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Day 135 – Sensitivities
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To cause outright animosity between Jews is to speak rechilus; to effect a minor degree of ill feeling between Jews is to speak Avak Rechilus. An example of the latter is where one relates that someone spoke about the listener in a manner which is neither derogatory nor harmful, but which may cause the listener to be disappointed with that individual. The classic example of this is where Hashem spoke critically to Avraham of Sarah for her having expressed incredulity upon hearing an angel (disguised as a wayfarer) say that she would bear a child. Hashem said, “Why did Sarah laugh, to say, ‘Shall I in truth bear a child, though I have aged?’ ” (Bereishis?18:13). In fact, Sarah had said, “And my husband is old.” (V. 12). Talmud Yerushalmi (Pe’ah 1:1) states that to repeat such a statement would be to speak avak rechilus. Now, to say that a man of ninety-nine is old is neither derogatory nor damaging. However, it is a bit discomforting for a person of advanced age to hear that his spouse speaks of him as an “old man;” therefore, to report such a remark is to speak avak rechilus.
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More Points to Ponder
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One should ponder the severe retribution, both in this world and the next, which is liable to result from arrogance. The Talmud states that arrogance causes one’s properties to become ruined (Succah 29b) and one’s resources to become depleted (Sotah 5a). The Sages further state (ibid.) that regarding an arrogant person, Hashem says, “He and I cannot dwell together in the world.’’ Rabbi Elazar said: “Whoever is arrogant will not awaken at the time of the Resurrection” (ibid.). This last punishment is measure for measure. Instead of pondering the fact that he will ultimately be laid to rest in the earth, the arrogant person acts as if he will enjoy prominence forever, living a life of stature in which he will always be a notch above everyone else. Because of his sinful attitude, when his body will become part of the dust of the earth, it will lack the power to come back to life. When everyone else will return to life, he will remain asleep, underneath the feet of the people above whom he had glorified himself.
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Furthermore, arrogance makes one repulsive before Hashem, as it is written, “Despicable to Hashem are all who are arrogant of heart” (Mishlei 16:5).

Continue reading Day 136, the lesson for Shabbos

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Day 136 – Secrets

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The most severe form of avak rechilus involves statements that reveal information which was told in confidence. (Sharing confidential information to save someone from harm will be discussed later.) Divulging secrets breeds a lack of self control in speech-related matters which leads to actual rechilus.

When publicizing a secret could prove damaging, doing so would constitute speaking both avak rechilus and actual loshon hora. Even when no damage was foreseen, the mere violation of confidentiality renders one a “holech rochil,” gossipmonger.

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Lost Opportunities

When one ponders his great poverty in Torah study and performance of other mitzvos, he realizes that he has nothing to be arrogant about. As the Sages put it, “If you lack knowledge, then what have you acquired?’’ (Bereishis Rabbah 1:6). And if one does have a bit of Torah and mitzvos to his credit, nevertheless, honest reflection will result in the realization that he has utilized only a fraction of the potential with which he has been Divinely endowed.

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This last point is illustrated by the following parable:

?A businessman sent two of his employees, David and Yaakov, to a faraway land to buy precious gems. To David, the businessman gave one thousand gold coins; to Yaakov, he gave one hundred. On the way, the two squandered much of their money on worthless merchandise. By the time they arrived at their destination, David had two hundred coins remaining, while Yaakov was left with forty.

One day the two became embroiled in a dispute. In his rage, David shouted, “You are but a pauper compared to me, for I possess five times the amount of money that you have!’’

An outsider who had been listening to the argument spoke up, “What are you boasting about, you fool?! Everyone knows that the money which you have with you is not your own. In fact, you are far poorer than Yaakov. Both of you have squandered away your employer’s money. However, you have wasted eight hundred coins, while Yaakov wasted only sixty. What will you do when your employer will demand an accounting of all the money he gave you? You will find yourself burdened with an enormous debt and will be filled with shame — far more shame than the man to whom you are boasting!’’
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Every soul that descends to this world is an emissary of Hashem, endowed with a mission to perfect his soul in accordance with its Divinely endowed abilities. It is foolish for a person to feel proud that he has been blessed with superior intellect, for his intellect is not his own acquisition. Rather, it has been granted him by Hashem so that he can accomplish his unique purpose in this world. Therefore, one should ponder how he has used his inborn gifts, how he has spent each of his days, and how much valuable time he has squandered. It may well be that the man of superior intellect and talent has used but a small fraction of his inborn abilities. As such, he certainly has nothing of which to be proud.

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