. Anyway, this was just to say that we miss people *a lot* and I think that the stress is finally getting to all of us (or it's been simmering for the past months and now it's showing itself more). Our life didn't change much in the first round of lockdown last year and I think I can say that we're all actually homebodies and love to be at home, so things have been going smoothly. I've tried to bring new stuff into the house (games and new things to explore) and it's been fun. Conchinha is a huge gamer and so her online life has also played a huge part in helping her go through these times, as I know has happened with a lot of other unschooling gamers in this group. ;) She finally felt like she knew enough English during the summer to start chatting with English-speaking online gamers, so her world expanded a bit more (and her English improved tons!), which was so cool to witness. More recently, I feel like the stress is piling up on all three of us. Bruno feels exhausted most of the time and has had his share of scares with the virus and his co-workers testing positive, and then him needing to be isolated for days at home, until he's sure he didn't catch the virus. Conchinha has been having some moments of needing to cry and vent, saying she misses being with people and that she feels tired of all this. She's also been having a rough time going to sleep. Actually, she'll tell me that she doesn't want to go to bed because she'll start thinking about bad stuff (I think her thoughts have to do with her dying or her dad and I dying) and doesn't know how to stop those thoughts. I've tried some things with her (watching Minecraft videos in bed, giving her a massage on her feet or hands or back, telling funny stories and laughing tons, chatting, playing word games), and some nights those ideas work, other nights they don't. Conchinha is 11, turning 12 in May, and she's liking going through hormonal changes too. I know that this can be a phase where some restlessness also plays a part in our lives, so adding that to the pandemic and, voil¨¢, I believe it can be a normal thing for her to be going through this with some stress involved. I guess my request to this awesome group is two-folded: - on one hand, I would like to have some more ideas to help Conchinha with her thoughts and fears (plus, I wonder if there's something I'm not seeing); - on the other hand, I need some ideas to change our days up a bit, because I also feel like we're in a rut. Thank you in advance for any insight and ideas you might have! Marta Venturini Lisbon, Portugal
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Did you have a child born in 2020 or 2021? If so, please consider joining our video chat study!
3
#mainstream
Did you have a child in 2020 or 2021? If so, consider joining our video chat study! Since the COVID-19 pandemic has made virtual social interactions the norm, the Early Learning Project at Georgetown University is studying how infants learn and interact through a screen. We are looking for teams of both parents and grandparents to participate in 4 online surveys, and 4 completed surveys will earn you compensation. Please help us learn more about how families navigate these unprecedented times through a screen. For more information, please visit: https://elp.georgetown.edu/portfolio/videochat/ ( https://elp.georgetown.edu/portfolio/videochat/ ) Want to participate? Sign up at: https://elp.georgetown.edu/sign-up/ ( https://elp.georgetown.edu/sign-up/ )
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Music map
3
Radio garden. It's a globe. It's a map without any markings or borders. http://radio.garden/ It's world music in the most worldwide, up to the moment way I could ever have imagined. I hope it's available everywhere; let me know if it's unavailable where you are, please. I'm very curious about it. In another topic, I wrote more: /g/AlwaysLearning/message/78702 On my friend's facebook page, I shared my first experiences: * * Sandra Dodd ( https://www.facebook.com/SandraDoddABQ?comment_id=Y29tbWVudDoxMDIxNTMxNjkyNjcxMTI5MF8xMDIxNTMxNzcyMjMzMTE4MA%3D%3D&__cft__[0]=AZXu6vMdoMaSG6m-5B-oujYxpXiY6M1_OyyjtQnVvkz6LiK7ust8Sbo-fZGs99V7aE0615CNARoqh2om96TYfVHOWgduJ8xSVaPtG1-M9_p4If49SqJKWHgygMnu1uvIkgGEIvsSiJROAGvdpGZN3yyI&__tn__=R]-R ) Chico, California had a Hawaiian station. I slid over to Hawaii, and heard Country Music. This is very wonderful, Jodi!!! 1 * Like * ¡¤ Reply * ¡¤ 2d ( https://www.facebook.com/jodi.stinebaugh/posts/10215316926711290?comment_id=10215317722331180&__cft__[0]=AZXu6vMdoMaSG6m-5B-oujYxpXiY6M1_OyyjtQnVvkz6LiK7ust8Sbo-fZGs99V7aE0615CNARoqh2om96TYfVHOWgduJ8xSVaPtG1-M9_p4If49SqJKWHgygMnu1uvIkgGEIvsSiJROAGvdpGZN3yyI&__tn__=R]-R ) * Sandra Dodd ( https://www.facebook.com/SandraDoddABQ?comment_id=Y29tbWVudDoxMDIxNTMxNjkyNjcxMTI5MF8xMDIxNTMxNzkxNDM3NTk4MQ%3D%3D&__cft__[0]=AZXu6vMdoMaSG6m-5B-oujYxpXiY6M1_OyyjtQnVvkz6LiK7ust8Sbo-fZGs99V7aE0615CNARoqh2om96TYfVHOWgduJ8xSVaPtG1-M9_p4If49SqJKWHgygMnu1uvIkgGEIvsSiJROAGvdpGZN3yyI&__tn__=R]-R ) I listened to a Darwin (Australia) station playing a Chinese comedienne talking about Ireland. There are 11 Seoul stations all listed together, and I sent a link to a Korean drama discussion group, that plays nothing but sound track music from Korean dramas. 2 * * On my own page, I kept on about it. :-) I was giddy. https://www.facebook.com/SandraDoddABQ/posts/10158232447831374
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Siblings, sharing, whatif?
Site announcements: Siblings, sharing, whatif? https://aboutunschooling.blogspot.com/2021/01/siblings-sharing-what-if.html Also a new page not announced yet in that blog, with a sound file, and notes, and links. https://sandradodd.com/eating/food If Just Add Light and Stir is insufficiently engaging and inspiring, don't forget https://aboutunschooling.blogspot.com It has a randomizer, too. :-) If there's something someone would like for me to expound on here, you can write to me on the side and I'll consider it. My e-mail has become more about my order is ready at Subway, or my cat food from Target has been delivered to my porch. Pretty boring. Not like e-mail used to be ! But I'm willing to work to stir this group up if people want me to. Sandra
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Ol¨¢, Would like to share my thoughts with you today. While my daughter was creating art with lunch, in our unfinished kitchen, i was thinking about the proce\ss that allowed me to be so grateful our life as it is. 10 years ago, I read a text by Sandra Dodd who spoke about her bathroom under construction. maybe I had an image to illustrate because I remember seeing plastics and water leaks. at that time my eldest son was no more than a year old, I had quit my job full time and was still teaching at the university. At the time, it was very important for me to have a high monthly income, a good house, with the works finished and to my taste, beautiful and comfortable furniture. as I no longer earned a full salary, the work on our apartment was about to be finished, the beautiful furniture did not leave the vision board and I was frustrated. At the time, reading about an unfinished bathroom with leaking water because the parents decided that the quality of relationships and the experiences that are lived inside a house are more important than the house itself, gave me a lot to think about. 5 years later, we left the city center, from our completely renovated apartment, with a stunning view, to a small and old rented house, 40 minutes from the center and very cheap. the apartment is still ours, it is being paid to the bank, with the rent of the tenants, and we hope to come to enjoy it one day. For now, we are creating memories in the rented house. Our daughter was born here, we have a small and very wild veggie garden, swing, trampoline, space for dogs, for games, for guests and workawayers in the unfinished and crazy attic. We also have an unfinished kitchen where delicious and creative foods are prepared. I still have days of frustration with the conditions of the house - and I love watching the fixer upper and love it or list it tv shows while I dream of the ideal house - but I always remember that the important thing is the quality of our relationships, it is the love and joy that we create and we feel together at home, not the house itself. Now, when I look at my house, with all its recycled furniture that doesn't always match, the library in the corridor, the porch always wet, the dance of the heaters because it seems that there are always new places to let in the cold, I feel affection and peace. My people feel comfortable at home, they enjoy each space without restrictions. I am not conditioned to a full-time job, to pay for a beautiful house that no one has 100% enjoyed, our bank accounts are balanced - despite the pandemic and economic crisis - our food is good and without budget restrictions, we can pay all the desired toys and games - it is true that they do not have expensive demands - and we may even be able to create wealth to leave to our children (following Dave Ramsey Financial University and learning). No furniture or wall in my life is more important than the people who use it. And, we like to be at home, confinements don't scare us because we're right here, together, we don't need to go out to have fun. This may seem obvious but it is not experienced by everyone and it is so liberating, it feels so good! we didn't get here by chance, not even suddenly. in these 10 years, we have been making choices with a focus on our relationships. At each moment, is it possible for us to choose what will bring us more stress or more peace? what will bring us together or away? what is the most gentle choice or action? what can make our home more interesting, more inspiring? And we continue to choose, every day, always creating and living our nest. Not the most minimalist, decluttered, modern, cleaned or whatever is the tendency now, no, it is our exquisite, messy, noisy and lovely everyday life that sets the tone. I'm so grateful for all the shared experiences that allowed me to think, do better choices and be where i am today. This includes all of your photos and house tours, it was so inspiring no see images of real life houses, not instagram perfect shots. I'm sending a few of our images too. > > > > > > > > > > -- C¨¢tia Maciel
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Janitors, McDonald's and Harvard
8
When I was a kid in school in the 1960s, the threat was "Study, or you'll have to be a janitor." Last I knew in American schools (maybe further out) it had morphed, by the 1990s, into "If you don't do well in school, you'll have to work at McDonald's. If that was the stick, then the carrot was "If you study hard you can go to Harvard." I KNOW that offer (made by people who had no power over the admission process at Harvard) was and still is made to kids in LOTS of countries. I was going to ask the group "Why Harvard?" Is it just easy to say and remember, compared to other universities? So I guess it is a serious question. :-) I did a search in this group, and there are 63 posts that mention Harvard. Some of those might be a quote from another post, but still.... that's a lot. There are 78,687 messages, counting this one. Still, given the topic, I think mentions of Harvard are too numerous. /g/AlwaysLearning/search?q=harvard I have another kind of question, about the size of the world, and of Harvard, but I'll ask it in a comment. Sandra
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Unschooling while living with the grandparents
3
#negativity
Hello, Does anyone here have experience of unschooling young children whilst sharing living space with the older generation? Some background information: My husband and I have 2 children aged 6 and 3. My husband works and I do not. 18 months ago, we moved back to my parents¡¯ after they invited us because they were struggling to pay rent. We wanted to help, but we were reluctant. After some thought, we decided we¡¯d be able to make unschooling a richer experience with the money we would save and we would be in a safer neighbourhood, as well as helping my parents, so we went for it. It wasn¡¯t a completely selfish or a completely selfless decision on anyone¡¯s part. More background: My father was extremely strict when I was growing up. When I was a teen he was emerging from a very serious depression and he slowly, gradually changed. He became more open, less controlling, but he remains judgemental, cynical and controlling to a degree. My mum has not changed much. She is consistently judgemental and cynical (especially so of women, girls and most things feminine), she can be crushingly negative and distant, but also very considerate and generous. They are both very intelligent, thoughtful people with a sense of spirituality and curiosity about many things. My parents both support our decision not to send our children to school, but they don¡¯t truly ¡°get¡± unschooling, because they haven¡¯t read much (and I don¡¯t think I should throw my weight around and exhort them to). So things are mostly peaceful. My parents have been quite rude in voicing their opinions on the children¡¯s interests and passions (mostly when they believe we are out of earshot) - they bring snobbery and negativity to the children¡¯s enjoyment of anything that includes bright colourful children¡¯s TV, to the point where my eldest does not feel comfortable watching with my dad in the room (if I leave to make food, put some washing in, go to the toilet etc). I was inspired by Sandra¡¯s website to bring our tv down from the attic and have it in our bedroom (we share a bedroom with the girls). It¡¯s worked well, the girls can watch tv and play switch to their heart¡¯s content and my eldest - who moves her body a lot while watching - can cavort on our beds quite safely, but... Lately I¡¯ve been feeling annoyed about this decision, even though it¡¯s seemingly working well. It does feel unfair that we have been flexible while my dad remains rigid and now enjoys half of the shared living space all to himself during a national lockdown. It also reminds me of spending my childhood in my room hiding my joy from judgement and although some of that is my personal history and I have some work to do, it¡¯s also partly the reality for my children, which makes me worry if they are getting a good enough unschooling experience. I¡¯d love some advice on how others have made multi-generation households work with unschooling. Can I make an unschooling nest within a house that contains some judgement, cynicism and negativity from grandparents? Will mine and my husband¡¯s positivity and joyful embrace cancel out their sneers and snobbery?
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To elucidate, my son and I have always been very close. He is very loving still, but in growing up, he is changing. I applaud his ability to grow and experiment with new beliefs and ideas. Unfortunately, for me, he gets very angry if I express an idea that is different. He is amazing in that, though he gets very upset and insulting, he is over it very quickly and hold no grudges at all. In addition, he always apologizes on his own, and he specially tells me he doesn't mean the very cruel things he says when he is upset. As you may surmise. I am not as good as he. His comments really hurt, and I allow his words to upset me. I have told myself that I will choose not to let what he says hurt me, but in all candor, I have not been successful to date. He is wonderful to apologize. Unfortunately, he does the same thing over and over. We talk when things are calmer, and he always tells me he wants to work together. I ask him if there are things I can do to do better? Alternatively, is there something I can avoid doing? Or Does he want anything from me? His answer is that there is nothing I am doing that I need to change and that he wants to work together. He says that the next time when something comes up, he will talk about it if he disagrees with my thoughts. Alas, it is perpetually "ground hogs day " in our home, as this repeats at least several times a day. I want a healthy and honest relationship with my son, and i want to be someone my son can get along with. Thank you for this opportunity to reach out to you. I want to do something soon before I ruin the incredible relationship we have/had. With gratitude
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New writing from Deb Lewis, commissioned
5
Because I love Deb Lewis¡¯s facility with twisting English into balloon dogs if she feels like it, I asked her to write something with parts I provided. So it¡¯s not ¡°Deb Lewis writing¡± in the best sense, but when I put it on the page where it will live, I will link to my Deb Lewis collection for sure. :-) Some of you will probably see right away which page of mine this is destined for. Maybe (I¡¯m thinking) I will build links into the code of that page and then hotlink the heck out of this: _____________________________________ Dear Sandra, I struggled with your request for this intro. It's been a real battle. Left to my own devices, I wouldn't have catered to your every whim. I'm not some version of a short order cook, after all. I shouldn't have to be at your beck and call. I'm not your slave. I don't owe you anything. The world doesn't revolve around you. It's like you want everything handed to you on a silver platter. As if you have to be waited on hand and foot. Well, I suppose there¡¯s no sense in throwing a fit. I'll finish what I started. And about your readers, they're glued to their screens, taking the easy way out. They've turned into zombies. You could talk until you're blue in the face, but you'll never be able to do enough. If you give them an inch, they'll take a mile. They are manipulative, and you need to teach them you are not their puppet. You might have to resort to bribery to get them to stop fussing and fighting. They've seriously got the gimmes. You could literally stuff good information down their throats, and they'd still be bouncing off the walls, all hyped up. You could leave them to fend for themselves but then they'd be at each other's throats. They really feel if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. This will spoil your appetite for helping others, but it serves you right. I'm at my wit's end. Whatever. You do you. Just remember, all things in moderation. Namaste Deb __________________ So fun!! Sandra
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The difference between me and Joyce Fetteroll
Once someone threw a rant, on Unschooling Discussion (another group that was on yahoo) and said that unschooling was hedonism gone berserk. Part of Joyce's response: You've created an image that will be hard for us to replace by what really happens in our lives. And because you've created such a repulsive image you're not going to want to look closer at what we do which makes trying to get you to see what really is going on even harder. It takes 1000s of words to explain away a false impression. It may take 10s of 1000s of words -- in fact it may never happen -- if someone is determined to hold onto that false impression. It takes far far fewer words if someone is open and willing to listen and learn why and how others believe what they believe. ______________________ There was more, by Joyce, and all logical and analytical. Joyce's whole unschooling/parenting site is logical and analytical. https://www.joyfullyrejoycing.com/ To that same rant, some of one of my responses: You really don't know what you're talking about. You're spewing embarrassing meanness for no advantage. It doesn't change what we believe or are doing, and it doesn't make you a better person nor does it make you seem intelligent. _________________________ I like to think that lots of people have benefited from bouncing between my "What!?" and Joyce's "Surely..." over the years. :-) I came across those things looking for a current and workable link to go with a page (not a new page, but all the links to yahoogroups need to be changed, as I come to them). Because on my unschooling/parenting/wheelbarrow/recipe/whatever site, I saved the whole thing about someone accusing us of being hedonists. :-) And now it has a link that works. https://sandradodd.com/lazyhedonists Sandra
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Helping kids be respectful
11
I hope people will help brainstorm this, but new members who aren't longtime unschoolers, hang back and just read. There were two names. I took one out and changed one, so it could be anonymous. I don't want anyone to find this after the kid is respectfully reformed and think badly of him! :-) ______________________ My nearly 13 y/o is treated with respect and fully as a person by us. As he¡¯s grown and we¡¯ve more fully understood what this means And looks like, I have realized how much this HASN'T been the case in our generational family. I don¡¯t remember feeling disrespected when I was young, but I DO VERY MUCH remember being treated as dramatic and often outright ignored for/when desperately trying to express my feelings. Later I was often reprimanded and even grounded for attempting to speak my (highly unpopular) truths about my step father, for instance. As my son has grown I¡¯ve seen it in more aspects of our larger family dynamics and I¡¯m so sorry for not understanding earlier when my big kids (27,29,31) were growing. My question is there is now some confusion on my son's part & my own what this equality looks like at times. My son said ¡°if I respect someone I treat them as my equal¡± an excellent perspective. However this was his explanation while I tried to discuss his impulsively telling his best friends mom (also radical unschooling) ¡°to shut the fuck up Sally¡± over the boys Skype call. She understandably was angry and let the boys know and me. I¡¯m looking for suggestions of ways to both explain & model the fine line between being equal and WHY this is not acceptable. Beyond it not being appropriate to speak to your friends mom like this. The WHY of this. Thank you
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Making progress
I've created a new page of eight-year-old parts. :-) https://sandradodd.com/progress If you find any typos, glitches or bad links, please let me know. It's not what I had planned to do tonight, but it seemed important. I hope the very-quietness of this group is because people are busy, and not that you're all sorry we ever moved away from yahoogroups. :-) Responses can be good! (Good responses are the best. :-) ) Sandra
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Additions to pages on Seeing, Etiquette and NVC
https://aboutunschooling.blogspot.com/2020/10/seeing-etiquette-nvc.html SUNDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2020 Seeing, Etiquette, NVC Short, still, page on seeing. I hope to expand it, but it's good as is, too! https://sandradodd.com/seeing A passage added to the page on etiquette for unschoolers https://sandradodd.com/etiquette.html Problems with "Nonviolent Communication" (NVC), for Unschooling A couple of additions and link repairs on my page explaining why NVC isn't good for unschooling https://sandradodd.com/nvc photo (a link) by Colleen Prieto
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New York Times Opinion Piece on Unschooling
2
#mainstream
If you have a NYT subscription, you can read this there, but I've brought the text to share. https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/25/opinion/sunday/unschooling-homeschooling-remote-learning.html I thought it was pretty good. Someone else was irritated by it the first time she read it and maybe less the second time. Probably an editor named it, and not the author, but I don't know. The title is a quote from the article. Opinion ¡®When You Get Into Unschooling, It¡¯s Almost Like a Religion¡¯ The movement might help us deal with the problems posed by remote learning. By Molly Worthen Contributing Opinion Writer Sept. 25, 2020 Tiersa McQueen vividly remembers the morning she woke up and found her four children teaching themselves geometry. She discovered them standing at the whiteboard, measuring angles and studying shapes they had traced. ¡°They wanted to know what the shapes were, so they looked them up, wrote down the names, then started going down the rabbit hole of online information,¡± she told me. The McQueens are unschoolers. The children ¡ª a 14-year-old, a 13-year-old and 9-year-old twins ¡ª learn at home, but with far more flexibility than traditional home-schooling families. Their parents spurn curriculums, textbooks, tests and grades. Instead they do their best to follow the children¡¯s natural curiosity, their impulse to drop what bores them and investigate whatever captivates them, engaging in ¡°self-directed education¡± at their own pace. During this long season of involuntary at-home learning, what parent hasn¡¯t dreamed of moments like Ms. McQueen¡¯s morning discovery? As parents struggle to keep up with their own jobs while kids work through packets of worksheets and iPad apps in the next room, it is tempting to hope for a silver lining: the emancipation of children¡¯s impulses to explore the world independently, to find ways to answer their own questions. Unschoolers, who have long occupied an obscure corner of the home-schooling community, have suddenly become intriguing, less like alien life-forms and more like your cool neighbor who managed to stay relaxed through the monthslong shortages of toilet paper and child care. Unschooling is a pedagogy premised on letting your kid sleep in, read whatever they like (or not) and learn math (or not) through baking, elaborate Lego creations or wandering the internet rather than working through a textbook. This approach is unlikely to work for most families. Even some who believe wholeheartedly in the idea of unschooling struggle with it in practice. But unschoolers¡¯ choice to take on that struggle should compel the rest of us to face big questions about motivation, coercion and the purpose of education during this unusual school year and beyond. It¡¯s easy to assume that teaching children at home requires economic privilege, a stay-at-home-parent who can afford to focus full time on education. In our new, quarantined Gilded Age, wealthy families are hiring private tutors just like their Victorian forebears. Yet unschooling families are economically diverse. When the psychologists Peter Gray and Gina Riley published a 2013 survey of about 230 unschooling families, they found ¡°a wide range in terms of socioeconomic strata.¡± ¡°There¡¯s a narrative that makes people feel, if they don¡¯t have resources, they can¡¯t do it, and that¡¯s not true,¡± Ms. McQueen told me. ¡°I¡¯m doing it, and I¡¯m not affluent.¡± She works 8 to 5 at the headquarters of a retail chain in Bradenton, Fla. Her husband works two jobs, nights and weekends, at a convenience store and a grocery store. Fear of school shootings and concern over ¡°the racial bias in schools, the school-to-prison pipeline,¡± as well as many schools¡¯ stunted curriculum in Black history, drove the McQueens to begin their experiment with at-home learning in 2015, she said: ¡°We wanted to educate our children based on what we value, versus what the school was teaching them.¡± Ms. McQueen also wants to preserve her kids from the kind of traditional education that, she says, sapped her own self-assurance. ¡°If you¡¯re taking orders all the time, your confiden
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Pam Laricchia's World of Lots of Unschooling Stuff
That's not the name... it's Living Joyfully. Still... Once in a while I want to remind people to subscribe to this e-mail, which is always richly full and fun. _____________________ Happy Sunday! It's been a (happily) busy September and I haven't managed to send out a note yet! I'm looking forward to connecting with you more regularly again. If circumstances have changed and you're no longer interested in exploring unschooling with me, you're welcome to unsubscribe by clicking here. And there's always an unsubscribe link at the bottom of my emails. Being here is always a choice! And as always, I hope there's a helpful nugget or two in here to nourish you on your unschooling journey. Let's explore! EXPLORING UNSCHOOLING PODCAST ~ sharing unschooling stories and insights ~ It's been a wonderful month on podcast and I hope you have the opportunity to check out the new episodes, whether through audio, video, or text! EU241: Exploring Race, Racism, and Diversity in Unschooling with Erika Davis-Pitre I rebroadcasted Erika's 2017 episode, Unschooling and Diversity, earlier this year and she graciously offered to return and answer listener questions. The result is this amazing episode with so many actionable steps and layers to peel back for all of us on this unschooling journey as we explore the roles we can play to address systemic racism and biases. Here's one of the many powerful insights Erika shares in response to a question about "teaching" our unschooling kids about anti-racism: If you¡¯re finding yourself having to teach something, it means you¡¯re not living it. Your living it is the example that teaches. If you have to pull it out and put it in its own special category, that¡¯s where your work is, figuring out ¡®Why isn¡¯t that my life?¡¯ She takes each question and, in true unschooling fashion, explores the deeper questions that lie beneath. Here are the links for the episode: SHOW NOTES | TRANSCRIPT | YOUTUBE EU242: Deschooling with Nadia Joshua Nadia and I have a delightful conversation as we dive into her family's move to unschooling and how they navigated moving to one income, her deschooling journey and exploring the need to go and do, her parenting journey and learning to honour both their daughters and their individual personalities, and lots more. I imagine many of us can relate to how she described the beginning of her journey: The first six months of homeschooling was just crazy. I signed up to every group going. The calendar was just chockablock. We would go to gym, we would go to the science center, we would go to home-ed groups and beach school, forest school¡ªevery kind of school. It was ¡®not school¡¯ school. After six months, I remember saying to Sy, ¡°I am exhausted.¡± And then I started hearing about deschooling and unschooling. And I'm like, 'Well, what's that?'¡± It's common for parents to choose to take their kids out of school yet still feel compelled to "keep busy" and choose "learning environments" that look a lot like school. It's understandable because that's what we think learning looks like! It's also why deschooling is SO important and valuable for parents. Here are the links for the episode: SHOW NOTES | TRANSCRIPT | YOUTUBE EU243: Parenting Shifts with Sarah Peshek Sarah is an unschooling mom of three and she shares the details of her journey and her parenting shifts from control to connection. Her wonderful insights and experiences are so helpful in really pulling out why this lifestyle is so amazing! How unschooling encourages us to re-center around the person and parent we want to be, with deep, meaningful connections with our children and a deeper understanding of ourselves. Here's just one of her great insights: I had it in my head that when I gave up that control piece, I was going to lose power somehow or lose myself. And it was the opposite. Really, I gained my own true strength giving up that battling. I really found my own self and it had been hiding underneath all the noise and chaos before. If you've grown up steeped in conventional thinking, the idea of finding true strength by giving
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Slowly, right away
#deschooling
Deschooling.... :-) You can't wait, and you can't rush it. I've added this to the new "tension" page: Deschooling is like changing gears. Go slowly. Go deliberately. SandraDodd.com/gradualchange Don't goof around. Don't stall. SandraDodd.com/doit How can both be true? The clutch and the gas.
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Oddness about my e-mail address (was Re: Oddness about money)
aelflaed@... is me. I have two accounts into this group, because my longtime e-mail was moved into my gmail account, but now it's secondary. My g-mail mailing address is my default one (long story) and so PLEASE anyone who might be expecting e-mail from me, put it in your address book with my real name so you'll know the mail is from me! Thanks. aelflaed@... To my friends from The Society for Creative Anachronism, it will look just like me, and most can even spell it, but I know to most unschoolers it will look like gibberish. It's a medieval English name I used for years, in the club. It's a cousin of some names that are still around: Alfred, Elsie.... I'm not thinking of another one right now, but there are a few. They used that weird curly combo of a and e that older writings still half-use for aesthetic and archaeology and suchlike. Alfred had two of those, long ago. AElsie only had one, I'm pretty sure. It's called an ash. One site says "The letter ? ¡®ash¡¯ is an amalgamated letter roughly representing a sound between ¡®a¡¯ and ¡®e¡¯. Two letters were borrowed from the runic alphabet: ? 'thorn', and ? 'wynn', and one was adapted from the Latin alphabet ? ¡®eth¡¯. Eth and thorn both represent the th sound, and wynn represents w. Because wynn has exactly the same sound as our modern w, a lot of editors just use w to represent wynn, and we are building in a facility to enable you to replace the wynn with a w in the edited texts." If AElflaed had stuck around as a name, it would probably be spelled "Elfled" now, but it didn't, so it isn't. Maybe it would be "Alfled" as "Alfred" went, but who knows. What's important is, please save this, especially if I owe you a thank-you note. aelflaed@... Sanra
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Sat 8:39am
Sat 8:39am