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One of the things that has gone extra weird lately is money. I'm going to ask you for some, and then talk you out of sending it. Figure out where along that scale you feel most comfortable. Some people can't work (sick, quarantined, social distancing doesn't work for their business), and some people pretty much have no choice but work, even overtime. So the courteous thing to do is to check on relatives and friends and neighbors and (gently and politely) make sure they have enough food and supplies. My life is the same, except for staying home unusually much. I work on webpages and put out Just Add Light each night, for the next morning (with apologies to those who are used to getting it in the afternoon; that just happens; sorry). Just Add Light and Stir was begun at the request of one person who wandered off and married a professional educator (a school administrator, perhaps) within a month. The first post was September 2, 2010. The tenth anniversary is just a couple or three days from now. Another anniversary, coming in October: This group will have been at groups.io for one year, and the rent is due. I think we thought this would be a fun party house, but yahoo mail isn't working as well as it used to, for some people, and e-mail isn't as much fun as it used to be, in general, perhaps. And it's this irritating 2020 everywhere, too, and people's schedules and emotions are disrupted. I can afford to pay for the expenses involved in all of this. Some of you have lots of children, or small children, or both, or teens who are testy and bored or need art supplies. Put your money there, especially if your income is smaller or less regular than it was in better years. If you're an essential worker, or you own a thriving medical-supply company or something, and you've had the thought that it's sad if I help people every day AND pay for the sites and storage, and if it would make you feel better to send me a donation, I would gratefully accept. I won't ask again until 2021, or ever, depending on this'n'that. If you don't send money, I won't notice. I have never kept a list of who has donated before or any such thing. I count to one, one, one... At the bottom of SandraDodd.com is a paypal link. It quietly sits there all the time, and I'm only going to remind people until September 2. https://sandradodd.com/ Sorry for so many words to say "send me some money if you can afford to and you feel like it, and don't send me any if it would be the slightest hardship or if you don't have paypal or you quit reading my stuff years ago." Thanks, Sandra

This announcement just went out on Unschooling Site News, SandraDodd.com Tension, in the sense of balance, of the interplay of careful safety and wild exploration, of a solid anchoring: https://sandradodd.com/tension/ Leveling up! If there are stages, and if there are layers (like an onion), there can be the hope and intention of reaching that next level. https://sandradodd.com/levelup/ A story of NOT Changing—how people can plan and prepare and provision themselves and not actually accomplish any unschooling Second announcement, because now there are some photos with links. https://sandradodd.com/change/not photo (a link) by Cass Kotrba

Researchers at the University of Rochester are looking for parents and/or adults helping to raise children in their homes to participate in a research study examining links between children’s sleep environments and parent, child, and family health and wellbeing. Are you… · At least 18 years old? · Do you have a 5-18 year-old child living in your home? The Child Sleep Environment Study… · Is completely voluntary · Examines the impact of the child’s sleep environment on families · Involves completing: o a 25-30 min. initial survey o offering a chance (roughly 1 out of 5,000) to win a $100 amazon.com gift card · The baseline survey provides feedback on o Sleep hygiene o Sleep duration o Family cohesion o Current parenting hassles LINK: https://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/5699346/cses?source=parlist If you would like more information about the study, please contact one of us directly: Jack Peltz, Ph.D. Assistant Professor of Psychological Sciences Daemen College jpeltz@... Ron Rogge, Ph.D. Associate Professor of Psychology University of Rochester ronald.rogge@...

The writing here is a few years old, but I never put it up when it was new. (Sorry, Marta!) Because lots of kids are more isolated than they used to be (physically) and are trying to maintain friendships by other means (online, one way or another), there are lots of ideas here that could be of use! Social Situations Helping kids get along with others https://sandradodd.com/social/ The links are to Just Add Light posts and to discussions on a public facebook group. Those without facebook accounts can't go to the originals of the quotes, but the series of comments/quotes are whole and good as they are! There's a good set of links, too, also chosen by Marta. :-) I hope everyone finds something to use this week. :-) If your kids are already getting along great, I'm very glad. The more peace and contentment in individual families, the more peace and contentment in the world. Sandra

Joyce Fetteroll is writing at Quora, and though unschoolers will read it (if they're lucky, or if they're following Joyce around :-) ), but she is summarizing what she developed, discovered, and polished over her many years of unschooling discussions, for the benefit of "regular" parents. This, on Chores, is really good. I didn't read the comments. I've read so many comments over the years that I expect them to be the same old stuff, and Joyce is better than most people at turning the thing over and handing it back in a more sensible arrangement. :-) https://www.quora.com/q/kidsandnaturallearning/Do-parents-doing-their-kids-laundry-keeping-their-room-clean-etc-result-in-tidy-people-when-the-kids-live-on-their-o

A question was asked under a post at Just Add Light and Stir, in 2012. I'm working through all the old posts, and finding some interesting old bits, and some beautiful posts I had forgotten about. Someone asked (in an inappropriate place, out of context): I read Katy's story a few days ago and today I am still left wondering; what is it about sleeping in late and playing xbox games for hours at a time that has anything to do with ANY kind of educatin'? :-/ I don't get it... Sandra Dodd: If you look for learning and good relationships, and stop looking for "educatin,' " you might begin to see what we're seeing. http://sandradodd.com/seeingit ________________________________________ Enjoy. :-) I hope Learn Nothing Day went well and you had a bit of fun with it! Sandra

Every person we mention unschooling to for our child seems most concerned with his social growth, i.e. how will he learn how to be with other people without going to school. What is your response to this and what reply would you recommend to this? It might be useful to ask conversationally, "What do you mean?" It's very likely they don't know what they mean. It's a question asked out of very vague fear. If they have an answer, say "Can you give me an example?" It probably won't take much to lead them to see that they haven't really thought much about the topic. Some home educating families feel that they're on trial, or at least being tested. If someone asks you something like "What about his social growth?" it's not an oral exam. You're not required to recite. You could say "We're not worried about it" and smile, until you develop particular stories about your own child. It's easier as your children get older and you're sharing what you *know* rather than what you've read or heard. These might help, depending on the way the questions are coming along.

Eye contact—many reasons for lack of it, but as parents we may have to encourage buggy manufacturers to design them with the baby facing the mother, at least up to the first year. This was a comment more than a question, but it's a good point. Part of the way babies learn has to do with eye contact. Many mothers involved in "alternative methods" use slings instead of strollers or buggies, or tend to carry the babies on their hips and carry their other things in the stroller. Brits were using strollers way more than any Americans I had ever seen use them, and for longer, I noticed as far back as my first visit in the late 1970s, when I saw a car bump a stroller gently in a crosswalk, and the mom just shouted at the driver and waved her arm, as she continued along. Big kids, too, four or five, were in strollers. :-) What do you think about eye contact? Marty's and Kirby's families have strollers where the seat can be facing in our out. I think toddlers would rather look OUT at where they're going (mine did) than to be riding backwards and looking at the mom, but infants... maybe seeing the mom would be a comfort. Mind slept in the stroller, if we went very far. I would "walk them to sleep" sometimes, in a stroller or backpack. The backpack had no eye contact, but they could feel me or their dad breathing, and probably could feel heartbeat. Slings, same, for sure. The question was left after a conference in London, in 2009. I had left everyone a link to the page where responses to overflow or later questions would be. https://sandradodd.com/musicroom.html

Until recently, I have not had many restrictions about food and my son has pretty much eaten what and when he has wanted. However he is starting to get overweight and I feel that it is my responsibility and my fault if this continues. As a result I am beginning to restrict certain things—like the amount of ice cream I'll buy when we are out or what I'll buy for snacks. I feel that I don't want to restrict but neither do I want him to become obese and unhealthy. The 'banqueting table' has been open to him as he does not seem to have regulated his diet to what he actually needs. I notice "not many restrictions" and "pretty much." Without knowing more about it, I would suggest that ANY restrictions cause desire for more. If there were any restrictions, maybe go back to that point and undo that. Perhaps it was just a figure of speech, and there never were restrictions. Either way, this article which is on the surface about TV will help. It's by Pam Sorooshian, who's an economics professor and an unschooling mom: sandradodd.com/t/economics This might help too: SandraDodd.com/monkeyplatters/, but go with the text more than the photos. There was a photo contest, and some of them had more sweets on there, which I never did, really, not counting maraschino cherries or pineapple. It seems minor, but please read on through the comments to see what some families' discoveries and outcomes were. Other ideas:Research on Children's Eating Habits Longterm Effects of Food Controls (or the lack of controls) How it Balances Out The question was left at a conference in London, in 2009. I had left everyone a link to the page where responses to overflow or later questions would be. I love that this group keeps the links from me just cutting and pasting something from my page. Pretty exciting!Z PLEASE feel free to comment, tell stories, send a photo, whatever. This format is nicer than Yahoogroups. The link to the rest of the questions, if you don't want to wait for the one-by-one, is https://sandradodd.com/musicroom.html Sandra

In 2012, on Just Add Light, I quoted the intro to a talk I had given in 2009. I think it was the advance "teaser" description, on a conference blog that's long gone. When my firstborn son was four and we decided not to enroll him in kindergarten that fall, I thought I could foresee the future. I knew unschoolers. I knew alternative education. I knew it could be really fun, and good. What happened over the next nineteen years surprised me. Because of unschooling, I changed. My husband changed. The way we interacted with the world and other people changed, all for the better. Our relationships with all three of our children surpassed any of our imaginings. __________________ Cathy Koetsier commented: I couldn't agree more! When people ask me about the educational value of the way we have chosen to raise our children, I tell them that I have certainly received a great education. :-) __________________ Today when I was in there, I had an update for the page. There was not then, but is now, an online sound file of a talk given the same year, partly from the same notes. :-) I don't say those words up above, but lots of the ideas are in there. So I've added this to that post: The text was the written introduction to a talk I gave in 2009. There is no recording of that day, but this one, later the same same year, is similar: Transformations (sound file, photo, and notes there). While I was poking around looking for that, though, I found a Q&A follow-up page from the conference I quoted from/about, and I thought I could put those in here, over a few days, for potential discussion! I'm willing to seed the clouds here. It's fine with me if there are people who read and don't respond. Learn Nothing Day is in 12 or 13 days (depending where on the globe you are); just a reminder. :-) Sandra

I have something to help stir up ideas here. It's a questionnaire I made for a talk I gave in Albuquerque in 1997. It was passed out as people came into the room, and we didn't talk about it specifically, but just answering the questions takes a person one giant step closer to not needing to think so much about learning. There's a great irony, from that day, and that is that I said (in nervousness, I hope, or habit) that "Kirby taught himself to read." DOH! So I stepped everyone back a couple of baby steps. Still, the giant step... The full set of seven question is at this link, but if you want to, just answer one by one as I bring them here. Either way might be fun. If you want to print a couple out and go through it with a husband or grown kid or friend... https://sandradodd.com/learning.JPG First question: List five things you learned after the age of twelve that you learned totally outside of school. (If you can't think of five, list what you can think of. I'll come back tomorrow and share my own list.) Sandra

What makes "a good teacher"? Have you ever really loved a teacher other students didn't like? Have you ever had the experience of having "a great teacher" who didn't appeal to you at all? (Questions 5 and 6, of 7, for thinking about teaching and learning) The full list of questions is here: https://sandradodd.com/learning.JPG

Question #4 of 7, for thinking about teaching and learning, from an old questionnaire I dragged out to amuse people. What factors help you learn? The full list of questions is here: https://sandradodd.com/learning.JPG Sandra

My e-mails were out of order, sorry. The one about Belinda's exotic (to me) need for quiet was written earlier, but ended up in the queue. I have two addresses, and both are subscribed, and... long story, and confusing. I will do better. "What factors help you learn?" We went in the direction of quiet or noisy. It helps me to learn if I can envision a way or two I can use the info in my own life, or at least if I know someone who will be glad I had learned whatever it is. I have a hard time even figuring out how to try to learn something if I can't figure out how it could be practical or useful. My brain is spinning with "Why!? What's it good for!?" Sandra

"Try to think of three friends who make a living at things they learned outside of school (list by occupation/skill)." (#2 of 7 from a set of questions I wrote up when I was newly speaking about unschooling) I'll amend it for 2020: Who made a living at one time, or could have made a living. Those amendments might be useful when thinking of people who are older, retired, or who didn't work so they could stay home with kids, but could have. :-) Sandra

Question #3 of 7, for thinking about teaching and learning, from some ancient list I made. :-: How many teachers have you had in your life? (You might count private lessons, classes outside school, Sunday School, this workshop, other workshops, campe counselors, Scout leaders, 4-H leaders) 2020 note: That was written to and for people in New Mexico at a homeschooling conference in the 1990s where most were Christian homeschoolers, so the assumption that they knew what 4-H was and might've gone to Sunday School at one time, or still, was not unreasonable under the circumstances. Amend it to your own life and experiences without thinking I'm a prejudiced dork, if you can. :-) The list, if you want to go full speed on your own, is here: https://sandradodd.com/learning.JPG

In a month, July 24, it's Learn Nothing Day. I thought it would be the 12th one, but Holly and I double checked. There have already been 12. This will be #13. UNLUCKY? Maybe! But unlucky might mean that for the first time, it might actually work well. Perhaps a pandemic can hamper learning. Let's see! Let's be scientific about it. If you've failed before it wasn't #13, and there was no globe-trotting virus trying to keep you from learning. Learn normally (or extra much) from now until July 24, and then put the brakes on it. Stop, for one day. Good plan. I have a group for discussion, commentary, art, jokes, on facebook, about it. https://www.facebook.com/groups/lndCOUNTDOWN/ Sandra

Some news! FRIDAY, JUNE 5, 2020 Pressure, Politics, Late-Night Learning Addition and clean-up on page about what can happen if parents pressure children: https://sandradodd.com/pressure Reminder of an obscure page on politics (might be a good season, if you're reading this in Spring 2020) It's about problems for children, if parental focus is elsewhere. https://sandradodd.com/politics Clean up, additions of photos and links, to Late-Night Learning Comments (several people's stories) https://sandradodd.com/latenightlearningcomment.html SOMETHING(s) ELSE: In the past several months, my website has been moved, my photobucket photos have been moved to that new host site, the archives of some older discussions were moved there (all of that thanks to the generous and tireless work of Vlad Gurdiga), and Always Learning moved from yahoogroups to groups.io—you don't need to be a member to look around in there. In the next few months will be the 12th Learn Nothing Day, and the 10th Anniversary of Just Add Light and Stir. Because of all the moving and changes, I'm working every day, either some or for hours, to restore, update, shore up and solidify the images and links in and among those resources. If you find glitches, missing images, bad links, typos, I would appreciate knowing. Thanks for reading! photo (a link) by Chelsea Thurman Artisan