Lesson 5. I am never upset for the reason I think.
This idea, like the preceding one, can be used with any person, situation or event you think is causing you pain. Apply it specifically to whatever you believe is the cause of your upset, using the description of the feeling in whatever term seems accurate to you. The upset may seem to be fear, worry, depression, anxiety, anger, hatred, jealousy or any number of forms, all of which will be perceived as different. This is not true. However, until you learn that form does not matter, each form becomes a proper subject for the exercises for the day. Applying the same idea to each of them separately is the first step in ultimately recognizing they are all the same.
When using the idea for today for a specific perceived cause of an upset in any form, use both the name of the form in which you see the upset, and the cause which you ascribe to it. For example:
I am not angry at ___ for the reason I think.
I am not afraid of ___ for the reason I think.
But again, this should not be substituted for practice periods in which you first search your mind for "sources" of upset in which you believe, and forms of upset which you think result.
In these exercises, more than in the preceding ones, you may find it hard to be indiscriminate, and to avoid giving greater weight to some subjects than to others. It might help to precede the exercises with the statement:
There are no small upsets. They are all equally disturbing to my peace of mind.
Then examine your mind for whatever is distressing you, regardless of how much or how little you think it is doing so.
You may also find yourself less willing to apply today's idea to some perceived sources of upset than to others. If this occurs, think first of this:
I cannot keep this form of upset and let the others go. For the purposes of these exercises, then, I will regard them all as the same.
Then search your mind for no more than a minute or so, and try to identify a number of different forms of upset that are disturbing you, regardless of the relative importance you may give them. Apply the idea for today to each of them, using the name of both the source of the upset as you perceive it, and of the feeling as you experience it. Further examples are:
I am not worried about ___ for the reason I think.
I am not depressed about ___ for the reason I think.
Three or four times during the day is enough.
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Below, is from Kenneth Wapnick's commentaries on this lesson, from his book set, called: "Journey Through the Workbook of A Course in Miracles," which can be purchased at the following site:??~ M. Street
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Lesson 5. "I am never upset for the reason I think."
*This is one of the lessons I frequently quote, for it goes to the heart of our practice. We obviously think we are upset because of what is going on the world and how it impinges on us. But the <only> reason we are upset, which is not explicitly taught here, although implied, is that we chose the ego as our teacher instead of Jesus.*
(1) "This idea, like the preceding one, can be used with any person, situation or event you think is causing you pain. Apply it specifically to whatever you believe is the cause of your upset, using the description of the feeling in whatever term seems accurate to you. The upset may seem to be fear, worry, depression, anxiety, anger, hatred, jealousy or any number of forms, all of which will be perceived as different. This is not true. However, until you learn that form does not matter, each form becomes a proper subject for the exercises for the day. Applying the same idea to each of them separately is the first step in ultimately recognizing they are all the same."
*Expressed here, again, is the paradox that we are to keep practicing with specifics so that we learn that everything is the same and non-specific. Indeed, this is the central theme of the process given us in A Course in Miracles that will eventually awaken us from the dream. By practicing forgiveness <each> and <every> time we experience upset or dis-ease -- the <form> of our discomfort -- we shall become aware of the underling <content> of guilt that <is> the source of discomfort. That is when we finally learn the inherent <sameness> of all illusions. At this point they will disappear, leaving only the <content> of guilt that <is> the source of discomfort. That is when we finally learn the inherent <sameness> of all illusions. At this point they will disappear, leaving only the <content> of love, our only comfort and the true source of peace. This lesson is extremely important because we all get upset, and are always sure about the cause. This helps us realize that we are not upset because of what is outside, but only because of the way we are <looking> at what is outside.
The lesson's <specific> assignment of identifying the <specific> form of upset, and the cause we ascribe to it follows:*
(2) "When using the idea for today for a specific perceived cause of an upset in any form, use both the name of the form in which you see the upset, and the cause which you ascribe to it. For example:
I am not angry at ___ for the reason I think.
I am not afraid of ___ for the reason I think."
*Jesus now quickly moves us from the bodily world of feelings to the mind's world of our thoughts:*
(3) "But again, this should not be substituted for practice periods in which you first search your mind for "sources" of upset in which you believe, and forms of upset which you think result."
*Jesus returns us to the mind-searching aspect of his training. We are to become accustomed to looking within, learning to pay attention to our heretofore repressed guilt, the ultimate source of what we think are our upsets.*
(4) "In these exercises, more than in the preceding ones, you may find it hard to be indiscriminate, and to avoid giving greater weight to some subjects than to others. It might help to precede the exercises with the statement:"
"There are no small upsets. They are all equally disturbing to my peace of mind."
*We would all tend to discriminate. When something minor upsets us we think we are only "mildly annoyed." Then later in the day something major happens and we become really angry. And we think there is a difference. This is the issue we have been addressing. The ego has us reaffirm the principle that there is a hierarchy of illusions, since this is one of its primary defenses against the Oneness of God: the specificity of the dualistic world belies the unified reality of Divine Abstraction, to use a term in the text (T-4.VII.5:4). This is reality the ego never wants us to remember or reflect here, since that means the end of the ego.
Jesus continues his instructions to us in the same vein:*
(5-6) "Then examine your mind for whatever is distressing you, regardless of how much or how little you think it is doing so."
"You may also find yourself less willing to apply today's idea to some perceived sources of upset than to others. If this occurs, think first of this:
I cannot keep this form of upset and let the others go. For the purposes of these exercises, then, I will regard them all as the same."
*This is what we are to say when tempted to make a hierarchy of what upsets you. And then Jesus reiterates the point in the next sentence:*
(7:1) "Then search your mind for no more than a minute or so, and try to identify a number of different forms of upset that are disturbing you, regardless of the relative importance you may give them."
*We can see how many times in these early lessons Jesus reminds us how we continually try to make a hierarchy of our experiences, believing some things are important and others are not. He is training us to realize they are all the same. Once again, an illusion is an illusion is an illusion.
A deeper study of what is taught in A Course in Miracles yields a rather disturbing revelation: when we are upset, we <want> to be upset, for that proves we are the innocent victims of what the victimizer is doing to us. We shall return to this very important teaching of the Course later, but for now I can mention two very specific discussions of this: "The Picture of Crucifixion' (T-27.1) and "Self-Concept versus Self"(T-31.V).
The remainder of the paragraph repeats the earlier instruction, emphasizing the need to be both specific and gentle in our practice.*
