Mea Culpa
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I feel the need to explain my habit of commenting on exchange prints.?
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In the late 1970s I fell in with a group of accomplished photographers here in Eugene, and quickly became friends with all of them. Every couple of months six to eight of us would gather over beer and Mexican food and pull out a few of the prints we had been working on. Subject matter varied widely: landscapes, abstractions, portraiture, nudes, you name it. It was all black and white printed in our home darkrooms, none of us had the time or patience for Cibachrome. The film we were working with ranged from 35mm to 4x5. Our approach was simple: all the prints were laid out under good lighting and we went around the group, one person at a time, and shared which two prints we were most drawn to and impressed by. Each person had to say why he or she felt that way about that particular print. It was a very causal, positive exchange. Once in a while one of us would ask for constructive criticism but that was rare. And it turned out that, since we all had our biases about subject matter, printing styles, etc., by the time the evening was over most everyone had been the recipient of at least a few good words.
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I fear I have carried the spirit of those sessions with me when offering up comments on the exchange web site. I had hoped that my observations would be joined by other group members who felt strongly about prints other than the ones I mentioned. But as one of our participants shared with me, despite my caveats, my singling out a few prints was implicitly dismissive of the ones I didn¡¯t mention (my words, not his). And that troubles me greatly.
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I went up to my studio and spent quite a while looking over the exchange prints from the past year or so. And I realized there were many, perhaps most, of the prints that I could have - should have - commented on. I recognize that a large part of the problem is my biases, in what I value in a photograph. I am drawn to photographs of nature and wildlife, of people and places outside North America (especially Africa and the Indian subcontinent), to natural abstractions. And though I recognize that the initial focus of this group was on mastering digital printing techniques, it seems that most of us do a damned good job printing nowadays. So I focus on subject matter, composition, etc., all the while viewing though my own filters. If another half dozen of you were offering up your observations as well mine would probably be balanced out. But as it stands I have been guilty of selectivity, and have likely offended several of you who are too polite to tell me so.
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So¡ the end result of this introspection is that I have decided to stop posting comments on the images in future exchanges. Please know that I have more appreciation for all the work submitted than my past words have expressed. And I will continue to look forward to each box of prints that arrives at my door like a little kid on Christmas morning :)
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Steve
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Sometimes I find myself wishing I hadn¡¯t said or written something soon after the act. This is one of them.
I want to apologize for my comments (¡°Mea Culpa¡±) on Monday. And I would like to offer an explanation for what, in hindsight, seems like a gross overreaction to an offhand comment by another person. This may well be TMI, but at this point in my life - as a 74 year-old mostly adult person - I have no problems sharing what I¡¯m about to say. I suffer from depression, have wrestled with it my entire life. Months will often go by without a hint of the illness, then suddenly it hits me with both barrels, rendering my normal thought processes suspect. That has been the case lately. I have been dealing with the loss of two close friends in the past few months. And Monday was the second anniversary of my godson¡¯s suicide. So my already fragile mental state proceeded to plunge even further into darkness. When I am depressed I obsess on how my behavior, my words, can hurt other people. I become overly sensitive, apologetic, find myself feeling guilty of any number of offenses, real or imagined. And I try to do whatever I can too rectify the situation, or at least make amends. Hence my apologetic message and my impulsive decision to cease posting comments to the group site out of fear of further alienating some members. I have long been self-conscious being the only group member to post comments the majority of the time. And I have wished others would join me, since they would offer different insights, express appreciation for the finer aspects of some images that didn¡¯t make my radar. To my delight both Jayanand and Rob have mentioned they plan to offer their comments as well. I just hope my infantile outburst did not make them reconsider. As for myself, I have reconsidered. I will continue to offer my observations after each exchange, but with a slightly different approach. I will do my best to break away from my biases and look at and appreciate all the prints as close to equally as is possible. I am looking forward to seeing new images with new eyes :) |
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Glad you will continue commenting, I always looked forward to them every month. I realized that, reading your monthly comments, that my growth as a B&W printer, around 20 years ago, was supercharged by a very supportive group who were always willing to encourage, help and offer concrete suggestions (led by Tom O'Connell), and I felt it was high time I did the same. So, I decided to get my feet wet by commenting on a few prints every month and take it from there. Cheers Jayanand On Wed, Dec 20, 2023 at 11:13?AM Stephen Mustoe <smustoe@...> wrote: Sometimes I find myself wishing I hadn¡¯t said or written something soon after the act. This is one of them. |
Stephen Mustoe
Jayanand