Hi Abigail, I am not super well versed in clean talk but it seems like you're getting the right idea.
I am thinking maybe when you are giving the reasons, you might say "it makes me afraid and angry for a number of reasons" and then start giving the reasons vs. repeating afraid and/or angry over and over?
Or possibly ranking all those and not saying all of them, but just your top five let's say? You could bring out others if it seems right in the moment.
Gretchen might say differently though. I think she is one of the most comfortable with clean talk.
Good luck!
------- Original Message -------
On Saturday, April 9th, 2022 at 9:58 PM, Abigail J <ajeanh@...> wrote:
Hello Ladies.
I have a current scenario with my rental and landlord. I experience lots of anxiety whenever there is conflict between people I care about / respect. (And I respect my landlord) I wrote up clean talk options in the categories that Gretchen presented. (Thank you!). I would value input as to if I am using Clean talk correctly, are there places I could improve the language, have more clarity, etc.
I plan to write Carole (landlord) tomorrow or Monday so that I state my data, thoughts, emotions, requests before the conflict changes from her sending me verbal text messages to her taking an action.
You can find my brainstorm below in writing. In addition I have attached a document with the same brainstorm. If you have suggestions, feel free to respond or write on the document. (Although it is pdf as I don't have word)
Thank you so much for the support so I can improve my communication skills!
BRAINSTORM
Data
2 days ago, when you asked to remove the double bed for the new massage room rental and replace it with a single bed¡.
Assessment
My assessment is that the double bed is part of this rental.
Emotional Impact
I feel afraid because changing the double bed for a single effects the our nighttime routine.
I feel angry because changing the double bed for a single effects the our nighttime routine.
I feel angry because changing the double bed for a single effects the versatility of how raise our toddler.
I feel angry because changing the double bed for a single effects our family.
I feel angry because changing the double bed for a single effects the ease and flow of our family routines.
I feel angry as because changing the double bed for a single alters our easeful family routines.
I feel angry as that bed bring me a lot of joy.
I feel angry as I use that bed often with Alaric
I feel angry as everyone in this family uses that bed for ease, joy, and versatility.
I feel angry as that bed provides, joy, ease, and versatility to our family.
Notes
There are many reasons why I want that bed. Do I state them all?
Remove word easeful?
Which word is better afraid / angry? I feel both. Or use both?
Is ¡°upset¡± a better word than ¡°angry¡±?
Should I use the word ¡°change¡± as opposed to ¡°effect¡±
The bed brings joy to our family and me specifically. I like looking at the stars with Alaric or out the window in the morning
Request
My request is that the double bed remains in this rental for as long as we are the renters.
My request is that the double bed remains in this rental until Alaric is completely sleeping independently.
Notes
Conclusion
What do you think?
Is that possible?
Other Potential Data
We rented this apartment starting in August and the double bed was here when we moved in.
I don¡¯t have a¡°rental agreement¡± as we made a verbal agreement on pricing once air bnb ¡°time¡± ended. No signed lease.
?Policy says¡. Airbnb.?
Jill