"You truly think it is merely a belief of mine? Only a belief that keeps me from enjoying?the simple pleasures of life, like this vase of flowers for instance?"? Elizabeth attempted a smile but?reaching for the vase in question only made things worse.
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She had tried to be polite with her dear Victor, but his inability to understand her needs and address them, created a wave?of irritation that was passing through her, controlling her, until it went out into the vase and before she knew it, something happened. She knew it was bad without looking at the vase, just by the sound of breaking.
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"I am sorry. I am so sorry," Elizabeth tried excusing her inexplicable behavior, her intimidating strength. And then, that dark wave of irritation took hold of her once more before she was ready to fend it off. "I am NOT sorry. I cannot be. I am as...as broken as that vase, Victor. Oh Lord, I don't want to be saying this. Truly, I wish I had better news.
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Only, I firmly believe that I was broken. In that horrible dark place. I shouldn't have been there. I know, I know Victor. You didn't wish for me to be there either. But I was there and I shouldn't have been. Nor can I help blaming you for it. It is entirely irrational, well I know. And yet, I cannot help myself. This place was more than just a place of death. It was a place of...correction perhaps. It changed something in me, Victor. It poisoned me against myself, and most certainly, against you.??
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Oh, I am so sorry. I don't know what I am saying. We can go to the lab and get the potion? And the potion can fix me in earnest? Oh Victor, you have been unfailingly nice to me. You truly mean it? James?was not angry at my unusual food requests? I have been...starving. Just another thing that was wrong with me, I suppose. When I came back. But I will change for you, dearest Victor. I really want to..." Elizabeth saw no reason to expound on the precise nature of her particular hunger. It was unlikely that Victor would understand. It was unlikely that a normal, sane human being should. And she already required so much of dear Victor's attention, she did not wish to add more to his worries about her. Justifiable worries, as they may be. ??
Kat