REMINDER
This group is not private.? Don't say things you wouldn't want others to read.? It's not a confidential therapy session.? Try to discuss ideas, as ideas, rather than people.? How would unschooling principles apply?? What is sensible and beneficial to the children?
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The original question seems to be largely about memes and stereotypes, and guesses at what grandparents might perhaps be expecting.
"If your child is more important than your vision of your child, life becomes easier."
Could that be applied to grandparents, too?
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(If this doesn't look like Sandra Dodd's e-mail, it is one.? "AElflaed" is my medieval-studies/SCA name.)