Hello Lenarda...although I get by the old ?"interweb" still anmazes me...I do ? understand about sharing the story etc...Ive exchanged with Stefan on that after he invited me in...whats amazing me in this instant is I remember receiving a mail from you which was very STRONG ..telling me that my story had similar echoes(not your words)...It was a good lesson and helped me move on.
Someone in KS found a branch of the family who lived in Leicester I found a cousin (born in 51!) whose favourite uncle was Czeslaw! I visited them and he knew my father really well ?and was able to tell tell me about my sisters in Canada
I can say things to you quickly and I know you`d understand. Similarly in a sentence you talk about ?"ten years ?of care" and I think I know who you are....and what youve done
Anyway the reason Im not in a position at the moment to " fully" help others is t
hat I havent met my other sister Christine and its consuming me....Shes in Canada living with her mum and Czeslaws wife...Ive talked to Czeslaws wife Marion (just one call) and shes lovely and now that I met Josephine and and shes gone back and told them all about me Im really comfortable with it....apart from the fact Ive got to go there so its just the nuts and boults/practicalities were talking about..... I dont feel whole or truly at peace yet though
?All this and I cant talk to my mother about it because she said when I asked who I was when I was 23 she just gave me my fathers name and said His name is Czeslaw Balinski if you ever find him I dont want to know ?All the other stuff ( violence etc was still going on in her life.....my mum raised two more kids one is a doctor and the other was ?a nurse) that didnt stop their father from eventually clubbing my mother with a golf stick.....She` out of it all now and happy.....I see &quo
t;mam" two or three times a week when Im in England....I live half and half in France
All my formative life there was just nothing....and I just played dumb or fantasised
My mother met Czeslaw when she was training as a fever nurse for a short period in London ?and then returned to the North of England ...When I met Josephine we talked and all that dovetailed with stories he had told her location etc ? I said "...so he would never have known I existed""" and quick as a flash she said...."He knows..."......laugh cry laugh
When you wrote about thinking you would marry and change the world that really hit home to me....We had wonderful children...and like you they are huge in my life now.....Im so happy for you Lenarda ?Amazinglyin my marriage about all my background there was an indifference...and a coldness which I now know is an absence
of love ...I have found someone, Karen ,who found my fathers wedding certificate and was with me when I met Josephine and her husband Bill in Wales
I hope in years to come I can help others...Ill be especially interested im in the 50s and the illegitmate....
?Thats largely the story Lenarda ? Ive sent you a picture on Facebook ...thats me a couple of years back with my grandaughter Mia who I dont see enough of Hopefully Ill be able to tell her the story in years to come
Ive written this "en masse" Lenarda because I think its the only way ...I hope you dont mind.... I neednt say anythig else now.....which is good!....I feel as though you know WHO I AM...haha!....
Not BELL not GOLD not GOLLEDGE but son of Czeslaw BALINSKI.........X David
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