Today's Inspiration - easy and meaningful fast
Show Us Again Your Love
A woman complained to the Koznitzer Maggid that her husband had ceased to love her. "When he marreid me," she cried, "he loved me dearly. Now, his affection has turned away from me."
The Maggid lifted up his hands and exclaimed: "I have the same complaint against thee, O Lord. When You chose Israel to be Your bride at Sinai, You did truly love her. Now it seems as if Your affection has departed from her. Be not unto us as this woman's spouse unto her, but show us again Your love and redeem us."
Source: Esser Oroth
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 105 ¨C The Non-Observant
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As we have seen, it is forbidden to listen to negative information in any situation where the speaker is transgressing by relating the information. As it is not permissible to speak loshon hora about a non-observant Jew unless he
is classified as an apikores (heretic), it is forbidden to listen to loshon hora that is being spoken about him. As has already been noted, today the average non-observant Jew is classified as a ¡°tinok she¡¯nishba,¡± (lit., a child who was taken captive), a
victim of ignorance and circumstances and not, God forbid, an apikores.
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As mentioned above, to discuss the life-style of a particular non-observant Jew in order to teach others not to learn from his ways is considered speaking l¡¯toeles, for a constructive purpose, and is permissible. It is therefore also permissible to listen to
such a discussion.
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Similarly, when an individual¡¯s improper behavior is publicized as a way of pressuring him to mend his ways, it is correct to listen, for the goal will never be achieved if everyone chooses to ignore what is being said of the person.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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The Folly of Revenge
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The Sages teach that a single Jew¡¯s sin adversely affects the entire Jewish people. This is because, as mentioned above, all Jews stem from a single source and are like one. When one organ of a body is injured, the entire body is affected.
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The Midrash states (Vayikra Rabbah 4:6):
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¡°A scattered sheep is Israel¡± (Yirmiyahu 50:17). When one of a sheep¡¯s organs become afflicted, all its organs are affected [i.e. they become inflamed, which is not the case with other creatures ¡ª Maharzu]. Similarly, all of Israel can suffer retribution because
of one Jew¡¯s sin.
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R¡¯ Yishmael taught: This can be likened to a group traveling aboard a ship. One of the travelers begins to drill a hole in the floor beneath him. His companions cry out: ¡°What are you doing?!¡¯¡¯ ¡°What do you care?¡¯¡¯ he responds. ¡°I¡¯m drilling only beneath my
seat!¡¯¡¯ ¡°But the boat will become flooded and all of us will drown!¡¯¡¯ the others retort.
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Therefore, be exceedingly careful not to exact revenge from your fellow Jew or bear a grudge towards him, for it is you yourself whom you are hurting! Rather, tell yourself that Heaven has brought this distress about as a result of your sins, and what difference
is there if it came about through this person or through someone else? If you will accept what has happened as an expression of Divine will, it will atone for your sins..1
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Such was the attitude of David when Avishai ben Tzeruyah sought to take revenge from Shimi ben Geira for his having cursed David. Commanding Avishai to refrain from this, David said, ¡°Hashem told him [i.e. permitted him to ¡ª Ralbag] ¡®Curse!¡¯ ¡± (II Shmuel 16:10).
The Sages state that it was because of this acceptance of the Divine will that David merited to be one of the ¡°supports¡¯¡¯ of the Divine chariot (Shevet Mussar 20:27 citing Midrash).
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In explaining the prohibition against taking revenge, Sefer HaChinuch writes: ¡°Among the roots of this mitzvah is that a person know and take to heart that whatever
happens to him, whether for good or for bad, is brought about by Hashem, Blessed is He, for nothing can occur that is contrary to His will. Therefore, when one is pained or annoyed by another, he should realize that his sins have caused this and that this
has been decreed by Hashem. Thus he should not turn his thoughts to revenge, for this person is not the real cause of his hurt; rather, sin is the cause.¡¯¡¯ This explanation does not discount the fact that the one who caused hurt did so of his own free will
and will be held accountable for his misdeed.
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 104 ¨C Children
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It is a parent¡¯s responsibility to sensitize his or her child to the evils of loshon hora and help the child to develop self-control in this area. At the same time, it is a parent¡¯s responsibility to provide his or her child with
emotional support and assistance. The overzealous parent can cause a child irreparable harm by forever scolding when reassurance is in order; however, failure to discipline one¡¯s child is no less harmful. One must learn to discern between situations where
a child is relating an incident because he needs his parent¡¯s help, and when he is speaking loshon hora for no good reason.
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A child should be taught that if interesting events of the day include negative facts about others, then names should be omitted. To relate how a certain child misbehaved in class is to speak loshon hora, even if what that child did was clever and amusing.
Conversely, it is perfectly correct for a child to reveal the identity of a boy who interferes with his own activity or disrupts him during class time.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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The Unity of the Jewish People
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The following sublime insight is found in S¡¯mag (9); its source is Talmud Yerushalmi (Nedarim 9:4):
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Suppose a man were walking along a path and one of his feet would trip over the other, causing him to fall to the ground and suffer cuts and bruises. Would he seek revenge of the ¡°guilty¡± foot and refrain from trying to heal its wounds? Would he harbor any
ill will toward that foot? Obviously not, for his feet, hands, face, etc. are all parts of one body ¡ª his own. If anything, he might reflect upon his deeds, and view his sins as the true cause of his mishap.
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Similarly, if a neighbor refuses to do a favor that one has asked of him, or even if he has caused one heartache or has shamed him in any way, one should not seek revenge or bear a grudge against him. For who is ¡°oneself¡± and who is ¡°one¡¯s fellow¡±? ¡ª both stem
from the same source, as it is written, ¡°And who is like Your nation, Israel, one nation on earth?¡¯¡¯ (I Divrei HaYamim 17:21).
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The Torah states: ¡°All the souls of the house of Yaakov who came to Egypt, seventy¡± (Bereishis 46:27). The Hebrew word for souls is nefashos. Yet in this verse, the singular form, nefesh, is used, alluding to the fact that in Heaven, the souls of the people
of Israel are like one. Each Jewish soul, while part of one whole, is distinct and unique, like a person whose body is a single unit comprised of many individual parts, each with its own distinct and unique function. All Jewish souls will eventually be gathered
in to one source, beneath the Heavenly Throne, as it is written, ¡°And the soul of my master shall be bound in the bond of life¡± (I Shmuel 25:29).
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It is only in this world, where each soul is clothed in its own physical body and is involved in its own personal matters, that one sees himself as a distinct entity, apart from his fellow Jew. In truth, however, all Jews are one in a very real sense
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Re: I'm Looking for a handyman
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Have you done the small job yet?
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Going Back
The "Yud" declared that if a man does not feel that he has advanced in holiness during the day, it is certain that he has fallen back. He was better the day before. A man always moves; he never stands still. If he does not advance, he retrogrades."
Source: Niflaoth ha-Yehudi
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 103 ¨C Between Husband and Wife
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We have already seen that there are no grounds for sharing gossip with one¡¯s spouse (Day 16). To view withholding loshon hora from one¡¯s spouse as a breach of harmony and trust is mistaken. (A husband and wife who seek to have the
Divine Presence dwell in their midst should build their home on the foundations of halacha and avoid conversations which promote strife and dissension among Jews.) Moreover, sharing negativity (e.g. information, feelings, etc.) does not help create a healthy,
positive relationship.
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Nevertheless, when a husband or wife is in need of emotional support in dealing with difficulty, it is only natural to look to one¡¯s spouse for assistance. Speaking or listening under such circumstances is constructive and is clearly permissible.
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When possible, one should attempt to help one¡¯s spouse understand the situation in a way that would relieve his or her anger or frustration.
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If one finds that his or her spouse is forever in need of ¡°letting off steam,¡± it is important to try to bring about a general change of attitude through discussion, reading or audio material, or suggesting a meeting with a rabbi or other qualified individual.
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A word of caution: While one must be prepared to hear out a spouse and offer emotional support when necessary, one must be ever vigilant not to be drawn into a conversation of loshon hora for no constructive purpose. It is often the case that couples fail to
draw this distinction, and consequently totally ignore the laws of shmiras halashon when conversing.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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The Way of a Jew
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Tanna D¡¯Vei Eliyahu Rabbah (ch. 28) states:
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The Holy One, Blessed is He, said to Israel: My beloved children! Is there anything I lack that I should have to ask of you? All I ask of you is that you love one another, that you honor one another, that you respect one another. In this way, no sin, robbery,
or base deed will be found among you, so that you will remain undefiled forever. Thus it is written, ¡°He has told you, O man, what is good, and what Hashem seeks of you ¡ª only the doing of justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly with Hashem, your God¡±
(Michah 6:8).
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If it happens that one¡¯s fellow acted improperly towards him, one must not take revenge or bear a grudge. Rather, one must erase the matter from his heart, and seek to do good in every way with that person, just as he would with any other Jew, as if nothing
negative had ever come between them. This is what the Torah requires of us, as it is written, ¡°You shall not take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge against the members of your people; you shall love your fellow as yourself¡± (Vayikra 19:18).
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Zohar states (Parashas Mikeitz p. 201b):
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Note the following: Not only did Yosef not repay his brothers in kind [for their having sold him], but he acted toward them with kindness and truth. Such is always the way of the righteous. Therefore, the Holy One, Blessed is He, forever watches over them,
in this world and in the next. |
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Photos of Shuk Machane Yehuda - Centennial Celebration
Hi Everyone!
Today, the Mahane Yehuda street market in Jerusalem started
the celebrations in honor of 100 years in business.
I decided in the late afternoon to go for a visit and I took photos
of the market and the entertainment.
BTW - I looked at the rugelach more than once, but I was able
to resisit the temptation :-)
Enjoy the photos!
Please share. Thank You!
Have a good week!
Shavua Tov,
Jacob
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The Farmer's Egg
Said the Besht: "A farmer held an egg in his hand and mused: 'I shall place this egg under a hen; then I shall raise up the chick and it shall hatch other chicks; I will sell them, and purchase a cow and...' While planning thus, he squeezed the egg and it broke in his fingers.
"In the same fashion some people are satisfied with the sum of holiness and knowledge they have attained, and think constantly that they are superior to others. But they do not perceive that by doing this, they lose even the little they have attained."
Source: Kesser Shem Tov
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 100 ¨C Inquiries???????
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In light of the above (see Day 98), if one must inquire about a person, family, community, or school in order to make an important decision, but does not want others to know what he is contemplating, he may not engage people in
casual conversation with the aim of obtaining pertinent derogatory or harmful information. Unaware that his speech is constructive, the speaker is guilty of speaking loshon hora, and the listener who drew him into conversation has caused him to sin.
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Thus, when soliciting necessary information, one must make it clear to the other person that circumstances permit this and that his response, therefore will not constitute loshon hora.
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A common practice in such situations is not only to refrain from divulging the purpose of the inquiry, but also to inquire about several people at once, so as to conceal the fact that it is a particular person about whom one is seeking information. This is
absolutely forbidden. The desire to protect one¡¯s privacy does not justify irrelevant negative information and causing others to speak loshon hora.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Love Your Fellow Jew
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Fulfillment of the mitzvah to judge one¡¯s fellow favorably and development of the quality of shmiras haloshon both hinge on the fulfillment of ¡°You shall love your fellow as yourself¡± (Vayikra 19:18). If one truly loves his fellow Jew, surely he will not speak
negatively of him; to the contrary, he will seek any possible merit for his actions, as he would for himself.
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If one were to commit an act which appeared improper, and he were to learn that his action was being talked about by others, surely he would fervently hope that someone would speak up in his defense and explain that, for whatever reason, he was not at fault.
This is exactly what one should do when someone else¡¯s behavior comes under scrutiny.
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Moreover, to love one¡¯s fellow as oneself is to help him avoid situations which would result in his suffering shame or criticism.
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Let us suppose that one finds himself for an extended period of time in a city whose customs are foreign to him. He would seek out a loyal friend in that city who could familiarize him with local customs and inform him privately when his behavior might evoke
negative feelings among the city¡¯s inhabitants. In this way, he would be forewarned of anything which could possibly cause him distress or embarrassment. One should act toward his fellow in exactly this manner. If one sees another Jew doing that which could
ultimately lead to his distress or embarrassment, he is obligated to warn him of this.
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???????????? Keep reading for Day 101, the lesson for Shabbos
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 101 ¨C Soliciting Information: Preconditions
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As it is forbidden to cause another Jew to transgress, one may not solicit information unless it is clearly permissible for the other person to offer such information. Thus, in order to solicit information, the following conditions
must be met:
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(1)?? The person from whom information is being sought is not known to fabricate stories about others, to read into their behavior in an unjust manner, or to draw hurried conclusions about their character;
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(2)?? And the person is not known to exaggerate in his descriptions of events;
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(3) and it can be assumed that when informed that the information is necessary, he will not speak out of????? ??malice toward the subject; (thus, one may not seek information from a person who is not on good terms with the subject); and
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(4) it is clear that the information is necessary for a constructive purpose, and that there is no alternative?????? to soliciting such information.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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With Love and Respect
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We find that the Sages willingly brought shame upon themselves in order to save another person from being shamed:
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It happened once that Rabban Gamliel said: ¡°Awaken seven judges for me and have them come to the attic.¡¯¡¯ The next morning, Rabban Gamliel awoke and found eight judges in the attic. He declared, ¡°Whoever ascended without permission should descend.¡¯¡¯ Shmuel
HaKattan arose and said, ¡°I am the one who ascended without permission.¡¯¡¯ ... It was not really Shmuel HaKattan who ascended without permission, but someone else. It was only because of the embarrassment that person would have suffered that Shmuel HaKattan
made his admission (Sanhedrin 11a).
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Surely, then, one should help his friend correct any improper behavior that could lead to his embarrassment. Certainly if one sees his fellow acting in a manner which is contrary to halachah, he is obligated to inform him of this privately and, if necessary,
rebuke him. In so doing, one fulfills both the commandment to reprove one¡¯s fellow (Vayikra 19:17) and the commandment to love one¡¯s fellow as oneself.
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When one helps his fellow Jew to improve his Divine service, he brings great satisfaction, as it were, to Hashem. Conversely, when one disparages his fellow before others for his having behaved incorrectly, what does the One Above gain from this?
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Do you know someone who needs a refuah shleima? A shidduch? Or perhaps a meaningful yahrtzeit is approaching? As a merit for a recovery from illness or for a departed
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 102 ¨C Irrelevant, But Permissible
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In the cases discussed thus far, the determining factor in making
it permissible to listen to negative speech was relevance. If the information is important, in a constructive sense, for the listener to hear, it is proper for him to give his attention to what is being spoken, and at times to even solicit such information.
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There are times when halacha permits listening to negative information which is of no relevance to the listener or any of his acquaintances. Where the speaker feels the need to express his anger or frustration for relief of emotional pain, one is doing an act
of chesed (kindness) by hearing the person out and expressing understanding of his feelings. If the listener feels that the speaker can be made to understand how he misjudged the person responsible for his frustration, he is obligated to do so. (Often, however,
a person expressing his frustrations is in need of empathy and is not open to logic. At a later point, after the speaker has calmed down, the listener could approach him and attempt to explain how he may have misunderstood the situation.)
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Care must be taken to keep the speaker from wandering from the matter at hand, and speaking irrelevantly about other faults of the one whom he feels has wronged him. Furthermore, one listening in such a situation must take care not to accept what he hears as
fact.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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A Father¡¯s Pain
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Picture the following: A boy has done something improper. One of the boy¡¯s companions announces to a crowd what the boy has done. Present at this announcement is the boy¡¯s father who, understandably,
is quite upset. He tells the one who publicized his son¡¯s iniquity: ¡°Had you rebuked my son in private, with no one else present, I would have been deeply grateful to you. Why did you have to make known his deed to the public? What you have accomplished is
to make him an object of ridicule and disgrace. It seems to me that your intentions were not honorable. You were not out to correct my son¡¯s behavior; rather, you sought to damage his reputation and rejoice over his disgrace.¡¯¡¯
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Such is the way of Hashem concerning the Jewish people, of whom it is written, ¡°You are children to HASHEM, Your God¡± (Devarim 14:1). Hashem, as it were, rejoices at our joy, and is pained at our suffering. When a Jew rebukes his fellow in public, in the presence
of our Father in Heaven, Whose glory fills the earth, can He take any pleasure from this?
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One should be forever cognizant of Rambam¡¯s statement that one is required to be as concerned for another Jew¡¯s possessions and honor as he is for his own (Hilchos Aveil 14:1).
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Rays of the Spirit
Said the Sudilkover: "Every human action sends a ray of the spirit into the realm of divinity like a stream of running water. When the channel is clean, the water running through it is pure. Likewise, if a man's action is worthy, its spiritual influence makes for holiness. Let us beware lest we send up rays of impurity."
Source: The Hasidic Anthology
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If you have back pain of any kind, call us and ask us how TerraCure creams can help YOUR back feel alot better.
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Unit for rent in Bein Hazmanim
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