Daily Clean Jokes for April 20, 2025
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Daily Clean Jokes for April 20, 2025? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Today's Clean Limericks? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Women saw studly man and did sigh. "His physique is so good, can't deny ????????????That it's hard not to stare ????????????At the man over there. How 'bout you?"??Friend replied, "Aye,?I eye." ? Lee, Conrad, Bill, got it. Kirk Miller
? ? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ? ? Puzzling Bus Shelter Blunder City officials in Mesa, Arizona, have mistakenly installed two bus shelters where no buses run. The installation cost $19,000 at a time when the city is cutting its public transit budget to save money. The shelters were installed as part of a $4.6m improvement project finished about a year ago. Although there is a bus service on part of the road, the vehicles turn before reaching the shelters. And even though the shelters have signs posted saying no buses pass by, people still wait. "It slipped through all of us and didn't get caught until after the fact," said Ethos Kramer, a Mesa city spokesperson.?? ----- ? Today's One-Liner:? ? ? I've discovered that you can turn a regular sofa into a sleeper sofa simply by forgetting your wife's birthday. -----? ? Young Dressing When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down. One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks. A student came in, and his eyes widened. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "You should wear clothes like that every day. You look twenty, m ----- Drama at the Airport My wife has just fainted on the luggage carousel at the airport! But I think she's okay - she's slowly coming 'round. ----- Squirrels one Nuts in Texas Churches! There were three country churches in a small Texas town: the Presbyterian church, the Lutheran church and the Catholic church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels.? After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will. The Catholic group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creations.? So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town.? Three days later, the squirrels were back. It was only the Lutherans who were able to come up with the best and most effective solution.? They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter. -- Pearly Gates. ? Received from Pastor Tim.? ?___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Kirk's Puns of the Day:? ? What do you call a woman who can't stop buying romance novels? ????A heroine addict. ? My favorite allergy song is Blowin' in the Wind by Peter Pollen Mary. ? New Year's resolution:??Something that goes in one year and out the other. ? My friend opened a dry-cleaning business next door to the convent.??He knocked on the convent door and asked the Mother Superior if she had any dirty habits. ? And then there was the Frenchman who bought up the world supply of dried soup, and became a bouillonaire. ? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ? An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong. ----- Position Available Immediately: Apprentice Sith Lord, Dark Side Consulting Group. ----- One evening during a poker game, a man was bragging to his friends about how his sister disguised herself as a man and was able to join the army. ----- Six year old Angie, and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not suppose to talk out loud in church." ----- NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two monkeys and an astronaut. They trained them for months. Then when they thought they were ready, they placed all three in the shuttle and got ready to send them up into space. ----- Q: What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? ----- I wanted to buy a CD player, but was completely perplexed by one model's promotional sign. So I called the salesclerk over and asked, "What does 'hybrid pulse D/A converter' mean?" ----- A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." ----- Lisa came up behind her husband while he was drinking his morning coffee and slapped him on the back of the head. ----- - Herblock's Law: If it's good, they will stop making it. ----- "Lance Armstrong, who of course, won his seventh Tour de France, now says he just wants to lay around the house and drink beer. What a lazy bastard this guy turned out to be." --Jay Leno ----- Why did cavemen draw pictures of hippopotamuses and rhinoceroses on their walls? ----- More Jokes from ArcaMax.comStill More Jokes from ArcaMax.comEven More Jokes from ArcaMax.com----- A nurse's boyfriend (Jack Black) reacts to her kissing a sailor (Michael Longfellow) in front of him while celebrating the end of World War II in Times Square. ¡°If we are going to have this practice carried out in our name and on our dime¡ then I think we need to face what we are actually doing.¡± Gianna Toboni, an Emmy-winning journalist, joins Michael Kosta to share findings from her new book, ¡°The Volunteer: The Failure of the Death Penalty in America and One Inmate¡¯s Quest to Die With Dignity.¡± They discuss why the system is failing ... Pat Paulsen, commisioner of the IRS, defends the organization against accusations. The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour. Received from ArcaMax Jokes. ? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ? ? Give?us a sense of humor,? Give us the grace to see a joke, ? To?get some humor out of life, ? and pass it on to other folk? ...?? Have a great?day?unless you have other plans. ? Compiled by: Marilyn L. Van Driesen.? Our New Groups Email Addresses ? Post:?mailto:[email protected] ? Subscribe:?mailto:[email protected] ? Unsubscribe:?mailto:[email protected] ? Group Owner:?mailto:[email protected] ? Help:?mailto:[email protected] ? PASS IT ON! Yeah, you can send these jokes to anybody you want. And, if you're REAL nice, you'll tell them where you got it!?? ?? +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ? |