Hi, Adrienne,
I agree that your premise is true - that we can often draw people back into
our lives who we want to see again. And it is a very good point that we do
create 100% of our experience, so all those people we are meeting out there
are our creations. Blake said taking 100% responsibility for your life is
enlightenment. I don't think that implies that we are creating the people we
are in relationship with, from our individual perspective. I think it is
helpful to specifically separate creating a relationship from creating a
person.
Looking back at your note, you didn't say that you were creating a person, so
I am more talking to myself here, trying to see this more clearly from an
energy perspective. Excuse me if this is not relevant to your situation,
Adrienne.
Here's another way to look at it. I'm finding it more fun myself to think of
co-creation these days. It feels more loving to me to recognize and respect
the choices other people are making right now. I want other people to treat
me with respect for my free will choices, so it feels right to make it
reciprocal to me. I'd rather have my friends and beloved feel like divine
playmates who come together with me in joyful mutual attraction rather than
puppets who respond without having a choice in the matter. I am wanting to
trust the Universe to bring me the perfect people, rather than trying to do
the orchestrating about who the perfect people are.
It feels far easier to create a relationship than to create a person. I've
never had the experience of creating a person from scratch, but I've imagined
and attracted many different kinds of relationships, good and bad. As I
think of my mate, I can try to manipulate a specific person to do something
he might or might not want to do right now, or I can dream of having an
experience which makes my heart sing in a particular way.
The Universe can deliver the experience that makes my heart sing in many
ways, through my mate, or perhaps through 1000 different other channels,
leaving my actual mate free to follow his heart in doing what he wants in his
life. This approach has freed me to find love everywhere I go, not just
through the one person I am married to. I have lots of people I love and am
loved by in my life, as well as a wonderful, deeply loving marriage at home,
too. I personally feel more free to be myself in my marriage as I allow my
mate to be more free to be himself, too!
Ilana once said something like this, "I do not create my manifestations. I
create the vibration, and the Fairies of the Universe orchestrate the match
to the vibration."
I'm not at all saying that your lover cannot return, Adrienne. As you
attracted him once, it may well be that you can easily attract him again. I
am saying that perhaps it could be more relaxed and joyful if you see your
perfect mate coming of his own accord in response to your creation of a
blissful, appreciative vibration, rather than by your creation. It feels
softer and more conducive to a long term loving relationship to me that way.
You will, of course, feel your own way through this.
Love, in, around, through and as,
Connee