SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 61 – With No Alternative
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If after giving a situation much thought, a teacher comes to the conclusion that a particular student has a behavioral or learning problem and feels that it will not be possible to deal with the problem without the involvement of
the principal, his colleagues, or the student’s parents, then the teacher should speak to the necessary party without delay.
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Condition 5 of constructive speech (see Day 50) is that the speaker’s intent be purely for constructive reasons and not out of anger or frustration.? This could be extremely trying when the student in question is disruptive and frequently upsets the teacher.?
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Difficult as it is, teachers must not take students’ behavior personally.? The disruptive student is, in most cases, not fighting the teacher; he is struggling with himself as he deals with the challenges of life.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Pure and Wholesome
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By rejecting loshon hora as false, one ensures that his study of Torah and fulfillment of other mitzvos remain wholesome and untainted.
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One who is in the habit of listening to loshon hora is liable to lose thousands of mitzvos which he could have performed — specifically, the many responses of “Amen” and “Yehei Shemei Rabbah”, and the many minutes of Torah study that can be lost while listening
to gossip. Generally speaking, gossipmongers are eager to sell their “wares” to anyone who is willing to listen and at any time, even in the synagogue while prayers are in progress and in the study hall while Torah is being learned. They carry on conversations
while Kaddish is being recited, during the chazzan’s repetition of the Shemoneh Esrei, and during the public Torah reading.
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When a person is known to refrain from listening to loshon hora, gossipmongers will avoid speaking in his presence, even when their words are intended for others to hear and not for him.
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One who seeks to be completely innocent of the sin of accepting loshon hora should, on a steady basis, speak to the members of his immediate family regarding the imperative of shmiras haloshon. He should tell them of both the great reward for being zealous
in matters of speech and the severe retribution that one may incur for transgressing the sins of speaking and accepting loshon hora.
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Keep reading Day 62, the lesson for Shabbos
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 62 – Harming A Student
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Finally, a teacher must be careful not to cause his student undue harm.? Halachah permits a teacher to strike a child for educational purposes, and embarrassment may also be justified, if it is for the student’s benefit.? (The Talmud
states that striking one’s older child is prohibited as it may incite him to hit back.)? However, in today’s era of brazenness, corporal punishment even in early childhood often teaches violence rather than discipline, and must be carefully evaluated.? Verbal
abuse by a teacher can have a decidedly negative effect on his students and may undermine all efforts at educating the students regarding Shmiras Haloshon.
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In any situation where embarrassment or physical punishment might result from the teacher relating the student’s problem to others, he may do so only if the consequences are necessary for the student’s growth and development.? As mentioned above (Day 26), teachers
must also bear in mind the long-term effects of relating or recording negative information about a student.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Sound Advice
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I offer the following advice to anyone who seeks to guard his tongue from speaking the forbidden: Train yourself to refrain from engaging in any conversation while in a beis midrash (study hall) or beis haknesses (synagogue). The benefits of this practice are
many:
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(1) One fulfills the great mitzvah of displaying respect for the awesome sanctity of these places.1
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(2) His Torah study is untainted by disruption (see Day 61) and his prayers are likewise uninterrupted and not lacking even one Amen or Yehei Shemei Rabba, each a priceless, irreplaceable treasure. Conversely, to disregard these responses is a serious sin.
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(3) The average Jewish male spends approximately four hours a day in the beis haknesses for the three daily prayers. (This figure takes into account the fact that most people remain in the synagogue [studying and praying privately] for a while after the prayer
has ended.2) He spends another two hours in the beis hamidrash studying Torah — a total of six hours, or one-fourth of each twenty four period. Thus, one who scrupulously avoids idle conversation in halls of Divine service is assured of having spent at least
one-fourth of his lifetime on this earth engaged in Torah study and prayer and having avoided all forms of forbidden speech.
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(4) Having trained oneself to avoid conversation for these six hours, one will find it relatively easy to refrain from speaking loshon hora the remainder of the day.
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1. The Torah states, “Observe My Sabbaths and revere My sanctuary — I am Hashem” (Vayikra 26:2). The status of the synagogue and study hall as “miniature sanctuaries” demands proper reverence. “Regarding synagogues, one may not conduct himself with levity in
them, one may not eat in them, nor may one drink in them, nor may one adorn himself in them, nor may one stroll around in them, nor may one enter them in the summer to escape the heat or in the rainy season to escape the rain ...” (Megillah 28a). Included
under “levity” is mundane conversation, such as matters pertaining to business (see Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 151:1).
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2. The Chofetz Chaim wrote these words in the late 1800’s.
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