It is time for my little contest to end. There were too few participants for
it too be real fun but it was fun non the less.
Below I am reposting each entry, or at least the ones that I received.
Please vote for your favorite by sending an email direct to me
(jacksoti@...) and on the subject line place your vote.
The winner of the most likely answer will receive, fresh from my LONG term
storage humidor, a four year old Vegas Robinia Unicos (this is Cubas
"newest" brand. Made in the same factory as the Monte Cristo)
The winner of the most absurd answer will receive, fresh from my "what the
hell is it" humidor, an unlabeled could be a Cohiba could be a Tampa Jewel.
I will count what ever votes come in tomorrow night and the winner(s) will
receive their prizes by the weekend.
Kendal
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------
The most likely entries:
From: "Morris G. Hill" <mgh@...>
Well, I'm not a cigar smoker, but I'll guess anyway. It's possible you
still have a rod noise, caused by excess wear on a crankshaft journal, or by
the big end of a rod having been pounded oval, or both. The new bearing
will help, but if the tolerances are excessive, your engine will gradually
knock louder until new bearings are needed again, and the cycle will repeat
until the underlying cause is corrected. I wouldn't be surprised if this
was the cause of your original knock, or was made worse by it. This theory
can be roughly tested by using "Plastigage" string per the instructions with
the kit, or can be accurately tested by measuring the journals with an
outside micrometer and measuring the big ends of the rods (without the
bearings installed) for roundness with an inside micrometer. Except in
extreme cases, a machinist can correct either situation, and it would be
routine to resurface both areas in a full professional rebuild. For a
stopgap, avoid rpm's and throttle positions where you can actually hear the
knock, and use thicker single-weight oil to cushion the parts. In my
opinion, you should be using such single-weight oil all the time in your
Willys engine. You can also add a can of "miracle" oil thickener (several
brands) -- the ones which promise to "stop oil burning." Twice (about 25
years apart) I developed rod knocks in different Willys engines (4 and 6
respectively), and both times I had recently begun to use top-brand 10-30
multiweight oil (synthetic the second time) as an experiment. These were
only times I've departed from the advice an old-time Willys guy gave me,
which was to never, ever use multiweight oil in these engines. I use
multiweight in my modern car and in the Chevy 283 in my pickup with zero
problems, but the Willys engines get 30 weight in winter and 50 in summer.
In theory it shouldn't be this way, and I'm sure there are people who use
multiweight oil in Willys engines all the time and have never had a problem.
I drive mine pretty hard on the freeway, and in this situation, my Willys
engines seem to do much better with single-weight oil.
From: Rick48CJ2A@...
I'm shooting for both prizes. :-) but I'm not giving up my OD. Here's my
real answer. I think what you are hearing is predetonation caused by the
timing being too far advanced. Your timing marks could be off, so you might
want to check to be sure your TDC is on. Then set your timing correctly.
Since this thing was from the local automotive school (If I remember
correctly) they may have pulled the timing chain and could have it off one
tooth. If the bolts haven't been touched then that isn't what happened. If
they have been removed then you can check your valve timing using the same
procedure I listed last night for the L-134. The measurements are the same.
I'll try to write tonight about my outrageous answer to your problem. It
will take a little more effort and creativity.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------
Most Absurd Answer entry:
From: Ron Cox <radigan@...>
Kendall,
I've got a very doable solution... Turn up your radio a bit and you won't
even hear it anymore!!!
Ron Cox
Andover, Kansas
62-230 PU
From: Rick48CJ2A@...
As I said, I'm after both prizes, so here's part 2 for absurdity.
Kendal,
I'm been studying this problem of yours for some time now, and with the help
of some local Trekies, we think we may have the answer.
It is a little know fact that the technology for Willys vehicles originated
with the finding of a wrecked spacecraft of unknown origin. The government
concocted this story of designing and building the MA jeep in less than six
months to cover up the discovery. Look at how well the thing is made. It
screams ET origins. It was a good thing that we found the ship instead of
Hitler or we would have been in real trouble during the war.
Now how does this tie into your problem? What we didn't realize was that the
extraterrestrials (The Borg) that wrecked the ship were using a joined
technology. It combined both mechanical motivation, with psychic
communications metallurgy. Now every Willys vehicle in the world is tied
directly into the subconscious minds of this ancient alien race. For years
now they have been trying to attract our attention through our Willys
vehicles. Take note of the now common "Jeep Wave". This is a subliminal
psychic message of greetings.
They spent the prior 10 years draining enough oil from your transfer case to
cause the massive squeal above 45 MPH. They even duped your mechanic into
believing the problem was with the tranny, when you knew all along that it
was the transfer case. This was to allow them enough time to communicate
with you, but you ignored them. My Gosh Man, they were screaming at you so
loud that you couldn't even hear later, and you just ignored them. Then you
thwarted their well-intentioned attempts by changing out those roller
bearings.
They are now attempting to communicate directly with you Kendal, through
coded messages tapped out by your engine. As plan B they had also spent
years pounding out your rod bearings until they were able to make audible
signals. Note the audible sound resembling a movie projector. Hello! Is
anyone home! This is obviously a thinly veiled suggestion for you to watch
"Close Encounters" and "ET". As usual you ignored this message and changed
the rod bearings and thus defeated their next efforts. Finally they threw
the timing off to cause predetonation at precisely the right time required to
send this complex coded message to you. But again you messed that up by
readjusting the timing. If you keep this up you will never have
communications with intelligent life. Haven't you realized by now that there
had be some outside force at work, acting against your futile attempts to
repair your Willys. Give in to them. Set down and do as I have. Talk to
your Willys. Give it a name. Spend time with it, so it doesn't get jealous.
Allow them to assimilate you. Resistance is futile. :-)
Rick S (TX)
How's that for absurd?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------
And finally, one classifies for both and as usual it is:
From: "K. R." <kr98664@...>
Okay, you asked for theories. This may take a while,
so get a cup of coffee and get comfy.
Let's start at the beginning. First the earth cooled.
Fast forward several millenia to the 1950's. Some
lucky guy drove home a new Willys 4WD wagon. Most
likely his wife wondered why he brought home such a
utilitarian vehicle when sleeker cars abounded. But
he had a plan. Over the next decade or so, this wagon
bounced over many a trail on numerous happy camping
trips. Piled high in the back were coolers, camping
gear, sleeping bags and who knows what else. Picture
in your mind some tired kids, smelling of pine trees
and campfires, heading back to town asleep in back on
top of this big comfy pile. Dear old Dad was at the
wheel while everybody else sawed logs. This scene was
repeated many times over the kids' childhood.
Before you knew it, the kids were too cool to be go
camping anymore. Maybe they still wanted to go, but
wanted to be with their friends more. After a few
years, Mom and Dad just didn't have much need for
their dear old wagon anymore. After all, times were
changing and it couldn't even travel at freeway
speeds. It had barely skipped a beat over the years,
but now it was getting tired and needed an engine
overhaul and some other spendy things. Reluctantly it
was traded in for something new and shiny. The wagon
sat on the back of the dealer's lot for some time.
Those kids today probably wonder some times what ever
happened to Dad's old wagon.
Over the years the wagon changed hands several more
times. Each time it was sold as it was facing some
expensive work, as is often the case. As a vehicle
moves down the food chain, it receives less and less
care. There is a period of a good many years between
where a vehicle is just an old rattletrap and the time
when it finally is considered a desireable classic.
During that slow downward slide, rigs are kept alive
on a shoestring budget. If it runs okay but not
perfect, that is all the owner could ask for.
Eventually, it made it's way to the young son of the
last owner. He tore it apart in zeal for a rebuild of
the venerable flathead. Let's just say he was on a
tight budget, too. It should have been bored over
with oversize pistons. Instead it just got new rings.
A few more corners were cut here and there. The idea
was he could come back in a few years when he had more
time and money and do it right. Well, it drove more
or less all right, so he never did come back.
He wasn't paying attention and got married and moved
to the suburbs. The wagon was really starting to show
it's age by now. It wasn't driven very often,
spending most of it's time next to the driveway. A
further half-hearted attempt was made at an engine
overhaul but it was never finished. Then one day, the
husband heard those words every man fears: "Get that
thing out of the driveway."
With much sadness, he put it back together in a
haphazard manner, just enough to drive it to the
junkyard. Surely nobody in their right mind would
want a tired, worn-out relic of early American
History. Then the guy saw the ad in the paper, where
he could donate it to the automotive class at the
local school.
His wife was happy, it was gone. The guy was at least
relieved, he got out of it for no extra money. The
school was maybe not so happy. No school needed a rig
almost 50 years old for teaching folks how to work on
new cars. Once again, it sat in the back of the lot,
awaiting an uncertain fate.
Fast forward again. Kendal Jackson is having his
morning cup of coffee, perusing the newspaper. His
famous words to his wife, "Hey look at these cars at
this auction. You know, they might need some work but
I bet I could get a good deal there." His loving and
patient wife had just seen him fix the can opener the
other day and so was in no position to argue with him.
When a woman is under the spell of a mechanical
genius, sometimes you can get away with anything.
Well, I think we all know the rest of the story.
Kendal is now the proud owner of "Somebody Else's
Abandoned Project." His daily routine consists of
trying to find ways to hide from his wife just how
much expensive work the wagon will really need. When
he did all his rod bearings, he had to tell her he was
detailing the undercarriage. While wrestling with a
drill on a broken EZ-out, he had to tell her he was
polishing some stuff under the hood. For extra money
for parts, he has been going to the plasma center.
(Don't knock it, you get free cookies, too.)
My clairvoyant diagnosis of the engine trouble still
besetting Kendal today? How about the centrifugal
advance sticking in one spot. (Oh Criminy! Vern's
back to his distributor phase again. That's it, I'm
unsubscribing.)
You know, I'd do just about anything for one of those
fine cigars. I don't know if this sad tale belongs
under the heading of most likely answer or just most
absurd.
Regards,
Vern
48 CJ2A in Vancouver, WA
Kendal Jackson
--It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm
really quite busy--
