Day 4 ¨C Relative Statements
? Certain statements are loshon hora when said regarding one person, yet are perfectly acceptable when said regarding someone else.? For example, to say that a businessman studies Torah five hours a day is obviously not derogatory.?
However, to say this of a kollel member who is assumed to be spending his entire day engrossed in Torah study would be derogatory.? Similarly, it would be forbidden to relate the amount of tzedakah given by an individual, if that amount is considered respectable
only for a man of lesser means.
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[There may be factors which would prohibit relating such information even when it is clearly complimentary.? For example, people who give charity generously often do not want that fact to become public knowledge.]
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? SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON
? The Imperative of Halachic Study
? Knowledge of the Aggadic teachings regarding loshon hora must be complemented by study of the laws of proper speech. In the words of Midrash Mishlei (1:2): ¡°¡®To know wisdom and mussar [inspirational,
ethical instruction]¡¯ (Mishlei 1:2) ¡ª If one has wisdom [i.e. knowledge of halachah] then he can study mussar, but if he lacks wisdom, then he cannot study mussar.¡± The Midrash¡¯s intent is clear: If a person is not knowledgeable in the laws of a given topic,
then no amount of mussar will help him.
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For example: If a businessman thinks that a given practice is not robbery, [when, in fact, it is] then what good will it do to inform him of the severity of the sin of robbery? The same applies to all other negative commandments. Therefore, one must study the
Torah¡¯s laws to know what is permitted and what is forbidden, and he must also learn the mussar teachings which inspire a person to fear Hashem. Through study of such teachings, one arouses his soul toward observance of Torah, aside from fulfilling the positive
commandment, ¡°Fear HASHEM, your God¡± (Devarim 10:20).
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And so it is with regard to shmiras haloshon. Of what benefit will all the mussar in the world be, if one convinces himself that a given forbidden statement is not in the category of loshon hora?! Or, if he tells himself that the laws of loshon hora do not
apply when speaking of a certain individual [when, in fact, they do]?!
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Therefore, it is imperative that one know what is and what is not in the category of loshon hora according to halachah. This study should be complemented by inspirational study of the relevant Aggadic teachings.
Keep reading Day 5, the lesson for Shabbos
SEFER CHOFETZ CHAIM
Day 5 ¨C Character
? It is forbidden to say that someone possesses a negative character trait.? For example, it is forbidden to say that an individual is quick-tempered, argumentative, stingy, arrogant, etc.
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To say that someone is of bad character is forbidden as it is a derogatory statement.? However, to indicate that someone is of average character (for example, that he does not overlook the wrong done to him) ¨C while not complimentary ¨C is also not derogatory
and may be permissible.? In common situations where the term ¡°average¡± has negative connotations; such a statement would also constitute loshon hora.
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On the basis of the principle of relative statements discussed previously (Day 4), the claim that a person known for his piety is, in actuality, no better than average, is certainly loshon hora.
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? SEFER SHMIRAS HALOSHON ? Claims and Counter-Claims ?
R¡¯ Yochanan ben Dehavai said: Do not distance yourself from a quality that is without limit and from a labor that is without end.
To what can this be compared? To someone who took water from the ocean and cast it onto dry land. The ocean did not appear any less full and the land did not become filled [with water]. The man grew frustrated. His employer said: ¡°Foolish one! Why are you upset?
Each day you will receive a gold coin for your work.¡±
(Avos D¡¯R¡¯ Nosson 27:3).
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The ¡°quality¡± to which the sage refers is shmiras haloshon. The evil inclination seeks to discourage us from striving to develop this quality, by way of the following argument: ¡°What benefit will you have from studying the laws and concepts of proper speech?
Are you really capable of guarding your tongue all your life? Try to avoid speaking loshon hora for even a day or two! And do you really think that you can avoid everything that one is forbidden to speak? Why, you are a man of the world, you have dealings
with scores of people!
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¡°Don¡¯t even attempt to acquire this quality ¡ª it simply cannot be done. Guarding one¡¯s tongue requires constant vigilance. It is relevant countless times a day, every day of a person¡¯s life, and it applies to virtually every situation that can occur between
man and his fellow.¡±
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R¡¯ Yochanan ben Dehavai teaches us that this is simply not true. One should not distance himself from this quality which, indeed, is ¡°without limit,¡±1 as we shall explain.
???? ¡°A labor without end¡± of which the passage speaks is that of Torah study.
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