I'm in New Mexico, where a lot of teens drive early¡ªat 15 or 16.? Early compared to some other places.
IF the oldest is a driver, and willing to get out, maybe errands would help.? He'd still be alone, but would be doing something useful and mature.? "We need milk and cat food," or "Could you go and get chicken nuggets and fries, enough for all of us?" or whatever might work.? [Apologies to vegans for all the milk and chicken nugget thoughts that come normally to me.]
That's distraction, but it's also a way to kind of... throw the dice again; to reset the relative positions of all the people involved.?
If you could find a few very adult things like that, for him to do, don't forget to do some sweet-to-inner-child things too, though.? Favorite snack in a monkey-platter delivery, or a new water bottle with a color or texture or art you think he'd like.? Ice water in it.? A t-shirt with a game or cartoon character he loved when he was nine years old.
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The ice water and textured bottle idea, and the changing up of who's in the house, seem to be coming (for me)? from the sort of routine-breaking differences that have helped me de-funk or cheer up when I felt I was sinking into a routine of "life is wrong" thoughts and increasing inactivity.? Sometimes what gets my own attention is something new and different to play with¡ªin my hands.? ?Sometimes I found something, but sometimes someone happened to give me something or bring something over, that had a texture worth feeling or touching, or my granddaughter made slime and I played with her, with it.? Or the cat had a sticker, and I ended up checking the whole cat which turned into a kitty massage session that soothed the cat and me both.
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Somewhere there was a meme going around that handcrafts or needlework specifically maybe was really good therapy.? Maybe more for women than men, or maybe not.??
If money isn't too tight, maybe something like new towels in the bathroom he uses¡ªfluffier, colorful (or really white, if that's his personality, to have clinically sanitary stuff/colors).? A new pillow (but don't take away his old one), or blanket (ditto on the old one.
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Not all of that at once, but the thing could serve as distraction and physically calming.... something I don't know the words for.
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Sandra
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(If this doesn't look like Sandra Dodd's e-mail, it is one.? "AElflaed" is my medieval-studies/SCA name.)
