Shmirat Haloshon

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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 110 – Expressing Frustration
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We have learned that speaking negatively for the sake of one’s own emotional well-being is an acceptable form of constructive speech. It is reasonable for one to express anger and frustration about an individual to one’s parent, spouse or mentor to obtain sympathy, reassurance and advice, and it is the obligation of the listener to provide such support.
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However, even in such situations, the listener may not decide in his own mind that the report is true, for as far as he is concerned, the information is only secondhand. It is therefore imperative that the following understanding exist between those who take part in such discussions:
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Halacha permits one to occasionally “let off steam” and express his frustrations to someone else. However, it is obvious that one who is involved in a disagreement to the point of anger, or considers himself the victim of verbal abuse, lacks the ability to be objective. Any negativity expressed under such circumstances is to be understood as a description of the speaker’s feelings and not as an accurate account of what actually took place.
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In this way, a husband and wife or close friends can rely on one another for emotional support without transgressing the laws of proper speech.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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A Heartfelt Plea
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Tanna D’Vei Eliyahu (I, ch. 19) states:
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Master of the Universe! Take note of our suffering ... and allow the disgrace which we endure at every hour to rise up before You. Remember the many heads of families among Israel who have no livelihood, yet toil in Torah each day, continually. Remember the many poor among Israel, who have their flesh torn from their bodies by the nations of the world [through taxes and other monetary demands], yet toil in Torah each day, continually. Remember the youth among Israel who know not their right from their left [i.e. who are pure and unsullied by sin — Yeshuos Yaakov], and toil in Torah each day, continually. Remember the many aged men and women among Israel, who arise early to enter the houses of prayer and Torah study, and who yearn, crave and hope each day for Your salvation.
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My Father in Heaven! Remember the covenant which You established with the three righteous Patriarchs, Avraham, Yitzchak and Yaakov. And you have written in Your Torah, “And if your brother will become impoverished ... you shall strengthen him” (Vayikra 25:35) [so, too, strengthen us so that we will not falter].
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My Father in Heaven! Remember the many crippled and blind among Israel who do not have sufficient food, yet hire teachers to study Torah with their children.
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My Father in Heaven! Remember Israel, Your possession in this world, as it is written, “Is He not your Father, your Possessor?’’ (Devarim 32:6); and “Hashem acquired me at the beginning of His way” (Mishlei 8:22).
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My Father in Heaven! Remember the many widows and orphans among Israel, who toil in Torah and mitzvos each day, continually.
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The above should inspire each of us to arouse compassion before Hashem on behalf of the Jewish people, for in our day, the sources of merit cited in Tanna D’Vei Eliyahu are still to be found. The material status of the Jewish people in our time is far from good; yet wherever one turns, he finds Jews who study Torah, observe mitzvos, support Torah study, do kindness with others and give charity to the poor.

Keep reading Day 111, the lesson for Shabbos

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Day 111 – Between Teachers and Students
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Loshon hora initiated by children and accepted as fact by their believing parents is often a cause of major injustice. It happens all too often that one or two key students in a class arbitrarily take a disliking to their teacher and stories are exaggerated and circulated. Well-meaning parents accept their children’s accounts of the going-on at school and before long the teacher finds himself struggling to defend his position.
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As every adult knows, student dissatisfaction is not necessarily an indication of a teacher’s inadequacy as an educator. The students’ version of a situation must be considered but not accepted as fact. A thorough and discreet investigation – one which does not cause the teacher embarrassment – must be conducted before a teacher is declared at fault.
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A teacher too, must avoid believing accusations directed by students against one another. Here, too, an investigation is called for, and unless the facts can be established, no action should be taken.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Meriting the Light
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The Torah states: “... and they [the judges] shall judge the people with righteous judgment” (Devarim 16:18). Midrash Tanchuma comments:
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R’ Yehudah ben R’ Shalom said: [This teaches] that the judges should strive to find merit for their people before the Holy One, Blessed is He. From whom do we learn this? From Gidon ben Yoash. In his days, Israel was in distress and God sought someone who could speak their merit [and thereby arouse Divine compassion for them] but no one could be found, for the generation was poor in its fulfillment of mitzvos and performance of good deeds. As soon as Gidon was deemed worthy of having found merit for them, a Heavenly angel revealed himself to him. Thus it is written, “And an angel of Hashem appeared to him ... and he said, ‘Go with this strength of yours’ ” (Shoftim 6:12-14), meaning, “with the strength of the merit which you found for My children.’’
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This, then, is the meaning of “... and they [the judges] shall judge the people with righteous judgment,’’ i.e. that they should strive to find merit for the generation.
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The above, too, underscores the greatness of finding merit for the Jewish people before Hashem. One who does so becomes a receptacle for the spiritual light of the sacred Heavenly sanctuary which is called the Sanctuary of Merit; for it is there that the merits of Israel are mentioned, as stated in Sefer Chareidim.
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