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Losing faith


 

I am laying awake in a state of panic.

My mom has that dry cough more often now and she is quite aware of it.

I noticed that my mom¡¯s face is looking ¡°dark¡±, not her normal color.


This evening I met a mutual friend who has stage 4 lung cancer and taking chemo drugs. She explained that her skin has darkened from the drug. Incidentally this is year three after her stage 4 diagnosis.

she was drinking wine and eating normal(meat and sweets). And she has not gained or lose weight in three years.

could it be that the protocol is working? Hence my mom is looking ¡°worse ¡° and coughing more? Her energy level is down now, she would doze off after I massage her back in the morning instead of chatting with me.

After the Feb thoracenteses, the x ray in March showed expanded lung and a moderate/small fluid. Both the pulmonologist and PCP were excited. You would think with the excess fluid gone, she has room to eat more. But she does not have the appetite to eat and continues to weigh 114. While you may think that is normal BMI, my mom has never been at this weight and there is excess skin on her back and neck. It breaks my heart seeing that.

i Am sorry to vent here¡­.but I do wanted the protocol to work it hurts.

when will I see the ¡®turnaround¡¯ ? Anyone experienced a downturn before major improvement?


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