Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. --
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it works:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car
and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on
the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in
the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out
the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox,
when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills
first.
I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is
only 1 check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I
go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Diet Coke that
I
had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push
the Diet Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I
see that the Diet Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it
in the
refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Diet Coke, a vase of
flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.
I set the Diet Coke down on the counter, and I discover my
reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm
going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container
with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the
kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be
looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the
kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it
belongs, but first
I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the
floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill..
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to
do
At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed,
the bills aren't paid,
there is a warm can of Diet Coke sitting on the counter,
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really
baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm
really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to
get
some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know,
because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. LAUGHING AT
YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.
P.S. I just remembered.
I LEFT THE WATER RUNNING IN THE DRIVEWAY
