Getting a bit silly, here's a list of things I refuse to include in
any story I write.
QUIDDITCH!! This is simple. Harry's learned he's got a evil dark lord
out to kill him. Well gee, play quidditch or learn to defend myself.
Tough choice eh? Seriously though, far too many authors hit a
stumbling block so instead of advancing the story they throw a
quidditch game into the story. Now that I've read literally hundreds
of games I refuse put much of a reference to quidditch in our stories.
Games are usually mentioned in a sentence or two.
Ickle - Seriously where the hell did this word come from and do the
British really use it without realizing how silly they sound? Ickle
Ronniekins, Ickle Harrykins, Ickle Albuskins, Icklesmickle. I won't
use it.
Relationships you won't see. Any Teacher with a student. Thats just
wrong. Personally I'd hook Snape up with a hungarian horntail but my
wife likes him. I had to fight with her to go with an evil snape for
this story. She doesn't see snape, she sees some actor named alan
rickman... yawn!
And while I'm at it, here's a pet peeve you won't see in our files
relating to SEX! Yes, thats right sex!
You can tell an author has no clue about sex when (a) the girl loses
her virginity and experiences a massive orgasm on her first time (This
is more a male teenage fantasy than a reality although it can happen),
and (b) manages positions which would break the bones on a
contortionist. First times are rarely pleasant even when you have a
comfortable position let alone having Hermione or Ginny performing a
double flip full gainer with a half twist to impale herself on some guy.
Maybe there should be a law that says you should have a little bit of
experience on the subject before you write about sex?
Ok, I'm done blowing off steam, and going back to writing again. :D
- Bob
