Looks like I solved it.? For future reference:
1. I installed MPLAB X IDS 5.45
2. I connected the usb to power the chip. Note that pin2 of the ICSP is NC. Since that is where VDD comes in, you need to provide power and you cannot use the programmer.
3. Enable Advanced settings
4. In the power section, select power from PICkit3 (yes, I know, this is a NC). and click the Powertarget from PICKit 3 box
5. I set the voltage to 3.35V
6. Under programming options, click use low voltage programming (for high voltage programming, need different set of Pins!)
7. I selected Apply Vdd before Vpp
Not sure if any or all of these are needed, but after using this configuration, I could erase and program the chip. And it verified on read!
On to install the other MCU and see if this really programmed things....
73
Mark
AJ6CU