Ok, so I was going to horde this to myself for a bit longer but I'm about to
burst so I decided to share it.
Yesterday morning, after I did my morning pet sitting rounds, I went back to
sleep and every time I go to sleep I set my intentions to meet my soul mate,
release any limiting beliefs, to see the layout of the dog park, work thru
and release any issues, all in joy and to remember the important bits when I
wake.
Well, this being the high point of summer and my busiest season yet I was
just too tired to do all of that so I just crashed, out like a light in less
than a second and I had the Wildest dream. Every single guy that I've ever
had even the smallest crush on- I'm a girl by the way- was in my dream and I
saw how they turned out, everyone from Han Solo to cute guys from Elementary
school, and those that I've had relationships with as well as my father and
brother. Some were paunchy and bald, others were carrying on numerous
affairs, others were jerks, others were just as I remembered them but there
was no spark of any kind, etc etc. And then there was a conflict between me
and someone else and I got all pissy and stomped off and was heading out of
there, running far and running fast. Just as I was about to get in to my car
someone came up from behind me and wrapped his arms around me and I felt
total peace and relief and at home.
I was lucid enough to ask myself Who Is He? He looked familiar but I
couldn't place him and even in my dream state it was bugging me. We laughed
and talked and then he stood before me and just like I've ALWAYS wanted the
universe provided a neon sign over his head that flashed in rainbow colours,
one flash per colour- "I'm The One", then "Yes REALLY", then "TRUST ME, it's
TRUE.", then "I SWEAR" and then they repeated and I my mouth dropped open
and I just pointed to above his head and he said, "Oh yeah, that. Well
sometimes you're a bit tough to get thru to." And then we both laughed and
then a Grey Hawk appeared on a big rock over his shoulder and I pointed
again, my mouth open again and he said, "Oh, that, well that was just me in
a previous lifetime." ( the significance of that is that a very good psychic
that I talk to once a year told me that the name of my One True Love in this
lifetime would be an old friend that I knew as Grey Hawk and she was
surprised because she never gets names) And then the phone rang and as I was
starting to wake up I heard the hawk cry out and then I remembered who he
was, an old college buddy named Peter.
And then as I'm lying there fighting against consciousness, because I wanted
to go back to my dream, all of the pieces fell in place and Pete is actually
a Perfect match to every intention I've ever had about who I wanted to share
my life with but I'd never thought of him in the romantic way before. I
mean he's gorgeous and sweet and kind and intelligent and All of those
really great things but a mutual friend of ours who was also in our class
had a Major crush on him, is the most innocent person I have EVER known and
for the rest of us that just made Pete off limits. But the more I thought I
about him, the more I realized that he was always there in the important
moments of my life, when I was in Australia at college. We always worked
together when we had a photo gig because we just worked in synch with one
another, and a million different other things.
So I was soon bouncing on my bed and giggling because it just makes Perfect
sense to me that we would be a perfect match. I was a
photojournalism.combat photographer major and he was a
fashion/photojournalism major and was in his early 20's having a blast
chasing the young models around town and I was with Lofts and nothing ever
happened between us, but it just wasn't the time then.
I've never felt so sure about ANYTHING in my life than I am about this,
totally at peace and with no impatience at all. I've run a million
different scenarios thru my mind about how we'll meet and when we'll meet
but it just doesn't matter, it will happen when it's time and I feel no
stress about it at all. And I know that it may be someone that is
represented to me as Pete in my dreams but that's ok too.
I mean EVERY scenario I put him in feels right, staying at the house, being
at the opening of the farm, playing with him the morning of the opening,
getting married with him, having kids with him, him and Cordy playing
together, just EVERYTHING seems right with him in the picture. And I don't
have a clue where he is or what he's doing but for the first time in my life
that's ok, we'll meet when we meet and it will be wonderful and perfect. I
have no stress about my body shape anymore or how I'd play out my future or
anything.
Like the night that Lofts just showed up in my apartment and did that whole
morphing thing, Pete was there before using my darkroom and then there the
next morning, he was there when the ACIM book fell in to my hands, he was
there when ever anything important happened in my life, I just wasn't
looking in his direction. His Grandfather is a vet, as is one of his
parents, he comes from a good sized family, is polite and well mannered and
intelligent and had just finished reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle
Maintenance when I left and I gave him Illusions the night before I left, he
stayed up until he finished reading it and was bouncing to talk about it at
the airport but I had my goodbye to say to Lofts and didn't have time, those
were the first two books I read that got me in to this stuff as well. And
all of the songs that have held special meaning for me that I haven't been
able to attach to anyone make perfect sense if I put Pete in the picture.
So, there you go, I don't how it will all play out but for the first time in
my life I'm not stressed about it or eager for it to happen or anything, it
will happen when it happens and it will be Wonderful.
Just wanted to share that with everyone.
LOVE YA- Juls
