Re: Sacrifices (good and bad)
Thank you for the reminder!? We already had a conversation about our state law and how even if she isn't drinking, if she's with people who are she could potentially lose her license, but I didn't
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Katie Robles
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#78969
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Re: Sacrifices (good and bad)
I loved the joy of your post, and this paragraph reminded me of Adventures in Babysitting (a good film from the old days) and of Ferris Beuller's Day Off, and of less joyful "adventure"
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Sandra Dodd
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#78968
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warning/reminder Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
-=-The thing that seemed to make the biggest change was giving her a special set for her own to use as she wishes. I had just that set- it was my grandpa's, the pieces are beautifully realistic,
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Sandra Dodd
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#78967
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Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
I didn't get to what I was building up to. :-)? Sorry.
When Keith and I had a brief, loud argument, one of us might've been rational, but neither one was.
In our regular partnership if one of us is
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Sandra Dodd
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#78966
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Re: Sacrifices (good and bad)
I read this in the linked pages and was excited.? Our oldest just got her learners permit yesterday.? She's 15 1/2 (she's not currently unschooling, but was for many years, and two of her siblings
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Katie Robles
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#78965
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Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
I wanted to comment on the topic title. :-)
Putting quotation marks on "irrational" does suggest the mom knows that a four year old couldn't be "rational," or that it's something the mom considers
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Sandra Dodd
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#78964
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Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
We have little grandkids over sometimes, who are 2, 3, 4, 5 years old (the current ages of the younger four of five¡ªthe eldest is 13).
We do NOT have the energy we had!? Keith is better with these
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Sandra Dodd
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#78963
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Re: Sacrifices (good and bad)
This is linked, but I want to highlight it:
"I deserve..." or "ALL children deserve..." is a signpost taking you down a brambly path.
http://sandradodd.com/deserve
If you're ever wishing there were
By
Sandra Dodd
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#78962
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Sacrifices (good and bad)
This is not a beginning topic, but I cleaned up an older page, and created a newer one of existing parts. :-)
Those both lead to "Cake," which is also mostly about sacrifice.
Magical sacrifices (not
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Sandra Dodd
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#78961
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Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
These posts seem most helpful to me when there is a progress update, so wanted to provide that.
This link was incredibly helpful! https://sandradodd.com/voices
Thank you for referencing it.
In light
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Lollizah
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#78960
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Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
No one's getting perfect, but "better" is easily doable!
Approximation of Sandra¡¯s words from a decade or more ago (paraphrased): if you can pause long enough to make two choices before you react,
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Kate Dudek
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#78959
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Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
-=-.... flooded with defensive scripts-=-
I forgot to include the link to ideas about sorting through those repeating loops¡ªsometimes in our own voices, but very often in voices of older relatives
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Sandra Dodd
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#78958
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Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
Sandra, I am so grateful that you have pointed this out! After reading the link ( https://sandradodd.com/issues/ridiculous ) I am horrified to think I could have gone my whole marriage with this
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Lollizah
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#78957
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Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
I doubt you're the reason she prefers you to her dad right now.
Lots of people have baggage from their childhoods. Somewhere between most and all.? Learning to notice "the voices in your head," and
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Sandra Dodd
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#78956
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Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
None; she's four years old.
Way too many words.? A mountain of words too many, for a four year old.? Too many for an adult who hasn't paid you for counseling.
I despise those "active listening"
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Sandra Dodd
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#78955
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Edited
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Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
I'm working on a page on my site that has a quote from me, in? this group. :-)
"It's not so important to talk to a child about those things as to respond to the child with the awareness that
By
Sandra Dodd
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#78954
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Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
I didn't realize I hadn't mentioned empathy with DD until Cara pointed it out. I do empathize.
When DD is angry to the point of rage, I will tell her "I know it's hard to feel out of control and I
By
Lollizah
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#78953
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Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
He should not be hit, especially to the point where he feels like he has to
protect himself.
If you haven't been able to proactively prevent the situations where she
starts hitting, a firm "No
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Katie Robles
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#78952
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Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
What you said about processing my own anger in an outward way so that she can see how to do it- that is a great point! Here everyone around her are internal processors and she probably just thinks we
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Lollizah
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#78951
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Re: "Irrational" outbursts of a 4yr old
#siblings
#partnership
I wonder how she would respond to either you or her sibling playing a second game of chess with her (with whatever rules she wants) while you play with the older child.
I have never used it, but i
By
amy greene
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#78950
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