Wow, lots in that.? Instead of using monkey platters to open up their options it's being used as a method of control.?
I'm going to pull out this little piece:?
"Kids would gobble up one item and practically crush each other to get to the 'good stuff' before the others ate it all. "
Not only is scarcity being created by the food selection and amounts but it's also pitting the siblings against each other.?
They're having to compete and someone is losing out.? Instead of feeling abundance they're feeling scarcity and lack.?
That happens often enough accidentally or incidentally in big families that it would be better to actively avoid and prevent situations like that.?
For example, one of my daughters really wanted strawberry popsicles this week.? We bought a box that is just hers and it's in the big freezer where the other kids won't constantly be seeing and thinking about it.? We also got a box for them as well, just in case they felt left out, or she wanted to eat hers while they were around.?
Instead of fighting over the "good stuff" it's one of many options in the freezer.? Instead setting up a dynamic of me vs them, she can be gracious and giving.?
This extends to their relationship in other ways too.? For example she likes to bring one or two little brothers into her room for a piece or two of Halloween candy (She still has most of it).? It's a very sweet way for her to connect with younger siblings when they don't have much else in common right now.?
That wouldn't be happening if all the kids felt like they had to gobble something up before someone else got it.?
