SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 133 ¨C Praise???????????
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When sincerely praising an individual¡¯s generosity in the presence of others, one should not do so in a way that may cause his family or business partner to be upset with him for having been charitable at their expense. Acknowledging
a major donation in the presence of the donor¡¯s spouse or offspring may arouse feelings on his or her part that the family¡¯s money is being mishandled. If the recipient had good intentions only, he would be guilty of speaking avak rechilus.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Loser of Two Worlds
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A? scoffer is liable to suffer retribution in this world for his sinful behavior. As the Talmud states (Avodah Zara 18b): ¡°Whoever scoffs will have affliction visited upon him, as it is written, ¡®And now, do not scoff, lest your retribution intensify¡¯ (Yeshayahu
28:22). Said Rava to the rabbis, ¡®I ask you not to engage in scoffing, so that affliction not come upon you.¡¯ ¡± The Talmud further states (ibid.) that scoffing causes one to be denied his material needs.
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Scoffers bring punishment upon the entire world, as the Talmud (ibid.) states, ¡°Whoever scoffs brings about destruction in the world.¡¯¡¯ It is forbidden even to sit in the company of scoffers, as it is written, ¡°Praiseworthy is the man ... that sat not in the
company of scoffers¡± (Tehillim 1:1).
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The Vilna Gaon writes in his famous letter:
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To the verse, ¡°All man¡¯s toil is for his mouth¡± (Koheles 6:6), the Sages comment (Midrash Koheles ibid.) that all the mitzvos and Torah study of a person are not sufficient to negate that which he utters [sinfully] with his mouth. They further state: ¡°Which
craft should man pursue in this world? He should strive to emulate a mute [and avoid evil talk] (Chullin 89a), and press his lips together like two millstones [which grind against one another]¡±.
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Therefore, one must distance oneself from scoffers so that he will not learn from their ways; rather, he should sit where Torah is being spoken. Praiseworthy will he be, in this world and in the World to Come.
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Keep reading Day 134, the lesson for Shabbos
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 134 ¨C Seeking Assistance
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When seeking a person¡¯s assistance, be it financial or otherwise, one may not mention that he knows of others who received similar assistance from this individual ¨C unless the individual is known to appreciate the publicizing of
that fact.
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This rule is based on the concern that a person may not want his charitable acts to become public knowledge, as this could bring about an endless barrage of requests for his assistance. By mentioning his having made a contribution to a certain person, one reveals
that the recipient shared the information with others ¨C which may cause the donor to be upset with that recipient.
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When reference to the recipient is made to bolster one¡¯s own request and not to cause animosity, it is categorized as
avak rechilus.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Arrogance
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Among the root causes of loshon hora is arrogance. The arrogant person views himself as a man of wisdom and stature, and he looks down upon everyone else. It is therefore only natural that he will ridicule others. The arrogant person is also
filled with jealousy and enmity toward anyone in his community who is accorded greater honor than he. He tells himself, ¡°Were it not for him,
I would be the recipient of all that honor!¡¯¡¯ This attitude brings him to delve into the other person¡¯s history until he finds something derogatory to say about him, be it true or false, so that he can heap scorn and shame upon that individual and
lower his stature among people.
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The Talmud states (Sotah 42b) that four groups will not merit to greet the Divine Presence:
flatterers; liars; [habitual] speakers of loshon hora;
and scoffers. Arrogance can cause a person to belong to all of the above groups. He will speak disparagingly of his fellow so that the person will be shamed while he will be honored; he will scorn and mock him; he will falsely boast of personal qualities
which he does not possess; and he will flatter the wicked and refrain from reproving them, so that they will not hate him and seek to diminish his honor.
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Therefore, one who wishes to purify his soul of arrogance should forever ponder the shamefulness of this bitter sin. How can man be arrogant when he was created from a putrid drop and will ultimately go to a place of dust, worms and maggots? One should also
ponder the severity of this sin, which is one of the 365 negative commandments, as it is written, ¡°... and your heart will become haughty, and you will forget Hashem, your God¡± (Devarim
8:14); and ¡°Take care, lest you forget Hashem, your God¡± (ibid. v. 11).
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When a person persists in seeking fame for himself, the opposite occurs. His reputation gradually becomes diminished and he becomes an object of disgrace in the eyes of others.
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