For My Liberal Friends:

"Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes
for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress,
non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice
holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious
persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with
respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions
at all. We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling
and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted
calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of
choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make
America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any
other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere, and
without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability,
religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes. By accepting these
greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to
clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no
alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher
to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or
others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole
discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected
within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or
until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes
first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance
of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher."

For My Conservative Friends:

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year