Day 61 ¨C With No Alternative
? If after giving a situation much thought, a teacher comes to the conclusion that a particular student has a behavioral or learning problem and feels that it will not be possible to deal with the problem without the involvement
of the principal, his colleagues, or the student¡¯s parents, then the teacher should speak to the necessary party without delay.
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Condition 5 of constructive speech (see Day 50) is that the speaker¡¯s intent be purely for constructive reasons and not out of anger or frustration.? This could be extremely trying when the student in question is disruptive and frequently upsets the teacher.?
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Difficult as it is, teachers must not take students¡¯ behavior personally.? The disruptive student is, in most cases, not fighting the teacher; he is struggling with himself as he deals with the challenges of life.
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? SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON ? Pure and Wholesome ?
By rejecting loshon hora as false, one ensures that his study of Torah and fulfillment of other mitzvos remain wholesome and untainted.
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One who is in the habit of listening to loshon hora is liable to lose thousands of mitzvos which he could have performed ¡ª specifically, the many responses of ¡°Amen¡± and ¡°Yehei Shemei Rabbah¡±, and the many minutes of Torah study that can be lost while listening
to gossip. Generally speaking, gossipmongers are eager to sell their ¡°wares¡± to anyone who is willing to listen and at any time, even in the synagogue while prayers are in progress and in the study hall while Torah is being learned. They carry on conversations
while Kaddish is being recited, during the chazzan¡¯s repetition of the Shemoneh Esrei, and during the public Torah reading.
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When a person is known to refrain from listening to loshon hora, gossipmongers will avoid speaking in his presence, even when their words are intended for others to hear and not for him.
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One who seeks to be completely innocent of the sin of accepting loshon hora should, on a steady basis, speak to the members of his immediate family regarding the imperative of shmiras haloshon. He should tell them of both the great reward for being zealous
in matters of speech and the severe retribution that one may incur for transgressing the sins of speaking and accepting loshon hora.
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