The importance of eye contact :-) (from 2009, London)

#78626

Eye contact—many reasons for lack of it, but as parents we may have to encourage buggy manufacturers to design them with the baby facing the mother, at least up to the first year.

This was a comment more than a question, but it's a good point. Part of the way babies learn has to do with eye contact. Many mothers involved in "alternative methods" use slings instead of strollers or buggies, or tend to carry the babies on their hips and carry their other things in the stroller.

Brits were using strollers way more than any Americans I had ever seen use them, and for longer, I noticed as far back as my first visit in the late 1970s, when I saw a car bump a stroller gently in a crosswalk, and the mom just shouted at the driver and waved her arm, as she continued along.? Big kids, too, four or five, were in strollers. :-)

?

What do you think about eye contact?? Marty's and Kirby's families have strollers where the seat can be facing in our out.? I think toddlers would rather look OUT at where they're going (mine did) than to be riding backwards and looking at the mom, but infants... maybe seeing the mom would be a comfort.? Mind slept in the stroller, if we went very far.? I would "walk them to sleep" sometimes, in a stroller or backpack.? The backpack had no eye contact, but they could feel me or their dad breathing, and probably could feel heartbeat.? Slings, same, for sure.

?

The question was left after a conference in London, in 2009.

I had left everyone a link to the page where responses to overflow or later questions would be.

#78627

Our pushchair had a carseat that attached to it that faced backwards, so when mine were very little they went in that and could make eye contact; when they got too big they were forward-facing or I carried them in a sling and used the pushchair to carry all the paraphernalia?I had to lug around. But even forward-facing I would stop to make eye-contact with them and reassure them if they were upset, and talk or sing to them as we went. So it wasn't exactly a matter of 'rear-facing or no eye contact or interaction'.

I don't know how parents manage without a pushchair/stroller/buggy/pram. I would still take one with us, if I didn't feel too silly now they're all teenagers. It took all our coats, bags, shopping, snacks and drinks, umbrellas - and I could lean on it when I was tired. And ours was big enough for all four children together, when they were all under ten.

Bernadette.

Show quoted text

On Tue, 14 Jul 2020 at 21:14, Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:

Eye contact—many reasons for lack of it, but as parents we may have to encourage buggy manufacturers to design them with the baby facing the mother, at least up to the first year.

This was a comment more than a question, but it's a good point. Part of the way babies learn has to do with eye contact. Many mothers involved in "alternative methods" use slings instead of strollers or buggies, or tend to carry the babies on their hips and carry their other things in the stroller.

Brits were using strollers way more than any Americans I had ever seen use them, and for longer, I noticed as far back as my first visit in the late 1970s, when I saw a car bump a stroller gently in a crosswalk, and the mom just shouted at the driver and waved her arm, as she continued along.? Big kids, too, four or five, were in strollers. :-)

?

What do you think about eye contact?? Marty's and Kirby's families have strollers where the seat can be facing in our out.? I think toddlers would rather look OUT at where they're going (mine did) than to be riding backwards and looking at the mom, but infants... maybe seeing the mom would be a comfort.? Mind slept in the stroller, if we went very far.? I would "walk them to sleep" sometimes, in a stroller or backpack.? The backpack had no eye contact, but they could feel me or their dad breathing, and probably could feel heartbeat.? Slings, same, for sure.

?

The question was left after a conference in London, in 2009.

I had left everyone a link to the page where responses to overflow or later questions would be.

_._,_._,_

#78628

I think eye contact is also important for the parents, especially with infants. I was usually less stressed or frazzled when I had either physical and/or eye contact, especially in social/public settings. I remember feeling very anxious when the hood was over the facing out stroller and I could partially hear but not use my visual clues to discern my babies needs.

20+ years later after having a stroke, I had to ride in a wheelchair at the grocery store and on a trip to the zoo. It was disconcerting at times being pushed from behind and feeling thrust into the crowd ahead of us. I have some social anxiety which doesn’t help, but I felt very visible.

It reminded me of when toddlers & children turn their faces to avoid eye contact when they are shy or because it might feel like an invasion of privacy or personal space for them.?

Dena

Show quoted text

On Tue, Jul 14, 2020 at 3:14 PM Sandra Dodd <Sandra@...> wrote:

Eye contact—many reasons for lack of it, but as parents we may have to encourage buggy manufacturers to design them with the baby facing the mother, at least up to the first year.

This was a comment more than a question, but it's a good point. Part of the way babies learn has to do with eye contact. Many mothers involved in "alternative methods" use slings instead of strollers or buggies, or tend to carry the babies on their hips and carry their other things in the stroller.

Brits were using strollers way more than any Americans I had ever seen use them, and for longer, I noticed as far back as my first visit in the late 1970s, when I saw a car bump a stroller gently in a crosswalk, and the mom just shouted at the driver and waved her arm, as she continued along.? Big kids, too, four or five, were in strollers. :-)

?

What do you think about eye contact?? Marty's and Kirby's families have strollers where the seat can be facing in our out.? I think toddlers would rather look OUT at where they're going (mine did) than to be riding backwards and looking at the mom, but infants... maybe seeing the mom would be a comfort.? Mind slept in the stroller, if we went very far.? I would "walk them to sleep" sometimes, in a stroller or backpack.? The backpack had no eye contact, but they could feel me or their dad breathing, and probably could feel heartbeat.? Slings, same, for sure.

?

The question was left after a conference in London, in 2009.

I had left everyone a link to the page where responses to overflow or later questions would be.

--

Embracing His grace,

Dena

Deuteronomy 28:12

"The?LORD?will open for you His good storehouse, the heavens,

to give rain to your land in its season and to bless all the?work of your hand;

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The importance of eye contact :-) (from 2009, London)