beautiful dharma Connee...thanks again. :o)
NetPaul
----------
From: Connee Chandler <connee@...>
To: abe <Abraham-Hicks@...>
Subject: Re: [Abraham-Hicks] Connee changes her mind
Date: Friday, July 09, 1999 1:24 PM
From: Connee Chandler <connee@...>
Hi, Paul,
I'd like to add a little info that I haven't mentioned lately, before you
go
off too far on the path of my having had a perfectly loving human mother,
so
all that was needed was for me to recognize it through the dark veil of
my
cultural conditioning. I grew up in an alcoholic/dysfunctional home,
and
learned about victimization from my Mom who battered me as a child, as
she had
been battered as a child. And then, when she started breaking blood
vessels in
her hands from hitting me so hard, (I was about two) and she realized
that she
might literally kill me before I would conform to her expectations, she
turned
to what I later learned to call psychological abuse to control me. She
transcended her upbringing in a very powerful way that day. She always
did the
very best she could, given her current vibration, to be loving to me.
She
honestly believed that teaching me the rules of society was the most
loving
gift she could give me. It was the highest thought she knew at the time.
What I got so powerfully today is that the unconditional love has always
been
there, shining clearly inside what I have judged from later time to be
abuse.
And I know now can learn to focus so clearly on the love that it is all I
need
to remember in my relationship with her.
In my role as a teacher, I suspect that if people only hear what you seem
to
have heard here, that my mom was always outstandingly loving, then it is
easy
to dismiss my growth, because it seems it would be easy to feel the love
if
you have a purely loving mother. She was quite human in her mistakes,
but she
was *always* as loving as she could possibly be, given her upbringing. I
totally missed that part for many years, because I was so focused on
remembering the experiences of being hurt, with the assistance of a
string of
very well meaning therapists. From now on, I can do the opposite.
Totally
miss the hurt, because I am so focused on remembering the love.
I'm not saying that my Mom wasn't perfect from a spiritual perspective.
She
absolutely was and is. She is an extraordinary woman. She raised
another
child, my cousin's who died, for his first two years when she was in her
70s,
and she was and is perfectly loving to him. She transcended her
upbringing
again in that one. I admire her tremendously. I am grateful that I am
finally
learning to love her unconditionally myself.
My life is about learning to grow in love in my awareness of love and God
in
all Its guises. I am grateful for your response, so I could make myself
more
clear.
Love and hugs,
Connee
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