It's my birthday

How are you all today? I am 55 today.

It snowed here yesterday, but fortunately cleared up well enough that last night, Dane and I could safely drive to Kansas City to Lonnie's Reno Club, a jazz supper club in the lower level of the Ambassador Hotel downtown. We met a friend of mine from high school and his wife. It was a great, if expensive, evening. Great food, three course fixed price meal, and great cocktails. Lonnie McFadden is a high energy singer, trumpeter, and tap dancer and puts on a great show. He also had fabulous musicians with him, young people on piano, upright bass, and drums that were just top notch. (I remembered after the evening was over that I'd seen him once before years ago. He used to tap dance at a bar with his brother. They would tap dance ON the bar; it was something to see!)

I have been enjoying having a new kitten in the house. See attached photo.?She was born to a feral cat that hangs around my mom's house. Two weeks ago she was wild and scared, fighting for a place at the food bowl among three teenage cats who'd swat her away (the previous batch of kittens). I fished her out of the basement window well she fell in, and she hissed and spit at me. Now she has free run of my house and is slowly cultivating a relationship with my three-year old cat Squiggy. Since his brother Lenny disappeared, I decided to call this new kitten Lenore, and Lenny for short, so that I'll have a Lenny & Squiggy again (if you don't know those names, here's a compilation of their comical entrances on Laverne & Shirley: ). (If I lose Squiggy too soon I might rename her Laverne and go find a Shirley to keep her company, heh heh)

We had a lovely Thanksgiving at my mom's house. Susan and Scott made the turkey, sweet potatoes, and green beans and brought rolls and apple pie. I made the stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry relish, and pumpkin pie. Dane and I went over the night before to set the table and tried to clear some of the stuff from the kitchen counters so there would be room for prep and to set up the buffet, but my mom resisted. She didn't NEED her calendar for several days, but is very resistant to anything changing.?

It's been rough. She gets worse later in the day and often very agitated (sundowning). I went to a dispensary and got cannabis gummies that are supposed to be fast acting to give her when she gets like this, but so far they haven't seemed to do anything. We tried 1 gummy, then 1.5, then 1.75--that seemed to at least do a little to calm her down. Might go straight to two next time, because the effect didn't seem to last long.?

She has fallen a couple of times, and while we were there tottering right in front of the stairs to the basement, so it may be that we are simply going to have to force her into assisted living before much longer. We were hoping she would recognize the need but I don't think that's going to happen.

We are going to have Christmas Eve at her house like we always have but I'm wondering if it will be our last time. And then have my dad's side of the family over a few days after Christmas. As long as we handle absolutely everything for her (of course) we can do it. That's true of everything about her life though. I go over every morning to give her her morning pills and feed the feral cats. She is alone most days otherwise, unless I take her to the doctor, go back to visit a bit, or if her sister visits her or takes her to church. She's been refusing to go to church for several weeks now though. I did get her out of the house for a quick visit to the coffee shop a couple of weeks ago. And my aunt took her to doctor, senior center for lunch, and walmart one day last week when I was working from her house (like she begs me to do) but was agitated and I needed to lead an important client call and couldn't get her to stop asking me questions. Bless my aunt for turning up, taking her out and distracting her for several hours! (I was also working there that day because I was waiting for the garage door repair person to come over--and it was last minute that I was leading that call; we had some people on vacation and then our project manager had a family emergency so I was suddenly in charge.)

Dane and I go over and clean, sweep, take out trash, etc. I give her a shower twice a week and she fights me on it. Doesn't like the effort of getting undressed and dressed again, doesn't want to be cold (house is stifling by my standards!). Doesn't want to brush her teeth either. I'll be taking her to physical therapy and to have her toenails cut this week, and to the doctor and the dentist next week. All of that in town and not that big a deal--except in the run up to these appointments! She gets so anxious about when, where, what time do I have to be ready, who's taking me, etc. and asking me and my aunt again and again, calling us. Despite the huge clock on the kitchen counter with day, date, time, and the big paper calendar with the appointments. I am considering not letting her have a calendar next year. Like I'll just tell her that day "You have the doctor today at 4; I'll pick you up at 3:45." and not let her agonize over it for a week before (and drive us crazy). However, maybe then with nothing to look at, she'd just be calling me and my aunt all day every day asking "What do I have next?"

I have stuff I want to do at my house but have struggled to find the time when not working and not dealing with Mom to have the energy for the necessary research, phone calls, etc. Or it's stuff I have to do during the day but I've been tied up during the day. I want to get a whole house water filter and have a bunch of tabs open in my browser trying to compare, for weeks now. I definitely need to prioritize getting a desk to be my central hub for paperwork, etc. I have a computer desk but I need one for files, office supplies, bills to pay, etc. Stuff is currently in multiple places and driving me mad.

Ok, that's enough for today. I hope you are having a great Jill's birthday. Who's doing a midpoint check in call? It's getting to be that time! :)

Love

Jill

From the extraordinary heart and mind of

Jill Nienhiser

via jnienhiser@...

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Re: January Shadow Work Weekend for Women in Germantown MD January 24-26

#2268

Here's the postcard!?

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