SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON

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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Protective Fence
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“The best medicine of all is silence” (Megillah 18a). “A protective fence for wisdom is silence” (Avos?3:17). Silence is good for the wise, and surely for the unwise. One should guard his tongue like the apple of his eye, for one’s mouth can be the source of his ruination and the movements of his lips can endanger his soul. Thus it is written, “One who guards his mouth and tongue guards his soul from tribulations” (Mishlei?21:23).
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Better to be told, “Speak! Why are you so quiet?’’ than for others to find one’s prattling burdensome and ask that he be silent.
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Scripture states: “From that which lies within your bosom [i.e. your soul], guard the portals of your mouth” (Michah 7:5). The use of the term portals in reference to the mouth is instructive. An entrance to a house must be opened when necessary, but it cannot be left open all day and all night; to do so would mean to leave the house open to thieves. Similarly, one cannot allow his mouth to be open indiscriminately.
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A person’s most prized possessions are usually kept in a special vault, hidden away in an inner room and carefully guarded. As man’s most prized function, the power of speech must be guarded with great care, and its greatest protection is the quality of silence.

Keep reading Day 91, the lesson for Shabbos

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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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The Need To Talk
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People who find themselves inclined towards melancholy feel a need to speak freely to others and are, understandably, afraid to focus themselves on developing the quality of silence. Should this be the case, one should at least accustom himself to not speak about others, whoever they might be; his friendly conversations should focus on matters of interest, and not on people of interest. When he does find it necessary to discuss others, he should be as brief as possible.
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I have heard it said regarding the great Torah genius, Rabbi Raphael of Hamburg, that he resigned his post as rabbi four years prior to his passing. From that time and on, he would ask of those who visited him that as long as they were within the confines of his home, they should not speak about other people. I have also heard regarding another leader of his generation that he was exceedingly careful never to discuss others.1
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Certainly one must be careful not to discuss a storekeeper with his competitor, nor a craftsman with other members of his craft. Such conversations often lead to loshon hora, especially when the storekeepers or craftsmen are known to bear ill will toward one another.
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This restriction applies not only to singing the storekeeper’s praises, regarding which our Sages warned: “One should never speak the praises of his fellow [excessively], for praise will inevitably lead to criticism” (Arachin 16a).2 One should refrain entirely from discussing an individual with that person’s competitor, for the listener will quite possibly steer the conversation in a direction that will allow him to vent his negative feelings. If one finds it absolutely necessary to engage in such discussion for some constructive purpose, he should keep the conversation as brief as possible; otherwise, it will inevitably lead to loshon hora.
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1. Toward the end of his life, the Chofetz Chaim was visited by someone who broached the subject of a dispute in his home town. The Chofetz Chaim interrupted him, “For years, I have avoided the sin of loshon hora. Do you wish that I now be caught in its web?’’
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2. When one praises another excessively, it is inevitable that the speaker or someone else present will point out one or more of the subject’s faults (Rashi ad loc.). See Sefer Chofetz Chaim Part I, ch. 9.
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