开云体育

?

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
?
Day 145 - Pure Intent
?
Condition #5:
By commanding us, “Do not go as a gossipmonger among your people” (Vayikra 19:16), the Torah is teaching us that to derive pleasure from spreading gossip runs contrary to the mature, dignified character expected of a Jew. Thus, one who derives pleasure from spreading gossip has violated this commandment even when his report brings about a constructive result.
?
Relating what would otherwise be considered rechilus for a constructive purpose is permissible only if one’s intent is solely to accomplish that purpose. Deriving satisfaction from being “involved in the action,” or from aborting the plans of someone who is not well liked, is forbidden.
?
Nevertheless, improper motivation cannot free one of his obligations to impart information for a constructive purpose. The Torah demands that we develop a correct mind-frame and come to the aid of our fellow Jew out of sincere concern.
?
?
SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
?
A Cardinal Rule
?
Generally speaking, unless one is certain that a given statement is not in the category of forbidden speech, he should not utter it. Even if he is inclined to think that it is a mitzvah to utter the statement and that he will receive reward in the World to Come for it, nevertheless, he should refrain from doing so. In this way, he will be saved from Divine retribution.
?
For example, if in fact one was obligated to speak critically of a certain individual and did not do so out of uncertainty, he will be able to come before the Heavenly Court and say, “I was not sure whether or not I was permitted to criticize him to others; therefore I chose to remain silent.’’ Conversely, if he will speak critically of the person when in fact this was wrong, or if he will mistakenly initiate a quarrel out of the conviction that it is a mitzvah to do so — how will he exonerate himself before the Heavenly Court? How will he excuse his having spoken the forbidden and having been the cause of strife? He will not be able to say that his uncertainty impelled him to speak, for if he was uncertain he should not have spoken.

Keep reading Day 146, the lesson for Shabbos

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
?
Day 146 – Constructive Result
?
In day 145, we learned that one may relate rechilus for a constructive purpose only if his intent is pure and unsullied by personal motivation. Indeed, constructive intent is what distinguishes a concerned, responsible individual from a rachil, a gossipmonger.
?
However, proper intent alone is not sufficient to make such talk permissible. Unless there is a reasonable chance that the intended purpose will be accomplished, the speaker – though well-meaning – is guilty of gossipmongering.
?
Occasionally, one finds himself advising friends who are victims of physical or emotional abuse, whether in a family, social or work setting. At times, the victim has yet to grasp the severity of his problem, or does not realize who the responsible party is. Clarifying these matters for the person and advising him how to deal with the other party would appear to be a true act of kindness, a genuine mitzvah.
?
In many such situations, however, the victim lacks the courage to defend himself, and will do little or nothing to improve his lot. When dealing with such a person, it is forbidden to show him how someone else is causing him agony, as that would be purposeless gossip. Sad as it is, one may not make a person better aware of his own situation if he will not make constructive use of such clarification and advice.
?
?
SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
?
Curing the Malady
?
The above lends insight to the verse, “One who guards his mouth and tongue, guards his soul from tribulations” (Mishlei 21:23). Why does this verse stress the negative, that through shmiras haloshon one’s soul is saved from retribution? Why does it not mention the infinite reward of one who avoids forbidden speech as stated in the well-known verse, “Which man desires life, who loves days ... guard your tongue from evil ...’’ (Tehillim 34:13)?
?
We may suggest that the first verse alludes to the necessity of guarding one’s tongue at times when he feels that a derogatory remark might be in place and that its being uttered might even be a mitzvah. Scripture warns us that unless we are absolutely certain that such a remark is called for, we should not express it. Following this approach, we will “guard [our] soul from tribulations;’’ that is, from the Divine retribution that will be forthcoming if in fact the remark is unwarranted. Conversely, a person who will not exercise restraint in such situations will ultimately suffer punishment, instead of the reward he was anticipating for what he mistakenly considered a mitzvah.
?
This concludes our discussion of the primary factors in which speaking loshon hora is rooted: anger, scoffing, arrogance, despair [of abiding by the relevant laws], [considering speech] without rule or regulation, negativity and saying that [a given statement] is permissible [when, in fact, it is not]. One who has been accustomed to speaking loshon hora and seeks to cure himself of this severe malady should begin the process by searching within himself to discover which of the above-mentioned traits are at the root of his problem. He should strive to rid himself of these deficiencies little by little and supplant them with traits that nurture interpersonal relationships and discourage negative talk

#3783

开云体育

?

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
?
Day 147– Weighing the Options
?
Condition #6:
?
As with loshon hora, one may not relate rechilus for a constructive purpose if this purpose can be accomplished through other means (see Day 46).
?
Of course, easiest of all is the direct approach – informing the potential victim of what is being plotted and allowing him to fend for himself. The Torah, however, views this avenue as a last resort. If the option exists, one must protect the victim without his even suspecting that someone is attempting to harm him. (This option does not apply where it is important for the potential victim to be on guard should the other party attempt to harm him at a later point in time.)???
???????????
Obviously, there is a limit to how much effort one is required to invest in protecting his fellow Jew from harm when the person is fully capable of protecting himself. If, in order to avoid involving the potential victim, one would have to dedicate an unreasonable amount of time and energy, it would be permissible to inform the person so that he can protect himself.
?
?
SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
?
Retroactive Guilt
?
One should ponder the fact that at the moment he speaks loshon hora, the Heavenly angels announce his own sins (Roke’ach, Aggadas Mishlei 11:27).
?
Riva (cited by Semak 283) states that if one kills someone who is attempting to commit a capital crime against his fellow (and, as such, should be killed if that is the only way to ensure that the crime will not be committed) and later is guilty of that very same offense, then retroactively, he is considered as if he had shed innocent blood. As proof, Riva cites the episode of King Yeihu who, in killing the members of King Achav’s household, was fulfilling the Divine will as transmitted through prophecy. Yet because Yeihu too was guilty of a degree of idol worship — though his infractions did not approach the heinous acts of Achav — he was held responsible for murdering Achav’s household, as it is written, “And I shall bring to account the blood of [Achav who was killed in] Yizrael upon the house of Yeihu” (Hoshea 1:4).
?
The same applies to any sin between man and his fellow. If one rightfully attacks someone physically (to prevent him from committing a crime), or embarrasses him (for his having publicly disgraced Hashem’s Name), or speaks negatively about him (to prevent him from causing someone else harm), and has committed or later commits that very same offense, then he is considered as if he had acted or spoken against an innocent man. Consequently, he will be subject to Divine retribution as if he had acted or spoken against a Jew whose service of Hashem is wholesome and beyond reproach.

#3788

开云体育

?

Dedicated l'ilui nishmas Glickel Chana bas R' Chaim a"h

SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
?
Day 148 – No Revenge
?
Condition #7:
???????????
The final condition necessary to permit speaking what would otherwise be rechilus for a constructive purpose is that conveying the information does not cause undue harm to the subject. Constructive intent does not justify causing harm to another person.
???????????
Therefore, one cannot inform a person that someone else is about to harm him if the person will respond by harming the plotter. This applies not only to physical or financial retaliation, but even to retaliation in the form of loshon hora in a manner prohibited by halachah.
?
?
SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
?
A Study in Contrasts
?
In summation: A Jew must strive to develop positive character traits, especially with regard to traits that have a major impact on interpersonal relationships. One must strive to assist his fellow to the best of his ability and overlook his fellow’s faults just as he would want others to overlook his own faults. If one’s friend has expressed his anger toward someone else, he should do his best to soothe that anger through reason and explanation — a demonstration of true wisdom and inner strength.
?
A wicked person behaves in the very opposite way. He seeks to damage others, to reveal their unintentional misdeeds and claim that they were committed willfully. The wicked person rejoices over another’s failings, and incites others to feud. He prides himself over his success in such endeavors, as he considers this an indication of his wisdom and might — but of course he is wrong.
?
Midrash Shochar Tov (ch. 52) cites the episode of Doeg’s treachery against David and Achimelech, the Kohen Gadol (High Priest). At a time when King Shaul was in pursuit of David and seeking to harm him, Doeg told Shaul that Achimelech had intentionally helped David to flee from Shaul, which was a lie. Doeg’s slander brought about Achimelech’s death (see I Shmuel chs. 21-22).
?
As the Midrash relates, David told Doeg, “Is a man truly mighty when he sees his fellow at the edge of a pit and pushes him in, when he sees his fellow on top of a roof and pushes him off? On the contrary, a man deserves to be called a mighty warrior when his fellow is about to fall into a pit and he grasps his hand to prevent his fall or when he lifts the fallen man from the pit. But when you saw that Shaul was angry at me, you persisted in vilifying me.’’ Thus did David say, “Why do you pride yourself with evil, O mighty warrior?’’ (Tehillim 52:3).
?

Dedications and Sponsorships

Do you know someone who needs a refuah shleima? A shidduch? Or perhaps a meaningful yahrtzeit is approaching? As a merit for a recovery from illness or for a departed family member you can sponsor a daily email and have over 8,000 people, every day, learn and be inspired as a z’chus for your loved one. Please call 845-352-3505 #113 or email lozeri@... to sponsor or for more information on other sponsorship opportunities.

开云体育

Shmirat Haloshon

开云体育

开云体育

开云体育