THANK YOU, Nina!

That is definitely an obscure page, but I love it.

https://sandradodd.com/bo/elevator

The day you first wrote, the randomizer was broken (I broke it, somehow, while adding new links).? Vlad has fixed it now.?

Without Vlad Gurdiga's help, my site wouldn't even be working.??

Without Bo King's help, the randomizer would look like a salt shaker.? :-)? And those beautiful trees wouldn't exist.

I'm grateful to those who have helped me keep all that information available and working, and to those who have written things in discussions that were so good they were worth keeping in a second or third place.

I"m grateful to those still reading now, who make all that work worthwhile.

?

Sandra

, four topics have additions, or are being announced:

?

two new stories added at?

"What can I say to doubters and critics?" (This page isn't new, but wasn't announced before.)


Additions to the page on what might happen without structure:


Just finished (started and then misplaced it): Moving (making it easier)

_____________________

If you use the first link, you'll get?

- all the rest

- a photo and link to a "just add light" post with a nice comment

- a randomizer (if you're on a computer, for sure; maybe from a phone) to other posts,?
or
- the ability to scroll back through other site announcements to find pages you didn't know about, or had forgotten and could use again.

?

I've added a few dozen links that weren't at the randomizer, too. so that's up over 850 pages.

Leah Rose wrote something beautiful about moments, and it only taking a second to do better.? She quoted and credited me.

I added that link and an image with the quote to this page:

Moments: Living in moments instead of by whole days

Leah's article moves through toward quotes from the church she grew up in.? It's more religious than I am (as are many people) but it's reinforcement for ideas if they're found down several trails, and bubbling up from more than one spring.

Sandra

?

Part II of that, about healing brought about by becoming a good unschooling parent:

#55 - Sandra Dodd | The Unforeseen Benefits of Unschooling - Healing past traumas

?

There are links there, but this one might not be; I forgot to send it at first.

Don't try to read the whole thing. :-)? You could search my name, maybe.? I'm quoted in more than just that chapter.? It was fun, the time she was working on that study.

?

Sandra

?

Today I listened to this podcast interview:??

Jo Isaac | The Transformative Power of Self-Directed Education

Nice title.

Then I listened to another interview in the same series, of Robyn Coburn.

I know time has passed.? Many years have passed.? Their children are grown (or nearly so, for Kai, but he's TALL, and employed).? ?When I first met Robyn, and later Jo, I could hear Australia on Robyn (who grew up there) and England (fading) on Jo (for a parallel reason).? Today, I heard how Australian Jo sounds and how NOT-so-Australian Robyn does. :-)??

So there y'go.? Robyn is sounding American these days (or that day, anyway).

?

Both of those were sweet, calming "listens."??

?

(Here's Robyn's, which I had linked separately before:?

? )

?

Sandra

I haven't been keeping up with news like this!??

The link leads to lots of podcast sites, and also YouTube.?

Now I'm working on modernizing and stabilizing all the (many) pages linked from my?.

It's a nice interview, and I heard stories I hadn't heard before, which I love, because I followed Robyn's unschooling progress as well as I could for a long time. :-)

?

Sandra

The Conrad Family
#54 - Sandra Dodd | Unschooling thoughts on gaming, YouTube and the internet

There are links to several podcast platforms there, and to a Youtube version, if you like to see facial expressions.

The auto-generated transcript there is not very good.? If you hear something worth quoting in Just Add Light and Stir, please consider transcribing it (or editing that part of the transcript) and sending it here or to me directly.? ?Thanks.

?

?

?I realized I was unclear.

Jayn never went to school UNTIL COLLEGE from where she graduated summa cum lauda.

Thank you for the clarification, Robyn—I assumed that was what you meant!

Each reply was helpful to me. I’ve gained so, so much from the archives of this group, and am happy that there are still members willing to help a new unschooler along.

Katie

I realized I was unclear.

Jayn never went to school UNTIL COLLEGE from where she graduated summa cum lauda.

Regards,
Robyn C

Robyn L Coburn
Http://WorkInProduction.com
Http://IggyJingles.com
My book is available now at Http://DervishDust.com

-=-That very well could have been me with my oldest, who is 16.? I recall maybe saying something like that when she was much younger. --=-

It was an older male human being described.

?

It's interesting, the arc of learning that deschooling takes people through, most of them.? ?Though it helps to extinguish attachment to school at first, sometimes it goes too far toward fear and hatred of school.? ?

Some people start with the fear and hatred.??

Realistic relaxation about choices and possibilities is the ideal place to be.? :-)
It can take a while to get there.:-)

From this page:??

New unschoolers can feel that they're moving between extremes, and it can take a while to settle where the whole family is content. Sometimes it takes years, but there are ways to feel better in the meantime.

If the old rules were that school is vital and "an education" (defined as the curriculum of an ideal school) is necessary, will the new rules be that school is not important and an education is not necessary? We don't make school disappear by turning the other way. It's still there. Our kids might want to go to school someday, in some form. We don't deny that knowledge is important by becoming unschoolers, but many come to prefer the idea of "learning" with its vast possibilities over the narrower "education."

I'm grateful to those who came to that "peace'n'love" spot already who share the process with those who are just working through their newfound fears. THANKS!

?

?

When my daughter asked me what school was like I told her that she would not be able to choose how she spent most of her time, but would have to do what the teacher said.

Having choices really matters to her so that was enough to deter her. I still remember the horrified face she made.

(After never being to school she graduated summa cum lauda and is now 24 and perfectly able to hold a job and follow instructions at her work. )

Regards,
Robyn C

Robyn L Coburn
Http://WorkInProduction.com
Http://IggyJingles.com
My book is available now at Http://DervishDust.com

I remember one parent bragging that a kid "didn't even know the alphabet" as thought it was proof of unschooling success.

That very well could have been me with my oldest, who is 16.? I recall maybe saying something like that when she was much younger.? She's happily going to high school now and intending to graduate.? I've calmed down with being "anti-school" since then.??

The (unschooled) nine year old is reading more and more since October.? He made up is own Pokémon ( ;) ) game with his cards, so all of his got sorted by combat power yesterday.? They previously were sorted by type (grass, fire, electric, etc.).

Last Sunday I laid the tablet with the metamorphabet game on it on the floor at church with a pile of other toys for my 8 month old to play with while I was paying attention to a class.? It caught the eye of a 20 year old sitting next to me and he got really excited about the game and thought it was pretty cool.?

开云体育

Opinions can change a lot in two years. When they are closer to 5 and if they still want to attend school, it would be worthwhile to discover what school means to them.?

I had another thought about unschooling and "alphabetical order."

If the alphabet is just a thing in the world, or a song, a game, a book, then it's not "academic."? There have been a few accounts over the years of a family where they avoided the alphabet because it was schoolish. Maybe a parent had been traumatized by something involving alphabetical order; I really don't know.? I remember one parent bragging that a kid "didn't even know the alphabet" as thought it was proof of unschooling success.

Avoiding access to something seems wrong to me, but that could be interpreted by people who were new to unschooling, and fearful, that I had "avoided access" for my kids to things like book reports, or higher math.

Keep reading about unschooling on my site, and at links from there, if you're trying to settle on what is too much pressure or control one way or another.? ?Things CAN be learned in fun ways without control or pressure.?

Don't prevent learning. :-)??

?

On Sun, Oct 22, 2023 at 08:31 PM, Katie Robles wrote:

The alphabet has been useful for helping my kids write something down when my hands are busy with another kid.? My 14 year old asked me to help her alphabetize her Pokemon card collection a couple weeks ago.? (She knows it.? I never "taught" it to her.? It was a lot of cards).

Katie, I saw your October post on December 21.? DOH!? I thought maybe this group was quiet because people use e-mail less frequently than they used to.? ?I use e-mail every day, but still I didn't see a notification for this.? ?Maybe google sorted it into "social" or something.? ?SORRY!

Alphabetized Pokemon cards (Pokémon... don't forget its 'accident'! :-) ) would be useful.? I don't remember how my kids ordered theirs when they had them in card sleeves in binders.?

?

Of Metamorphabet, Katie wrote:

-=-I bought that app today thinking my 5 and 3 year olds might enjoy it, and my 9 year old got excited because it says the words and has them written down.? He went through the whole alphabet twice in a row on the game.? He's VERY close to reading fluently.? I think he actually is at this point but shy about maybe being wrong so still asking me what words say. -=-

I like the game myself, to play with the animation.? It wouldn't be easy to discover all the things the figures and images will do if they're touched or dragged or tapped. :-)

I like your stories, even though I saw them late.?

?

Sandra

?

On Thu, Dec 21, 2023 at 11:47 AM, Katie French wrote:

Reaching out to this list in hopes that someone can offer some unschooling perspective or experience.

?There's nothing else that should be in this discussion.? :-)

I want to start with some philosophical considerations, to help with your thinking, since you're not yet on the edge of compulsory attendance laws.

Some parents are very sensitive to manipulation (and some kids are).? Some people are so fearful of "manipulation" that they won't even try to sweeten an offer, or feel guilty about persuasive arguments.? ?

My personal sensitivity is honesty.? If parents are dishonest in their persuasive arguments, that's harmful to the relationship, and to future trust,? and to parental integrity.

There are classic stereotypes that are based on human nature.? ?Some parents press a child to succeed and excel in areas where the parent was unable to succeed or even participate.? Sports, maybe.? Ballet.? :-)? Academics.? Music.? If you think about such pressures on kids or teens, that might be a direction you know you want to avoid.

I have seen that in homeschooling, though, of all sorts.
I have seen that in unschooling.?

A parent can be so enamored of a vision of her younger self 'being free' as an unschooler that she pressures her own child to be THAT.? If the parent/child relationship is solid and the child wants to be with the parent, it can still work IF the parent then makes life wonderful and rich, varied and engaging for the child.? ?

Some parents have started there, and made home so fun that school isn't as attractive.? Having friends already, a playgroup or park day, can help.? Some people have that possibility and more people don't, but consider finding? other families to hang out with who are considering homeschooling (not necessarily unschooling), so the child would still have others to play with and hang out with.

Some parents let the child go to school, with an offer to bring him home if it's not fun after a while.

That page has stories of several families.

It's a luxury to have time to consider this.

?

Sandra

?

?

Reaching out to this list in hopes that someone can offer some unschooling perspective or experience. The other day my daughter, 3 and a half, asked me, “Mommy, when will I go to kindergarten?” I told her that children don’t go to kindergarten until age 5, and asked what she thought would be fun about it. She said, “I don’t know. I just really want to go to kindergarten.”

She has never been to daycare or preschool, although as a 1-2 year old she tagged along for drop off and pick up when her brother was at a part time play-based preschool. She doesn’t know anyone in kindergarten (we’ve gone on to unschool her brother, now 6 and a half). The kids she sees most regularly are the other members of our homeschool play group, none of whom has ever been to kindergarten. Her only knowledge of it comes from casual mentions and the many portrayals she’s run across in books and cartoons.

So…how do I counterbalance the fictional portrayals to give her a meaningful and realistic sense of what school is? When I try to describe it to her, I hear myself sort of talking it down—which I actually don’t want to do! When she’s old enough, I do want to give her the choice to go to kindergarten if she wants to—but not just because Sister Bear had a really fun first day there in a Berenstein Bears book left over from my ‘80s childhood.

Is anyone willing to share how you prepared a very young child to make a meaningful choice about school?

Many thanks to anyone who takes the time to respond!



sent from phone

In another topic I linked the page on coaching kids, about behaviors and situations.
??

Also, newer on the page, is a set or series of topics about parental attitudes that can hurt or help the progress and stability of unschooling in a family.? I think the first of those was Seeing and Avoiding Negativity?

Two of my favorites have not been linked much, anywhere:

Indignation is like something has removed one's ability to be dignified—interesting idea.

Outrage is like.... Donald duck in a fury. :-)

And more recently, a pretty frosting on the cake of all the reminders about how negativity harms partnerships and relationships:? Positivity

That links to pages on doing better, and on how families changed.

I hope you find something soothing, or fun, and that life is somehow better, for those pages being there.

Sandra

?

My plan, for the unschooling pages on my website, was to have three links at the bottom of each, and people could keep reading or stop.??

Some pages now have five, or eight links.? ? And newer topics and sections hardly are linked on the older pages.??

? has links to several things that are newer, but fun and useful, so if you're an intermediate unschooler, maybe it would be good to have a peek.

Beginning unschoolers are still wondering whether their kids will learn any geography, or how to spell, and I don't want to burden them with more philosophical bits. :-)

Have fun in there, and if you have any stories to tell here, or maybe for me to add there, I hope you'll respond to this topic!

?

Sandra