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Is there any type of good directory or tips for helping find connections for kiddos? My oldest (9 and 7) especially would love friends to play online with while chatting with them on kid messenger. We have some friends to do this with but they aren’t available much and my kids want more!

Additions to these existing pages (and one new page, related to a couple of those): When Parents Have Issues (added "People can't casually deschool, stretch, fart, snooze, yawn..." https://sandradodd.com/issues/ "Two directions, about school (both Sandra)" added to https://sandradodd.com/school/ New page, on problems with not getting a good start: https://sandradodd.com/unschool/badly Part of what's on the new page (above) is quoted at "DO IT!" https://sandradodd.com/doit http://aboutunschooling.blogspot.com/2023/08/parental-issues-clarity-around-school.html There are other page announcements, going back years, there. It's another sort of randomizer! Sandra

Dear Friends This mail is to intimate you regarding a book I have written on drawing. As the publishers did not have any formal book launch I am writing this to all those who might be interested in the topic. The name of the book is SEEING WITH HANDS-exploring the potential of drawing for cognitive development. This book is the result of an unusual experiment in understanding decolonization, deschooling, de-conditioning, and learning from illiterate communities. Living with illiterate communities made me realize some crucial aspects of knowledge creation, the content of knowledge, and the context and conditions. Literates learn the WORD whereas illiterates learn the WORLD. We are made to ANALYZE secondhand information whereas they CREATE KNOWLEDGE of their contexts. This realization made me stop reading for a couple of years and it looks like my cognitive system rewired. I was able to see how literacy and schooling damage our natural cognitive process and rewires the neural network in such a way that our senses get numbed/distorted. It has been a long journey since then. from 1991 onwards...... This book came about from an experiment called reimagining schools conducted in the outskirts of Pune from 2011 to 2014. There was no teaching whatsoever and children had conditions to do what they would do naturally. We documented all their activities and in that process, we also documented their drawings. We were astonished to see the connection between what children experience, what they ply, and what they draw, clearly showing similarity between various other developmental processes like crawling to walking, blabbering to speaking, etc. It was by sheer accident that I stumbled upon the idea that children might be using drawing to understand the real world in terms of two-dimensional space.” This is a book on seeing- how children use drawing to observe the world. The book is to initiate seeing- an invitation to become an enquirer- to be like children, to observe, to touch, to feel, to sense… and more importantly, to let understanding take place. So, the invitation is to read the book without any forced agreement but to rediscover what children do when they have the freedom to draw and when they are not confused with our notions about art, self-expression, skill, etc. ‘Seeing with Hands’ explores the cognitive potential of drawing to understand the world. The book challenges our notion of drawing. It establishes drawing as means to observe and make sense of the real world. It also establishes the necessity of understanding drawing in continuation with children's actual experiences, the toys & play they create to revisit these experiences. This was evidenced by three years of children’s drawings done with no adult interference, whatsoever - neither to correct or praise. Naturally drawing became an activity that every child did to enhance their observation rather than make artistic, skilled drawings. This book is bound to lead to a new way of being with children, respecting their autonomy and their innate ability to develop their cognitive systems. This has the potential to enable adults- parents, teachers, educationists, cognitive scientists, and psychologists - to reflect on their schooling process and the way knowledge gets created naturally. So, this book challenges the modern paradigm of education which denies our most fundamental right which is COGNITIVE RIGHT, THE RIGHT TO BE. Hope you will find time to co-explore with me, this uncharted path. Amazon.in - https://tinyurl.com/5p3ttvcy Amazon.com - https://lnkd.in/gZsFXAA9 -- Jinan, TEXT DISTORTS, DIGITAL DESTROYS, WORLD AWAKENS http://kbjinan.in/ <http://jinankb.in/> http://ekfoundation.in/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC80rT8Zj1EE8TrzD3UreYfQ www.re-cognition.org https://independent.academia.edu/JinanKodapully 09447121544

A second interview on the podcast Cecilie and Jesper Conrad do. I can sure go on a tangent, and I talk fast, as usual, but these two are fun to talk to, and it went on too long, again. If you just want to listen, and read a sweet Intro: https://www.theconrad.family/blog/88860-learn-nothing-day ( https://www.theconrad.family/blog/88860-learn-nothing-day?fbclid=IwAR171_eLj5p0HqUSF9OlvKFRkAwqUAU4iSUIOYIYXOodz2GiYO9vnZv-1Dk ) If you want to see me, here it is at YouTube. https://youtu.be/vGt8NeQstw4 ( https://youtu.be/vGt8NeQstw4?fbclid=IwAR3ao6CxDgAkp6qQAQDF5QhkXJk-cEysK4Y0NUxwcRcB_zfaPn9f8hM-pA8 ) You could do some of both, I suppose! If you hear a quote I should use in Just Add Light, I might be able to find It in their automatically-generated transcript. Let me know. You can paraphrase, or tell me where, and I will find it. Ooh! They've made a topics list, a map! (00:00:00) - Balancing Male and Female Communication Styles (00:08:05) - Parenting Roles and Gender Dynamics (00:12:52) - Unschooling, Parenting, and Judgment (00:22:18) - Unschooling and Parental Guidance (00:33:02) - Honest Communication in Parenting (00:41:11) - Parenting and Communication Guidelines (00:52:36) - Losing Friends Over Unschooling (00:59:33) - Making Better Choices in Life (01:10:02) - Passion for Medieval History and Unschooling (01:20:22) - Unschooling and Learn Nothing Day (01:29:23) - Video Games' Impact on Learning (01:34:19) - Parenting and Video G That was fun. I found that list here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4zJKYT0o6kxXkjybxj09w7 ( https://open.spotify.com/episode/4zJKYT0o6kxXkjybxj09w7?fbclid=IwAR2P2tEk-Cwx7Lx-mbCZUbl07Jw6TccR0c_J9Wp7XGXJZX4ybVUcgobaiqo ) I'd be happy to discuss any of those things more, here, if something I said inspires or irritates you and you want me to expand, or defend myself, or apologize. :-) Sandra

Working on pages to link to, I came to something good. Then I made the photos show again, and formatted it to work on a phone! 1998 was 25 years ago. Someone's son wanted to know the difference between a pike and a battleaxe. I think it will work to put the whole post here, with a link to the 2009 deposit of that, which has comments. IT DID NOT WORK. If you got an e-mail with codey gunk in it, I'm really sorry. The link is https://thinkingsticks.blogspot.com/2009/09/battleaxe-or-pike.html __________ "1998 was 25 years ago. Someone's son wanted to know the difference between a pike and a battleaxe..." That person is fully grown now, and I'm quite old but I still liked the question, and was glad I happened to know.

To those who identify as Unschoolers, or whose home-education practices could be so categorized by others, this is a formal request to *CEASE AND DESIST* On July 24, 2023, beginning at 12:01 a.m. in whatever time zone you are, whether awake or asleep, you are asked to refrain from any learning, and from the facilitation of others' learning, for a period of 24 hours. (EXEMPTED: Unschooling families resident in the State of Utah should cease and desist July 25, 2023, or sometime.) This message is delivered out into places unschoolers might see it. If you have read this far, you are in receipt of the letter. Tag, no backsies. Binding, blinding information. Having taken such actions and made such decisions that learning "just happens" in your home and in your life, it is likely that you are living without taking a break from that learning. Lest you and your children get so tired of learning that school starts to look like restful activity, give it a break. *Should you fail* to follow this directive, or should your efforts prove fruitless, proceed with fruitier activities thereafter. No further action will be necessary, although you might want to share the story of your unintentional learning, and the time (on that date), of your first failure to learn nothing. Clerk to the Secretary of the Office of Maintenance and Upholdence of Learn Nothing Day

My 12 yr old son has a longtime passion for gaming. Until recently, he was happy to have me involved, at least as an observer. More recently, if I hang out and watch him play then he turns to me and asks, Why are you still here? He's a man of few words, he relishes time alone. I respect this and intentionally don't bombard him with questions or come into his room without permission. He used to be excited to explain the game or show me videos of his accomplishments. Now he doesn't like when I ask about his games or ask to see his videos. I feel like I am being shut out of an important part of his life. Is this normal as kids get older and want more independence? How do I keep communication open if he doesn't want to talk about his passions? I have fears too about it. Open communication while online provides a lot of safety. He could be a target of trolling, grooming, bullying etc. and I wouldn't be allowed in to help him navigate it. Thanks for your insight!

This is what I can do from home! I was recently Interviewed. I hope It's fun. I'm announcing It before I've listened. I was having a good time with Cecilie and Jesper. https://www.theconrad.family/blog/85947-self-directed-16 There will be a follow-up, and the plan is to talk about choices, incremental change, and Learn Nothing Day. ________________________________ Numbers. Numbers do NOT stick, in me, well. Kirby was 4 (not 5). Holly was 31 (not 32, not even 31 and a half). Nada had five kids, when I called her years later and apologized, one morning before school. I didn't name a wrong number, I just said "kids," but knowing there were five, and the youngest just newly school age, is a better picture. I had it in my head, but didn't spit it out right. :-)

This is not a beginning topic, but I cleaned up an older page, and created a newer one of existing parts. :-) Those both lead to "Cake," which is also mostly about sacrifice. Magical sacrifices (not the kinds that work; not the things that help unschoolers) https://sandradodd.com/sacrifice Sacrifice, in a good way, for unschooling parents https://sandradodd.com/sacrifice/tradeoff Sandra

-=-The thing that seemed to make the biggest change was giving her a special set for her own to use as she wishes. I had just that set- it was my grandpa's, the pieces are beautifully realistic, molded plastic. She knows how I treasure it and giving her that seemed to melt away the jealousy surrounding chess for her.-=- She's four years old. She can't "know" how you treasure a chess set that was your grandpa's. If you can't remember being that young, and if you haven't been around a lot of kids that age lately, they can be casually destructive because they were pretty much born yesterday. They have no sense of nostalgia yet, or of antiques, nor of how old grandparents are, or how difficult it can be to obtain another one of something that's 50 or 80 years old. :-) Even if you could, it wouldn't be the original. If you DO treasure that chess set, put it up yourself every time. Put it up high. :-) Take care of it for her, so that she's not set up to fail. Be her partner. :-) Sandra

My 4 yr old DD is delightfully dramatic, excited about life, and open about her moment to moment feelings. This is completely opposite of her dad, 11yr old brother and myself. Which makes it a joyful wonder to us. It also perplexes us when the feelings are jealousy and rage. She can't keep it together and she tries to hurt the offending person/animal. For instance, at dinner she may not want her dad to sit by her, she so will spit at him. My response is to remove her from the table and either take her outside where she can freely spit and scream and release the anger. Or if she doesn't want to do that, I will sit at the couch with her until she calms down. Lately, she doesn't want to go in to an alternate space, she tries to hit, spit, and jump on whomever she is upset at. I physically restrain her, as gently as I can, to keep her from hurting anyone. Understandably, this further enrages her and it takes the whole mealtime to calm down. Another example is in regards to jealousy of my DS. He and I play chess together at the table and my DD climbs up on to one of us and tries to take the pieces or clear the board off the table. When we stop the game because of the interference, my son feels upset at being pushed aside because of his sister. I have tried incorporating her into the game: setting up the board, moving the pieces for me, etc. But she says she doesn't want me to play with him at all. This is just a recent example. Something similar happens when I spend time with DS or even the dogs. Things I have tried: -Playing with her first to fill her attention bucket -Waiting until she is asleep (it is late and my sleepiness frustrates my son- he feels like he's getting my leftover time) -Teaching her to play so she can have a real turn (she doesn't want to /possibly can't yet learn) -Distracting her with tablet, show, playing with Dad. No joy there. Any ideas? What am I missing?

I've paid the cost of this group, but I invite you to assist me if you're willing. https://sandradodd.com/donate For $220 a year, we have a better deal than we had at Yahoogroups. It's also better than if we had a new account here; they would charge us more than that because of the number of subscribers. We have a legacy account. While it's true that the group has been quiet, it is still hosting the storage of over twenty years now of life-changing and unschooling-polishing discussions, to which many links lead. From topic pages on my website, and from "Just Add Light and Stir" posts, readers are directed to these archives frequently. I'm glad to have them. My website, SandraDodd.com, is about $100 a year (less than it used to be, thanks to Vlad's clever knowledge and abilities). There are a few other smaller expenses, and that's all these days! Best wishes to all of you, and do feel free to post in this group so it's not as quiet. :-) Sandra

So I'm updating this page, today, and... Wait. First, maybe stop reading and come back to it. Before you get to the end, think about what countries you think/assume have the greatest number of Engish speakers (as a first or second language). If you live where most or lots of people speak English, think of where your country might be on an ordered list. __________________ So I'm updating this page, today, and... Lots of my stories start that way now. :-) Years back, if I created a new page it was probably because there had been an epiphany expressed in a discussion, and I didn't have a page to put it on, or there had been a rip-roaring argument in a discussion, and those tend to inspire the writers to WRITE. :-) But now, it's routine maintenance, most times. Surprise yet to come; hang on. The Robin Hood quote I brought here about food, I ended up putting on an obscure page of mine called Noun/Verb sets. I put it there because the word "content" in that quote has the emphases on the second syllable. For contrast, I put Bo Burnham's brief bit (from his special "Inside") called "Content" (emphasis on the first syllable). That's at SandraDodd.com/nounverbSandraDodd.com/nounverb THE SURPRISE: India has over three times as many English speakers as the United Kingdom has. The UK is #6 on the list, behind the U.S., India, Pakistan, Nigeria and The Phillippines. (The details and disclaimers on that page are fun.) I checked to make sure that link still worked. My page used to say the UK was #5 on the list, but the link DID work, and the UK had been downgraded to #6, by the addition of Pakistan. Canada and Australia aren't even in the top ten. New Zealand is listed after Singapore, but looking at the numbers, I think those two have switched places (or someone updated numbers), and perhaps the table that's there is static, rather than set up to sort by a particular field. So NZ should be up one, seems to me. Sandra (lover of English, lover of trivia, big fan of the UK and amused)

If this is garbled, it's all at the top of my "Eating in Peace" page, but I've added something new, today, from The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood. https://sandradodd.com/eating/peace (changed my plan; edited the page because it was junky with code.) On Aug 1, 2006, at 9:36 PM, Sandra Dodd wrote: > > *Ramen in a happy environment is better than four dishes and a dessert in > anger and sorrow.* > (on Always Learning, 2006) ( > /g/AlwaysLearning/message/26466 ) > Nancy Wooten responded: > > *Proverbs 15:17 ?* > > *(Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred > therewith.)* > > (Proverbs 15:17, KJV) ( > https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+15%3A17&version=KJV > ) > Schuyler Waynforth, quoted on Facebook in July 2012: > > *Candy fed with love beats the heck out of broccoli eaten out of fear.* BetteAnne Camagna quoted a different verse from Proverbs, on April 2013: > > *Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, > with strife.* > (Proverbs 17:1, NIV) ( > https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+17&version=NIV ) > Sandra, commenting on information about nagging ( https://sandradodd.com/nagging ) : > > *Twinkies and a Red Bull are probably healthier than being nagged is.* Howard Pyle, in The Merry Adventures of Robin Hood , has Robin Hood say: > > *Gaffer Swanthold speaks truth when he saith, "Better a crust with content > than honey with a sour heart."* > (Chapter XVI: Little John Turns Barefoot Friar) ( > https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Merry_Adventures_of_Robin_Hood/Chapter_XVI > ) >

On Tue, Oct 25, 2022 at 03:11 PM, Katie Robles wrote: She told them she learned spelling from the auto-suggest feature in Roblox chats. ;) I I love those kinds of stories, mostly because of the children seeing their own learning, and knowing that THEY did that. Maybe with a game, or a toy, or a little brainstorm about some similarities or patterns, but it's their personal way in to knowledge or abilities that others came in to differently. :-) Holly learned to read at 11, so her vocabulary was already big. She saw blends, early, when she was looking around, and so words like "outhouse" and "sweetheart" looked to her not like compound words, but like something unrecognizable with a "th" in the middle. :-) It didn't frustrate her. She had fun with it. Sandra

I've worked up a page with links to things Renee Cabatic has written, thought up, done, photographed... Her kids are recently grown up. Her contributions to the shared pool of unschooling ideas and experiences has been smooth, rich and ongoing, Please take some time to explore there, and if you have some favorite Renee input, or a quote, or link, please comment here and I'll try to add it. Unrelated to the whole Renee page (lined below the image), I just came across a Halloween idea of hers, Just in time. https://sandradodd.com/eating/vampire Renee's idea, arrangement, and photo: That new page: Renee Cabatic

2011, on Always Learning.... The comments are what I'm really bringing, and they will be below. I quoted this, by Jenny Cyphers: One of the very important aspects of unschooling that is solely on the parents, is to create a happy learning environment. Kids don't learn nearly as well when they aren't happy. It doesn't mean that every person needs to be happy at every moment of every day, it means that things that create happy momentum should be paramount from day to day. If going to concerts with friends is something that creates happiness, do more of that. If staying at home without friends creates unhappiness, do less of that. If you want to unschool well, make your lives as happy as possible, make home a happy place, make food and grocery shopping and everything in between something that is happy. An uncredited comment came: __________________ Unknown May 16, 2011 at 5:22 AM ...sounds fabulous... how to make grocery shopping and the dreaded cleaning of the house happy things. Definitely something to contemplate. ___________________ Sandra DoddMay 16, 2011 at 11:34 AM Don't call it "the dreaded" and then stop dreading it. :-) http://sandradodd.com/chores/shift __________________ AND I COMMENTED AGAIN TODAY: ___________________ Sandra DoddSeptember 24, 2022 at 9:04 PM http://sandradodd.com/chores/shift (That link lost its clickability, and as years have passed, I can add another link, too.) https://sandradodd.com/battle ____________________________________________________ By thinking of housework as "the dreaded..." there was a layer of doom to remove before the mom could see clearly what Jenny had written, perhaps. And in 2011, I didn't have my collection of, and clarity around, the damage of negative terminology, and of adversarial models of everyday doings. https://justaddlightandstir.blogspot.com/2011/05/happy-momentum.html

Marty was fifteen, when I wrote this. It was an e-mail to our "old next-door neighbor" (who still lives there now, and Marty lives in the house in the story). We had rented our older, smaller house, to a friend, Mike, who was in his 30s. In the Society for Creative Anachronism, he had been my husband's squire, so there was a relationship and we rented him that house cheap, and often he paid it off in labor, repairs, or remodelling. So Mo was his next-door-neighbor (Mike's) and had known Marty since he was three. In the small workshop in back, Mike was making leather boots and leather pouches for medieval re-creationists, not just our club. He did some fancy things for a tv commercial and for a re-enactment/documentary on The Mary Rose, a ship that had been recently discovered and raised... anyway. Mike had hired three teens to work for him, doing long seams and less technical parts. Two had quit and that left Marty working alone, without so much to learn. The story picks up there, and the main part I wanted to share, I will put in boldface. It was all said jokingly, conversationally. ______________________________ [From an e-mail to Mo Palmer October 29, 2005] Marty quit his job. He told Mike on Thursday (10/27/05) that he wanted to finish the work that was there and then quit. He said Mike did his "depressed thing," but otherwise was fine with it. Earlier in the week Marty had talked to me about what two weeks' notice meant and how it would work with a four-day-a-week job, and I told him the tradition, but this isn't that formal a job. He talked about how he might quit, and said he might tell Mike he'd stay until Mike found someone else. I said don't do that! He might never even look. I also cautioned Marty not to say it was about money or hours, or Mike might offer him more. So he said he'd finish current orders, and Mike said that might be enough work to last until middle of next week, but Marty finished it Thursday and Friday. He wants to have a week off before looking for something else. We're *right* by Raley's, Lowe's and a Twister's. Toward Menaul there's a video game store that really wanted to hire Kirby after he quit at Active Imagination, but Kirby turned them down twice. I'm pressing Marty to go there and get a job so he can get an employee discount on the new Playstation that's coming out. I said "DO IT! Do it right now!" He didn't seem eager. I said "You kids never do what I tell you to do." Marty: "That's how we were raised." Me: "Well it's going to bite you in the butt someday." Marty-without-a-pause: "That we were raised that way?" Oooohh... He won. <g> There was nothing wrong with the job, it's just that when Marty started there were other people to talk to and he was learning lots of new things, but it devolved into Marty working all alone and doing things he had done before. ______ I didn't share it at the time, for being sensitive information that involved others, but many years have passed. There's something in my willingness and calm about them NOT doing what I thought they should do that's the reason for bringing it. There are still times, now, this week, that I think wistfully that I wish they would do some little thing differently, maybe more efficiently, but then I see them being responsible—all in their 30s now—and sweet to kids (those with kids, and Holly is a sweet Auntie when she's in range). Sandra

I've been discussing unschooling online for 30 years now. I have some printouts dated 1982, from a user group on "HOME SCHOOLING" that had about 80 participants, mor than half of whom were home schooling because their churches had told them it was the only way to be. Many participants were men, too, because it wasn't easy to have e-mail yet outside of work. My e-mail address was through a company called *Prodigy (with an asterisk in it :-). Before long AOL opened, and that was like a huge air-conditioned mall, compared to the BBS/user groups. That's when I buddied up with Pam Sorooshian, and Joyce Fetteroll, and others who could think clearly and write well and some of whom are still around.. There were other forums, and this group was created in November 2001, so nearly 21 years ago. The first post was by Deb Lewis: /g/AlwaysLearning/message/1 It's still. great read, and the responses, too. Please never feel bad about reading something again. For one thing, that's they way people can really know something, through repetition. For another thing. You read it from a different perspective, after you have more experience with unschooling or parenting (or spirituality or whatever the topic is), and it WILL be different. This page, on my site, is about repetition (in good ways) and has a video of me (very short, with Holly filming and responding): https://sandradodd.com/again Today's Just Add Light and Stir (which has a **NEW** self-service subscription box) has a link to all the rearview mirror photos that are up there, and if any of you want to tke a good one and send it, I wouldn't mind considering others. There are two of bridges, in mirrors, and those are STUNNING. https://justaddlightandstir.blogspot.com/2022/09/rearview-mirrors.html