SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 128 – Ambiguities??
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A statement which can be interpreted by the listener to mean that one party acted or spoke against another is rechilus
even though this was not the speaker’s interpretation of that which he recounted. Such information may be relatead only if the speaker makes it clear that no harm was intended AND the listener is not known to be one who is likely draw his own negative conclusions.
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Verbal Remembrance
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A method through which one can motivate oneself to avoid the sin of loshon hora and its bitter punishment is alluded to in the juxtaposition of two verses in the Torah:
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Beware of a tzaraas affliction, to be very careful and to act; according to everything that the Kohanim, the Levi’im shall teach you, as I have commanded them, you shall be careful to perform (Devarim 24:8).
Remember what Hashem, your God, did to Miriam on the way, when you were leaving Egypt (ibid. v. 9).
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Sifre expounds: “‘Remember what Hashem, your God, did to Miriam ...’ this cannot mean to remember in one’s heart, for the [previous] verse, ‘Beware of a tzaraas affliction ...’ already teaches this sort of remembrance [for, as Sifre expounds, this verse instructs
us to always beware of the sin of loshon hora, for which tzaraas is a punishment]. What, then, does ‘Remember’ imply? That we remind ourselves of this [Miriam’s punishment] verbally.’’
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Regarding the positive commandments, the Torah states: “...that you may ... remember all the commandments of Hashem and perform them” (Bamidbar?15:39).
In the same way, verbal remembrance of the severity of loshon hora is a prime way of avoiding its transgression.
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One may wonder: How is it that people recite the verse, “Remember what Hashem, your God, did to Miriam on the way, when you were leaving Egypt,’’ each morning, and yet they speak loshon hora? Moreover, there are individuals who commit this sin immediately after
reciting this verse!
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The answer to this is obvious. The Torah states: “for it is not an empty thing for you (Devarim 32:47)”. Midrashically, this means that the Torah is not, Heaven forfend, empty. If you find it to be unfulfilling, then the failure stems from you. The fault is
in you, not in the Torah.
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To our misfortune, we have fulfilled the prophet's words, “Because this nation has approached Me, honoring Me with their mouths and lips, but their heart was far from Me, and their fear of Me was by force of habit” (Yeshayahu 29:13). We declare “Remember” with
our lips, but we do not take its message to heart. It is clear that when a person does take its message to heart, the effect is profound.
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Dedicated as a zechus for Hillel Tuvia ben Batsheva
and Elisheva Yael bas Daveda Sharon
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SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
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Day 129 – Upon Request
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As with any Torah prohibition, one may not speak rechilus even when he was asked to do so by someone who will be upset by his refusal to comply and has the power to do him damage. One must be prepared to suffer embarrassment, jeopardize
his social status, or even lose his job in order to avoid speaking rechilus.
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As with other forms of forbidden speech, one may not speak rechilus upon the request of a parent, teacher, or rav, except when it is necessary l’toeles, for a constructive purpose (see below).
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SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
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Root Causes
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Verbal remembrance of Miriam’s affliction will inspire a person to refrain from loshon hora only if he is not in the habit of transgressing this bitter sin. However, one who has developed such a habit, and thus finds it difficult to refrain from speaking and
listening to forbidden talk, must deal with his spiritual malady as he would treat a physical one. To cure a physical condition, one must determine the condition’s source and then administer the appropriate medication. Similarly, when one is afflicted with
a penchant for a particular form of negative behavior, he must determine its root cause and eradicate it.
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The root causes of loshon hora are alluded to in the Hebrew words for All Gehinnom. These words are an acronym for: anger; scoffing; arrogance; despair; without rule or regulation; negativity; and saying it is permissible. We shall elaborate upon each of these
traits.
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There are those whose frequent transgression of the laws of forbidden speech is rooted in the trait of anger. These people are by nature quick-tempered, and their anger flares at the slightest provocation. In a fit of anger, they find it impossible to control
their tongues, speaking whatever comes to mind. There is no hope for such people to develop the quality of shmiras haloshon unless they learn to overcome their tendency toward anger.
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