First, I want to thank everyone for their helpful comments to
date. I read all of them, and although I don't usually answer them
individually, they mean a lot to me. My heart broke as I read the
last one, for while the Course teaches us that "There is no order of
difficulty in miracles. One is not harder or bigger than another" I
think the most challenging forgiveness lesson for most of us is the
death of a loved one.
So far, the only ones very close to me who have made their
transition are my parents, and I will not pretend that I can imagine
what it is like for a mother to lose her son, although the Course
teaches us that we can't really lose anyone. (Although you haven't
told me your name, I assume from another one of your postings that
you are a woman.) Among the many reasons your particular forgiveness
lesson is so difficult is because of the way the ego throws up images
to remind us terrible events in the manner you described, like with
the ramp, the wheelchair and the emergency room.
All I can say to you for sure is that we're all in the same
illusory boat, and sometimes it seems like a pleasant enough dream,
but then suddenly it's a nightmare. You sound as though you're doing
an excellent job at forgiveness by virtue of the fact that you
remember to do it, where most people don't even know how to do it,
much less remember. So I send you my love and join with you, and
remind you the Course says that minds joined with the Holy
Spirit are invincible. Then, as forgiveness works its miracle,
perhaps we'll realize that the love you have for your son, just as
the love that I have for my parents, is still there; more real than
ever, because love is all there is. Peace, Gary
