The Ancestral Quest: A Genealogist's Tale
(To the tune of "The Ballad of Gilligan's Isle")
Verses:
Just sit right back and you¡¯ll hear a tale,
Of seekers bold and sly,
Who swabbed their cheeks with a hopeful grin,
And mailed their genes to fly.
They dreamed of kings and castles grand,
A noble, royal line,
But the story told by their DNA
Was anything but divine.
A Viking? A Celt? A samurai bold?
Nope¡ªjust a farmer¡¯s son,
Who tilled the dirt and fed the sheep,
'Neath a cloud-blocked Irish sun.
Then, lo! A cousin comes into view,
A match so strong, it gleams!
But all they want is your family tree,
For their migration schemes.
Oh, whispers rise of scandals deep,
Of bastards, shame, and lies,
The knight you swore to hold in pride
Was a smith in low disguise.
The triumphs sweet, the pitfalls wild,
As history¡¯s veil you peel,
The maze of lives and names unfolds,
Your tangled truth revealed!
Refrain:
Oh, mighty Y, it leads the way,
The patriarch¡¯s genetic sway,
But one mutation breaks the chain,
And leaves your dreams in vain.
And mitochondria sings its song,
Of mothers¡¯ lines so long,
But Eve¡¯s refrain is vague at best,
And haplogroups can¡¯t rest.
Then autosomal joins the show,
Its threads in chaos grow,
A teaspoon here, a smidgeon there,
To weave your tale of woe.
So mix your genes and test your code,
A quest both high and low,
For though it mocks, the truth still calls,
To find what you don¡¯t know!
Closing Verse:
Still onward march, you seekers brave,
Through records worn and frayed,
The magic¡¯s not in what you find,
But in the hunt replayed.
So raise your vial, your spit, your dream,
Your tangled roots entwine,
For though it mocks, it lifts your soul,
To chase your unknown line!
