SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 88 ¨C Matters of Opinion????????????????????????
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Subjective questions about people are most difficult to answer:
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?¡°Is he a talmid chacham?¡±? ¡°Is she intelligent?¡±
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Each of these terms is relative, for at what point does a student of Torah become a ¡°talmid chacham,¡± and how does one measure intelligence? Lack of a definitive barometer is a problem with most character traits as well, making accurate evaluations in these
areas extremely difficult.
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Furthermore, we have seen that one may not provide information that could prevent a match from materializing unless the information provides valid basis for this. How, then, does one correctly provide information when asked?
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It is clear that it is unwise for a party to approach an acquaintance with a request for such information. In fact, the Chofetz Chaim says that such inquires warrant no response. However, one may bring such questions before a rav, rosh yeshiva, or seminary
dean, etc. who has the wisdom and experience to evaluate a situation properly and offer an appropriate response. Others who are approached with such questions may direct the person to the proper authority.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Best of All
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Shimon his [Rabban Gamliel¡¯s] son says: ¡°All my days I have been raised among the Sages and I found nothing better for oneself than silence¡± (Avos?1:17).
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R¡¯ Shimon is, in effect, saying: ¡°I was reared among the Sages and had the opportunity to glean from all their precious, sacred qualities. And of all those qualities, the art of silence is most outstanding.¡¯¡¯
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Alternatively, R¡¯ Shimon may have meant the following: The Sages were the wisest of men and surely did not engage in pointless conversation. Nevertheless, there was nothing, aside from speaking words of Torah, which they found more beneficial to themselves
than silence.
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R¡¯ Shimon was precise in saying: ¡°and I found nothing better for oneself ...¡± Man¡¯s corporeal existence in this world makes it virtually impossible for even the purest of souls to ensure that his every utterance is without flaw. This is why silence is so desirable.
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If such was true of the generation of R¡¯ Shimon, whose Sages were accustomed to speaking only words of true wisdom, then what of ourselves, whose minds are preoccupied with matters devoid of substance and meaning? If one¡¯s mouth will not be restrained by the
harness of silence, then invariably it will speak in the way that it has been accustomed since one¡¯s youth, and the loss will outweigh the gain many times over.
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