Ill bore you with the physical exam yesterday. The physical therapist met us at the orthopedist's office with the surgeon and 2 x-ray techs. I thought I knew what torture was, I've now had a post doctorate class. The surgeon had the PT maniac positioned my left leg/knee in positions neither nature or God intended to "Get good X-rays."
The surgeon want to insure he has the best fitting "joint." Normally they use "full step sizes" but you can special order 1/8 step sizes.
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Given I had my right knee repaired on June 4 and that leg is now almost a full inch taller when standing because my left leg is bowed like I rode a horse from birth, the surgeon is concerned the extreme difference will cause excess wear on my hips. So I now have this really odd spacer I have to attach to my left shoe to sort of equalize things.?
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My wife made video of me walking without the spacer and it looks like some sort of comedy routine from the Ed Suliven show from the late 1950s. The spacer helps in many ways but throws my center of gravity off even more.
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When I was a child the medical community was honest and didn't care about hurting feelings and called it "clumsy child syndrome" today they've gone all sensitive and it is dispraxia.
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I'm certain if you look in an old medical book you'll find my photo as Exemplar Type 1, Male by the clumsy child entry. I'm probably the only person you've ever heard of who broke his arm tripping on a shadow in the ER. Greenstick fractured my left arm as we were leaving after they removed the cast from my right arm.
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My wife once asked me to dance with her and started giggling so hard I thought she'd pass out,?
when she recovered enough to speak, "Honey the Funky Chicken was written about you." [She was way too kind. Although I can waltz.]
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As we left the practice I swear I heard the orthopedist mumble about ordering 30 yards of bubble wrap.....
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Just think I've made it 72 years, 32 come August 31, rode a motorcycle for 30ish years, had one accident, truck pulled in front of me and I can't walk across a floor with a pattern on it.
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Our cat just shakes her head as I stumble by.
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In a way it's funny, my right knee hurts if I move it certain ways, so I don't do that, but my left knee now feels like I have demons with tiny nail guns. It gets worse at night when I lay down.?
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Getting old ain't for sissies.
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In PE I drove the coach to tears. I could sink a basketball from anyone onside of the center line, but I couldn't dribble to save my life. And I've taken mountain climbing lessons at Grandfather's Mountain in NC, and I'm terrified more then 3 feet off the ground, which given my total lack of coordination is a survival instinct. My then girlfriend, now wife, insisted it'd be fun. It was, sort of, everyone should free repel 200 feet, once.
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And just think I'll two matching scars down the center of my knee, ~3" above to ~3" below. There goes my career as a knee model...unless of course they are hiring for Frankenstein's Monster. The scar freaks people out. I'm having to wear support hose on my right leg to help the swelling, about 1 in a gazillion people have edema for unknown reasons. I had a young girl at the library ask me "Are you a pirate?"
?I had midlength shorts, and I did sort of look like a man from ~1800 with one legging. I smiled, "No dear, just a booboo."
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I thought the mother wanted to find a hole to dive in.
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I used to walk sort of like a drunken sailor, swaying side to side, now I only sway to the left....and I'm conservative!
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If you can't laugh at yourself you won't survive. I ought to make it to 200.
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Serious note on knee replacement, it isn't for all orthopedic conditions, but, if? you need it, get it!
My right knee is pain free 99% of the time, on June 3 I could not stand for more then a minute or so, my right knee would "give way", I might have been able to walk 300 feet. Today I can stand on the right leg...one legged and Friday morning I walked one full loop, ~900 feet, on the walking loop at the pool. With zero pain in my right knee!
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We won't mention my left knee.
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