Kimmer writes <snips>
Know what? When you live alone, you have to get to know and like
yourself
REALLY well, no choice. Scary, mucky stuff comes up and demands your
attention, and unless you constantly distract yourself with work or a
whirl
of a social life, you have to face it, because there's no one else there
to
take your attention away from it.
First I had to be completely
honest with myself that I didn't like living alone, and not pretend that
I
did. Then I had to figure out why I didn't like living alone, and the
most
basic reason was that I just didn't like my own company, period.
Then I had to figure out why I didn't like myself, and begin to change
the
things that felt inauthentic and start living with truth and honesty.
Kimmer, thanks for this. It doesn't sound very Abe-ish, but much more like
dharma I have heard and integrated from other sources. The desire to be
authentic, to live with truth and honesty, to really be one with the scary
mucky stuff as well as the twinkly rainbow stuff...to swallow the fiery
ball entire...this strikes me as being at the core of the hero's journey we
are ultimately all called to embark upon and complete.
For me the deepest intersection of Abe and everything else I have learned
and heard is in my knowing that my deepest and most abiding desire is to be
awake, with all that word implies.
Love,
NetPaul
