I hope the group won¡¯t mind a response a member currently unschooling young children (oldest is six)¡ªI don¡¯t have years of experience to offer, but some real-time perspective that someone out there might be able to relate to and put to use.
For me, when that little, ¡°But what about (whatever academic ¡®subject¡¯)¡± voice speaks up, I consciously remind myself of what the opportunity costs would be of attempting to coerce my child to engage in a more schoolish way with said subject. So, more specifically, I think about how that kind of coercion would damage my relationship with my child; I think about the time it would take away from his happy pursuit of his current interests, and all the wonderful, surprising, unknown things he would *not* be learning as a result; I think about how forced exposure to a subject (or attempts to manipulate *him* into reassuring *me* that he has reached some arbitrary benchmark) would very likely taint his future, more organic engagement with books/numbers/whatever. That¡¯s a few; there are more. Thinking in terms of the costs of doing things differently than we are really brings me back to the core gut knowledge that led me to unschooling in the first place.
I hope these words from a relative newbie don¡¯t violate the spirit of the list. I am grateful beyond words for what I have learned from Sandra¡¯s archives.
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On Aug 22, 2023, at 8:57 AM, Julia Norcross <JuliaCNorcross@...> wrote:
?¡°I usually recommend is to shift the attention to creating a joyful, loving, cheerful, engaging environment at home based on hobbies, interests and what really excites the children. I also usually suggest that focussing on areas like play, food, craft, art, outings, movies, shows, play dates, gaming, music, trip to museums, parks, woods, hikes, biking, or other such non-academic pursuits takes the edge off this 'sense of being irresponsible'.¡°
I want to second this. I don¡¯t think I ever used the word irresponsible to describe what I¡¯m feeling a lot of the time but that is exactly what I am trying to move through. Focusing on all of activities you¡¯ve mentioned here helps me a lot also. Focusing on being engaged in the joy with them, as well as capitalizing on the bits of time sprinkled throughout the day where they are questioning the world around them helps me immensely to redirect those disruptive thoughts and feelings. For example, my son got stung by a wasp at the park a couple of weeks ago. It was very painful for him and he was terrified in the moment, but after the pain subsided and he knew he was going to be okay, he asked me a ton of questions about wasps. We learned about them together. While I don¡¯t recommend anyone get stung by a wasp, there are lots of these learning opportunities throughout the day that present themselves just by living our lives and changing our environment. There are many opportunities for me to lean into the learning that IS happening, vs. focusing on what they¡¯re not learning.
On Aug 22, 2023, at 12:12 AM, dola dasgupta-banerji <doladg@...> wrote:
I usually recommend is to shift the attention to creating a joyful, loving, cheerful, engaging environment at home based on hobbies, interests and what really excites the children. I also usually suggest that focussing on areas like play, food, craft, art, outings, movies, shows, play dates, gaming, music, trip to museums, parks, woods, hikes, biking, or other such non-academic pursuits takes the edge off this 'sense of being irresponsible'.
