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THE POSTMAN
So you have heard of the latest restaurant trend? Called
"dark kitchens"? The latest is to do away with
dining rooms, cash registers and tables. This is due to
a sudden explosion of delivery aps, such as Ueber eats
and etc. Back in the day, as a family, when ours
were little, we all enjoyed going out on a Friday night
to someplace like Burger King... we all consumed a meal
together. Apparently today's families do not seem to
appreciate the value of such an activity. Seems as if
times have changed. I somehow got old.
Enjoy the jokes!
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There was a husband who was in the habit of taking the family dog for
a nice long walk each evening. ?It was good exercise for both of them,
his wife felt, and the dog became so used to the routine that it
positively drooled to be taken out on schedule every night. ?
When her husband was sick one evening, the wife took the dog out instead. ?
To her surprise the dog pulled vigorously at the leash and led her around
the block to a house around the corner and began to scratch at the door. ?
A female voice called out, "I won't be a minute, darling." ?
Soon, the door was opened by an attractive young woman in a negligee,
and the dog dashed in straight to a dish of meat that was waiting for him --
obviously as usual. ?
?
Three old guy friends were chatting late into the night and eventually they went to sleep
along side to each other. Morning came! ?The guy who slept next to the window was awaken by
the morning sun and said, "Gee, I had a great wet dream last night. I dreamt of this young
and beautiful lady and she was jerking me off all night."?The guy who slept on the other side
said, "That's funny, I had a similar dream last night. I dreamt of the beach in Hawaii. I met a
beautiful blond and she was giving me the best hand-job ever!" ?
The guy who slept in the middle was awaken by the conversation. ?
"Morning guys", he said. "Did you guys sleep well? I sure did. I dreamt of the time where we
all went downhill skiing in the mountains. It was great!"?
There are three types of sex in a marriage. The first one is Kitchen Sex. This is when
you are newlyweds, and you're still having fun, so you do it anywhere, anytime - but mostly
the kitchen. The second type is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have settled down a bit and
probably have kids, so you can't do it anywhere except the bedroom. The third type of sex
is Hallway Sex. This is when you pass each other in the hall and say, ''Screw you.''
But there's also a fourth kind called Courtroom Sex. This is when you are getting a divorce
and you try to screw each other in public.?
My Blonde sister is a waitress at a hotel. One morning a customer was sitting at the
table in the dining area, and said to my sister: "I'd like a cup of coffee, no cream." ?
My sister went to get the coffee, but after 2 minutes came back to ask, "I'm sorry sir,
we are out of cream. Would you want your coffee without milk instead?" ?
A very conservative doctor was consulted by an older man who wasn't feeling very well.?? ?
After a thorough medical checkup, the doctor said, "Mr. Kramer, I can't find anything
specifically wrong with you.? I have only one suggestion...that you...eh, eh...
give up some of your love life." ?
There was a long pause, and then Mr. Kramer said, "O.K., Doc. But which half should I give up:?
thinking about it or talking about it?" ?
This morning I was standing next to a very fat fellow at a urinal when suddenly for no
discernible reason he confided in me that he "hadn't seen his thing in 15 years". ?
Not knowing why he suddenly decided to confide such personal information to a complete
stranger, and not knowing what else to say and wanting to be helpful, ?
I said, "Why don't you diet?" ?
Giving me a surprised sideways stare, he said, "Dye it? What color is it now?" ?
??
ON THE WEB
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pansexual
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dominated
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the craps table
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the time of your life
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night shift workers
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a stork
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kids eat free
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Jack and Jill
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single mothers
