Day 5 ¨C Character
? It is forbidden to say that someone possesses a negative character trait.? For example, it is forbidden to say that an individual is quick-tempered, argumentative, stingy, arrogant, etc.
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To say that someone is of bad character is forbidden as it is a derogatory statement.? However, to indicate that someone is of average character (for example, that he does not overlook the wrong done to him) ¨C while not complimentary ¨C is also not derogatory
and may be permissible.? In common situations where the term ¡°average¡± has negative connotations; such a statement would also constitute loshon hora.
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On the basis of the principle of relative statements discussed previously (Day 4), the claim that a person known for his piety is, in actuality, no better than average, is certainly loshon hora.
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? SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON ? Claims and Counter-Claims ?
R¡¯ Yochanan ben Dehavai said: Do not distance yourself from a quality that is without limit and from a labor that is without end.
To what can this be compared? To someone who took water from the ocean and cast it onto dry land. The ocean did not appear any less full and the land did not become filled [with water]. The man grew frustrated. His employer said: ¡°Foolish one! Why are you upset?
Each day you will receive a gold coin for your work.¡±
(Avos D¡¯R¡¯ Nosson 27:3).
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The ¡°quality¡± to which the sage refers is shmiras haloshon. The evil inclination seeks to discourage us from striving to develop this quality, by way of the following argument: ¡°What benefit will you have from studying the laws and concepts of proper speech?
Are you really capable of guarding your tongue all your life? Try to avoid speaking loshon hora for even a day or two! And do you really think that you can avoid everything that one is forbidden to speak? Why, you are a man of the world, you have dealings
with scores of people!
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¡°Don¡¯t even attempt to acquire this quality ¡ª it simply cannot be done. Guarding one¡¯s tongue requires constant vigilance. It is relevant countless times a day, every day of a person¡¯s life, and it applies to virtually every situation that can occur between
man and his fellow.¡±
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R¡¯ Yochanan ben Dehavai teaches us that this is simply not true. One should not distance himself from this quality which, indeed, is ¡°without limit,¡±1 as we shall explain.
???? ¡°A labor without end¡± of which the passage speaks is that of Torah study.
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