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After writing a simple equation on the board the teacher asked if anyone could solve the problem.
Little Johnny walked up to the board, erased it and said, ¡°Problem Solved.¡±
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I recently came into a lot of money...
and that's why I got fired from the bank.
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Thought Of The Day:
It's A Parked Taxi
¡°A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.¡±
- Groucho Marx
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My house had been burglarized and the police were taking a report.
The policeman asked me, "Have you lived here all your life?"
I replied, "Hopefully, not yet!"
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Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argument.
"Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one.
"There be two pints in a quart," confirmed the proprietor.
They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order.
"Two pints please, miss, and the bartender offered to buy them for us."
The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?"
"That's right," he called back, "two pints!"
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Thought Of The Day:??Recognizing the Power
¡°Recognizing power in another does not diminish your own.¡±
¨D Joss Whedon
Received from aJokeaDay.
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Mind Reading Lessons: A Hilarious Fair Encounter ?
One day a young man was visiting the fair, over to one side was a small tent, with a sign that said "For 50 dollars I'll teach you to be a mind reader!? Apply within."
So the young man thought that he'd give it a go, and went inside.? Behind a small table inside was an old man, who looked up when the young man entered and says, "Ah, you must be here for the mind reading lessons."
"Well, yes" the young man said.
"Well, follow me, and I'll give you your first lesson." Then the old man goes out the back of the tent and walks over to a hose, which he picks up one end of.? "Here, hold this hose."
"Why?" said the young man.
"It's part of the lesson," replies the old man, "Now, look in the end and tell me what you see."
So the young man looks into the end of the hose, and only sees darkness.? "I don't see anything," he tells the old man.
Just then the old man turns on a tap, and the hose shoots water into the young mans face, "I had a feeling you'd do something like that!" the young man shouts at the old man.
"You are now a mind reader!" the old man replies, "That'll be 50 dollars."
Written by and received from Pastor Tim.
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Cybersalt News?
Oh look, Chicken Thursday!
Grandma Cybersalt and I are on another trip. She is attending a conference for her refugee sponsorship work and?we are working in family visits?before and after (and me during too!)
Today's video share will have you holding your breath in anticipation of how?this lizard can stay under water for 18 minutes!?
~ Pastor Tim?
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- Details
- Written by:?Pastor Tim
- Published: 19 October 2012
Many of you will remember the story of ¡°Bang¡± - a peach fronted conure that hit one of the windows of Cybersalt World Headquarters in June of 2011 and subsequently became part of our ¡°flock¡± after we could not track down its owners (see - ¡°¡±).Bang brought a lot of fun and entertainment into our lives, but on this past Sunday he/she (we never knew what gender Bang was) went to a new home with a parrot lover half an hour away from us.
Of everyone in the house, Bang bonded the most with me.This was probably due to my being the first person he saw in the morning when I uncovered his cage and delivered fresh seed and water for the beginning of the day. I like to think he was also in awe of me because I was the one who turned the sun on - a trick I like to call ¡°opening the curtains.¡± For whatever reason, Bang¡¯s little bird brain liked me the most.I¡¯ll always remember Bang as a fun bird who would land on my shoulder for a sunflower seed while I worked at the computer, liked his share of my vanilla ice cream cones, and who enjoyed long walks on the beach together - well would have if I had ever taken him on any.
At this point you are probably wondering why Bang has a new home.
- Last Updated: 08 May 2024
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Beatles Computer Song - Let It Be
When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
Write in C.
As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
Write in C.
Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, oh, write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.
I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.?
If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC's not the answer.
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.
?
This one is good. Or, it?was?good a few years ago. I learned FORTRAN and BASIC in college and I graduated 55 years ago!
?
So here¡¯s an update. Same idea, just a different set of computer languages, if you decide to use it again.
?
(Sung to the tune of Let It Be)
?
When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
Write in C.
?
As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
Write in C.
?
Write in C, write in C,
Write in C, oh, write in C.
Perl is dead and buried,
Write in C.
?
I used to write a lot of SQL,
For data it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.
?
If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.
?
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
Python's not the answer.
Write in C.
?
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Java won't quite cut it.
Write in C.
Received from Conrad Macina.
