On Thu, Aug 26, 2021 at 11:33 PM, Jennifer Moore wrote:
Might it have been in the book "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk", Faber & Mazlish?
I like a lot of the ideas in that book.? Some unschoolers don't like it.? But she's asking about some things in unschooling discussions.
Karen, I looked for something Pam Sorooshian wrote about not going on and on, and just saying "towel" if a kid dropped a wet towel, but she was talking about someone coming in from the pool, casually not hanging a towel up.? Your question is about a child in an emotional state, being expressive by dropping a coat and dropping onto the couch dramatically.
That wouldn't be a good time to nag about hanging clothes up.? The child is upset about something, and came where you were!? How would you treat a friend, a partner, a spouse?? Your own mom?
I love it when I can find the perfect quote, and I hope someone here will. :-)??
Compassion should some before "training" (if training ever comes), and love should come before nagging.? ?I don't always get it right, and even now with grandkids sometimes I criticize when I could just pick the thing up myself and be cheery.? A kid who sets a cup in a precarious place won't do it every time for life.? Move the cup over and be a nice person (I tell myself).? :-)?
Maybe I looked for what I remembered about picking something up rather than "as if it were an adult friend."? I'll look again tomorrow, if someone else doesn't kindly beat me to it! :-)
Also, just tonight I was thinking of bringing all the chat transcripts from the blog where half or so of them are, back to my site so they'll be searchable.? There have been some good stories told in chats.
Until then (and after), it would be good to think of WHY you want to be kind to someone who is stressed, and how you're making memories, for that child, of either a loving mother or a nagging mother.? People don't always make the better choice, but if they tell themselves it doesn't matter, then they'll NEVER make better choices and take more positive paths!
?
Sandra?
?
?
--
(If this doesn't look like Sandra Dodd's e-mail, it is one.? "AElflaed" is my medieval-studies/SCA name.)
