SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 165 ¨C Constructive Listening
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Just as it is not lowly to speak (what would otherwise be considered) rechilus for a constructive purpose, so too it is not wrong to listen to rechilus if the listener honestly believes that it is important for him to be aware
of the information. This includes any discussion that could help the listener protect himself from others who plan to harm him, or to protect others from damage about to be inflicted upon them. It is also permissible to listen to information that could be
of help in rectifying damage already done to oneself or others.
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In these cases, the discussion is not labeled as ¡°gossip¡±; rather it is constructive speech.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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The Lazy Traveler
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King David pleaded, ¡°I am a sojourner in the world; hide not Your commandments from me¡± (Tehillim 119:19). Man is but a sojourner on this earth; the World to Come is his eternal home. Realizing that his days of Torah study were numbered, David begged Hashem
to reveal to him the wisdom inherent in His commandments.
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Iyov declared, ¡°There is a fixed service-term for man upon earth¡± (Iyov 7:1). A person¡¯s life-span on this earth is allotted to him with exacting precision. Therefore, one cannot tell himself that he will compensate for having wasted one day by making constructive
use of the next day. Each day is a gift for itself; if squandered, it is lost forever.
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This can be illustrated with a parable: A man who had been unable to earn a livelihood sailed to a faraway land in the hope of finding some way to provide for his family. He remained there for some twenty years, accomplishing nothing in all that time. Lazy
by nature, he spent his days strolling here and there, surviving on an occasional handout.
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One day, he was surprised to meet a neighbor from his hometown. ¡°I can¡¯t believe that you¡¯ve spent all these years doing nothing!¡¯¡¯ the neighbor exclaimed. ¡°Didn¡¯t you come here to find a proper livelihood for yourself?¡¯¡¯
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¡°Oh, I¡¯m quite aware of that,¡¯¡¯ the man responded, ¡°but I still have plenty of time for that ¡ª I¡¯ve only been here twenty years!¡¯¡¯
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¡°Have you lost your mind?¡¯¡¯ the neighbor retorted. ¡°Even if you would be a permanent resident of this land, it would be ridiculous for you to have wasted so many years of your life. The facts being what they are make your story most incredible. For you came
to this land temporarily, for the express purpose of providing for your family. How, then, could you have spent so many years accomplishing nothing?!¡¯¡¯
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Some people spend their younger years accomplishing little spiritually, content to enjoy what they perceive as the ¡°good life¡¯¡¯ in this world. They know that life here is not forever, that it is the next world where the soul lives on eternally. However, they
convince themselves that there will be time in their old age to concern themselves with matters of the spirit. And so, ten, twenty or more years swiftly pass, as the cycle of work and relaxation repeats itself again and again, with little earned for the long
road that all men eventually travel. Those with such an attitude are like the man in our parable who failed to recognize the real purpose of his journey.
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Let us make the most of our years, days and hours. The potential for accomplishment is without limit. |
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Keep reading Day 166, the lesson for Shabbos
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 166 ¨C Informing the Speaker
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For one to listen to rechilus within the framework of halachah, it is not sufficient that the listener be justified in paying attention to the information being conveyed; the speaker, too, must have constructive intent. If the
speaker is unaware that the information he is relating is of significance to the listener, then he is guilty of speaking rechilus. The listener, then, is cause for the speaker¡¯s transgression and has violated the prohibition ¡°Before a blind person do not place
a stumbling block¡± (Vayikra?19:14), which prohibits one from causing another Jew to sin.
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Thus, it is the responsibility of the listener to explain to the speaker that the information is important for him to hear and is therefore not considered gossip.
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If the speaker was already in the process of relating the gossip to others when a person to whom the information is relevant appeared on the scene, he would not be guilty of causing the speaker to transgress. Even so, it is proper for the listener to explain
why he is listening, so that the others will realize that he is not transgressing and that he considers their non-constructive listening a sin.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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The Waters of Torah
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It is clear that through shmiras haloshon one saves himself from transgressing thousands of sins each year ¡ª literally. Moreover, in place of these potential sins, one earns for himself thousands of merits.
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Let us suppose that a given individual begins to exercise caution in matters of speech and thus refrains from speaking (on the average) ten forbidden words per day which he otherwise would have spoken. This means that each year he exercises self-control in
not expressing more than three thousand forbidden words. The Talmud states, ¡°One who sits and does not commit a sin is given reward equivalent to that of one who performs a mitzvah¡± (Kiddushin 39b). Above, we have cited a Midrash quoted by the Vilna Gaon that
the reward for refraining from speaking the forbidden is beyond the comprehension of angels.
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For one who has a fixed daily Torah study session, the quality of shmiras haloshon can ensure that his learning is not interrupted by idle chatter. Aside from the sin of speaking loshon hora, the sin of bitul Torah, unwarranted disruption of Torah study, is
most severe. To disrupt one¡¯s Torah learning shows a lack of regard for this greatest of mitzvos and causes one¡¯s learning to be fractured and lack the power and accomplishment of continuous study. In the sphere of Torah study, a half hour plus a half hour
does not equal one hour.
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Torah study is a prime antidote against the impurity wrought by sin, including that of loshon hora. Sifre (Devarim?11:22)
likens Torah study to the waters of a mikveh, which purify. It follows then that just as the mikveh purifies from an impurity which encompasses the entire person, so too does Torah purify even if one¡¯s being is totally immersed in the morass of sin.
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However, just as the mikveh purifies only when there is no chatzitzah, interposition, between the person¡¯s body and the water, so too can the purifying effects of Torah elevate the person only when he is totally immersed in its study.
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