SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 113 ¨C Exception to the Rule
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We have already seen that one may not believe even his spouse or close confidants when they relate negative information about others. At most, he may consider the possibility that the information might be true.
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The Talmud states that one exception to this rule is where the listener considers the speaker to be a man of unusual integrity whose words are weighed very carefully. Such a person can be trusted to relate an incident exactly as it happened,
to the extent that the listener can consider himself as having witnessed it, and thus may accept the report as fact. Nevertheless, since the decision that the speaker is trustworthy is a personal one made by the listener, he cannot pass the information on
to others as if he had witnessed it ¨C even for a constructive purpose.
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The Chofetz Chaim is of the opinion that today no one can claim to have the degree of integrity necessary for his words to be accepted as fact, and it is therefore forbidden for anyone to believe a negative statement on the basis of someone
else¡¯s report.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Three Levels
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Those who are insulted and do not insult, who hear their disgrace and do not respond, who act out of love and are happy in their affliction, regarding them does Scripture state (Shoftim 5:31): ¡°But they who love Him shall be like the sun going
forth in its might¡± (Shabbos 88b).
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The commentators understand this passage as enumerating three distinct levels of reaction to insult:
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(1) Those who are insulted and do not insult, but they do respond in some way.
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(2) Those who hear their disgrace and do not respond at all, lest their response evoke further insult and disparagement. In their hearts, though, they harbor bitterness toward their abuser.
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(3) Those who act out of love and are happy in their affliction, meaning, whose love of Hashem impels them not to respond to insult and to accept their affliction [i.e. disgrace] with gladness.
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It is when a person attains this third and highest level that he merits the great reward with which the passage concludes. Such attainment is indicative of his sanctity of soul and pure faith in Hashem, Who guides the happenings of mankind,
as it is written, ¡°For His eyes are upon the ways of man¡± (Iyov 34:21). It is with recognition of Hashem¡¯s involvement in all man¡¯s affairs, and belief that whatever difficulties one encounters are ultimately for the good, that a person is able to bear insult
without ill will and with a happy heart.
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 114 ¨C ¡°Innocent Remarks¡±
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There are times when halacha accepts as fact ¡°innocent¡± remarks, i.e. statements made in passing without the speaker being aware of the consequences of his words. As a rule, people do not lie unnecessarily, so that when a person does not realize
that he is saying something of significance, it can be assumed that he is telling the truth.
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Halacha grants such statements the status of testimony in two instances:
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1) Where it is certain that ultimately the true story will be revealed to all. People do not fabricate tales when it is clear that their lies will be revealed as such.
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2) To establish that an individual is no longer alive.
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¡°Innocent¡± negative statements are not granted any such legitimacy. They are loshon hora and one is not permitted to believe them.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Growth Through Tribulation
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The Sages teach:
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Rabbi Eliezer ben Yaakov said: One should feel a sense of gratitude toward the Holy One, Blessed is He, when suffering comes upon him. Why? Because suffering draws a person close to Him, as it is written, ¡°Hashem reproves the one whom He loves¡±
(Mishlei 3:12).
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When suffering comes upon a person, he should accept it and withstand [the test], for its reward is infinite (Midrash Tanchumah, Parashas Ki Seitzei 2).
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¡°Wait silently for [the salvation of] Hashem, and wait longingly for Him¡± (Tehillim 37:7). Place your hope in the Holy One, Blessed is He. If He brings afflictions upon you, do not demonstrate disdain; rather, accept your lot like [one would
accept] musical instruments [(the Hebrew word for) ¡°wait longingly¡± can homiletically be related to ¡°flutes¡±] (Yalkut Shimoni, Tehillim 729).
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To accept insult without bitterness, with the knowledge that all that transpires is an expression of Divine will, is to accept a form of affliction, as the passage above states: [Those who are insulted and do not insult ...], who act out of
love and are glad in their affliction.1 The reward for such acceptance is without measure.
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Once, the tzaddik R¡¯ Zalman of Volozhin (disciple of the the Vilna Gaon) was traveling with his brother, R¡¯ Chaim. When they arrived at a certain inn, the innkeeper spoke harshly to them and refused to grant them a room for the night. Later, as they
resumed their journey, R¡¯ Chaim noticed his brother crying. ¡°Why are you crying?¡¯¡¯ he asked. ¡°Did you then pay attention to the innkeeper¡¯s words? I ignored them completely!¡± R¡¯ Zalman replied: ¡°Heaven forfend that I should cry over being insulted. I am crying
because I sense a slight inner hurt as a result of his words. I cry that I have not yet attained the level of ¡®Those who are insulted ... and are glad in their affliction¡¯ ¡± (from Sefer Toldos Adam).
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Continue reading Day 115, the lesson for Shabbos
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 115 ¨C Confirming Suspicions???
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The Torah does not accept circumstantial evidence as proof of a person¡¯s guilt. Thus, when one suspects an individual of improper behavior, he may not decide that his suspicions are correct based on the person¡¯s reactions to accusations or
other strange behavior that strongly points to his guilt.
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Nevertheless if, in addition to the circumstantial evidence, such suspicions are subsequently supported by someone else¡¯s claim to have actually witnessed the person engaging in such behavior, one does have the right to believe that his suspicions
are correct.
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However, to whatever degree possible, the listener is still obliged to judge the perpetrator favorably; he must seek to understand his motives and should not be swift to condemn him.
Moreover, one may not pass on the information without fulfilling the preconditions for relating negative information for a constructive purpose.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Dealing with Humiliation
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The author of Sefer Chareidim writes:
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Whenever someone insults or humiliates me in public, I place a scale before my eyes: On one side are my sins, on the other side are the insults and humiliations which have been directed toward me. I see the side of my sins weighing down lower
and lower, and I choose to bear my disgrace in silence and tell myself that I deserve it. I do this whenever faced with any sort of distress, be it through another¡¯s word or deed (Sefer Chareidim 4:5).
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The average person would prefer to suffer humiliation if this will prevent him from suffering monetary loss, as when his property is threatened by fire or other means of devastation. How much more should one be willing to suffer humiliation
if this will save his soul from punishment? Certainly, then, one should react to humiliation with silent acceptance
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