Hello mastreet@...,
In reference to your comment:
è I don't know about you, but sometimes I have found
è myself resisting what Ken teaches, just like I resist
è what the Course teaches too. I want a softer, easier
è more positive type of approach to the Course. (lol)
Ken is just on another level ... half the time I don't understand anything he is saying ....
but there is a part of my mind that does and that is what I watch.? I just sit there and listen, [trying not to fall asleep], and then after a while watch the fireworks for my ego goes crazy.? Then there is a breakthrough but it seems to be happening to someone else .. and I am watching.? That is why staying for a week in going to be very interesting.?
I went to the Foundation a couple of months after my son passed away and briefly spoke to Ken, and the one thing I walked away with is that I could not rush through this grief process, but he said I would know when I was making more of it than it really is ... and I understood what he meant.? I am at that point now (almost three years later) ...
I see the pay off of having a son who has passed away ... for it makes me very special, oh boy the attention I can get ... but I don't want it any more ... After reading Gary's book it was clear I was ready to forgive ... so that is what I am working on now.? All those painful memories ... there are a lot of them ... just keep forgiving and remembering not to do it alone.? :-)
So when I go to Atlanta and attend the classes, I will constantly forgive Ken, even though my real forgiveness lessons revolve around Gloria.. something about her irks me? LOL
But I can laugh about it because I understand that is another form of resistance.? I am clear that on the level of the Mind, I already know the information? ... it is just blocked and the only thing that can unblock it is forgiveness
I have tried other Course teachers and no one as of yet gets through like Ken does (with the exception of Joe's Listserv).? Ken does not hold punches ... he does not change the Course in any way? ... he is consistent and that is what my ego cannot deal with.
Ken and the Course speaks on a an intellectual level and I have had a difficult time comprending the Course on that level even though listening to him is stimulating at the same time.? The Course is like listening to music ... I could not tell you really anything really about the music other that I love it ... enjoy listening for it speaks to my spirit.
That is why I appreciate Gary's Book ... because the language that is spoken there is what I can clearly understand.? I don't have to figure out whether this is a level one or level two, am I making this real or dragging the HS down here to fix things, and at the same time I have not gotten the feeling that he is changing what the Course is saying, and that is the trap I see other teacher fall into.? Making this world or form real.
I know one day, I am going to read the Course, or listen or Ken or Joe and everything shared will be clear and understandable (I am looking forward to that and I have a feeling it will happen in this lifetime) ...? but until then I still have a lot of undoing ... a lot of forgiveness lessons to do.
Peace
Ossie
PS:? And the beauty of this Course is that when I work it ... my life is easier.? :-)
